Welcome back to the sexy kitchen.

Please bear with me as I am getting the kinks worked out of both my new camera and my new Windows 10 operating system. Why have you not gone to Apple like all your other products dear Adrik? Well it is coming down the pipeline friends...it's coming along slowly but surely.

But all allusions to Apple Macs infesting my household in the near future aside, it's time to run your fingers through my hair for tonight's enthralling installment of Adrik's Sexy Kitchen. The only programme on FurAffinity that is not a programme, but also does not feature someone in a fursuit around a stove.

Although my last name is Wolf...so maybe a point or two will be issued for that.

So here's the situation. It's Monday night and you don't feel like going to Jack In The Box for another Munchie Meal. What ever will I do? Well, if you have about thirty to forty minutes, around ten to fifteen US dollars (prices slightly higher in Zimbabwe) and the knowledge of using a few simple knives, pans, and stove, you could really impress that special someone in your life with this easy and tasty home-cooked meal.

So bring yourself in from the sandbox and let's make some sexy magic.

The Ingredients:

1 Pork Roast (Go about 1/2 to 1 pound on this, depending on how many will be dining)

12 OZ of fresh Ramen noodles. You want fresh on this for the taste, buttercups. Your package of Ramen chicken-flavoured noodles that has been lost behind the dishwasher for a month won't cut it.

2 fresh scallions. (No, these are not the scallions that live in the ocean. Those are scallops. You go to the seafood department and ask for scallions and they will kick you in the head.)

1 ear of corn. (Pretty self explanatory. You can also use canned or frozen corn if you don't want to do all that husking and other naughty Amish-type stuff.)

1 Eggplant. (Here's a fun fact! The eggplant, though largely considered a vegetable, is actually a berry! Mind blown!)

About a 1/4 ounce of micro-greens. (These are those bullshit plants that are used for garnish mainly. Use them if you'd like...I don't much care.)

The spices:

2 tablespoons of Pork Demi-glace
2 tablespoons rice vinegar
2 tablespoons Soy glaze
1 piece of fresh ginger
1 teaspoon spice blend: black sesame seeds, white sesame seeds, ground sansho pepper and kibbled nori. This can be pretty much purchased in a packet in the spice aisle, so do yourself that favour and buy it that way.

Also needed:

salt and pepper
Cooking oil. (I use Carbonell extra virgin olive oil. It's very healthy and easy to cook with.)
Two fry/skillet cookpans
One colander
Mixing bowls
baking sheet
aluminum foil
meat thermometer
sharp, big ass knives
not so sharp cooking utensils
and the ability to operate a stove without needing your mommy to turn it on for you.

So let's begin:

1.) Preheat the oven to 450°F. Wash and dry the fresh produce. Heat a medium pot of salted water to boiling on high. Trim off and discard the root ends of the scallions; thinly slice the scallions, separating the white bottoms and green tops. (isn't segregation fun, kids :-O)Remove and discard the husks and silks of the corn. Cut the corn off of the cob. (This is where it could get tricky for inexperienced cooks, so maybe you should get the canned or frozen corn as I mentioned earlier.)Cut off and discard the stem end of the eggplant; cut the eggplant into 1/2-inch-thick rounds. Peel and mince the ginger.

2.) Remove and discard any netting from the pork; pat dry with paper towels and season with salt and pepper on all sides. In a large pan, heat 2 teaspoons of oil on medium-high until hot. Add the seasoned pork. Cook, turning occasionally, 4 to 6 minutes per side, or until evenly browned. I find about four minutes browns things nicely. And be on guard for spitting oil...it will splash out and make your stovetop all slimy. But it's easily cleaned up.)Transfer to a foil-lined sheet pan. Roast the seared pork 10 to 12 minutes, or until cooked through. (This is where your meat thermometer comes in handy, kiddies. It should register 145°F.) Remove from the oven and transfer to a cutting board. Let rest for at least 5 minutes.

3.) While the pork roasts, wipe out the pan used to sear the pork. Add 2 teaspoons of oil; heat on medium-high until hot. Add the eggplant in a single layer; season with salt and pepper. Cook, flipping occasionally, 5 to 7 minutes, or until browned and tender. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Transfer to a plate and wait for further instructions. (BTW, the eggplant is completely voluntary...if you feel you can do without the eggplant, skip this step completely. It will not affect the final dish.)

4.) While the pork continues to roast, add 2 teaspoons of oil to the pan used to brown the eggplant. (or, in my case, just use another pan. Nothing wrong with having several pans going at one time, you super chef you!) Heat on medium until hot. Add the ginger and white bottoms of the scallions; season with salt and pepper. Cook, stirring frequently, 2 to 3 minutes, or until softened and fragrant. Add the corn, soy glaze, vinegar, demi-glace and 2 cups of water; season with salt and pepper. Bring to a simmer and cook, stirring occasionally, 4 to 6 minutes, or until thoroughly combined. Remove from heat. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

5.) While the broth simmers, add the noodles to the pot of boiling water, stirring gently to separate. Cook, stirring occasionally, 2 to 3 minutes, or until tender. Drain thoroughly and rinse under warm water. Divide between how ever many bowls (in this case...two to three...maybe four if you stretch it).

6.) Grab Adrik's big-ass knife and thinly slice crosswise against the grain of the roast. Stir any juices from the cutting board into the broth. Divide the finished broth between the 2 bowls of cooked noodles. Top with the browned eggplant and sliced pork. Garnish with the spice blend, green tops of the scallions and microgreens. Enjoy one bowl for yourself and share the other with your cat or your dominatrix.

And there you go! A simple and delicious meal that may give you second thoughts about going to the Jack In The Box Drive-Thru again!

I really have to consider doing actual videos for these...if I decide to continue with the Sexy Kitchen or not....because the typing is just monotonous and I know you all would rather hear my voice when I cook and crack lame jokes.

I'll think about it.

Also, feel free to add your own variations to this dish. I just give you the template. The magic is up to you!

Join us tomorrow for Adrik's Sexy Kitchen where the meal will be Pan-Seared Cod with Summer Succotash!

Until next time....Enjoy!
~Adrik