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Story / Transformation
Species Vulpine (Other)
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More from Matt-the-dragon
Right, well, I decided to stop being a "one hit wonder" and submit more...
Not much to say here. Refer to this:
http://matt-the-dragon.deviantart.c.....dea-1-95489008
for a small intro. That's what the idea came from. And it's developed into this... whatever it is.
A little language, but nothing you all can't handle.
Enjoy. And lemme know what you thought. This is the product of several months of working on-and-off on this thing.
Be warned, I switch POV (point of view) a few times between myself and Lydia, so if things seem to go funky all of a sudden, that's why.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used ficticiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
EDIT: At the suggestion of
brome I have added dividers to signify a change in POV. Thanks, dude.
And another word, I didn't change the names of places mentioned within. They are real-life locales. The only changes made from the original manuscript is a few name-changes for the guys at the cafe.
Not much to say here. Refer to this:
http://matt-the-dragon.deviantart.c.....dea-1-95489008
for a small intro. That's what the idea came from. And it's developed into this... whatever it is.
A little language, but nothing you all can't handle.
Enjoy. And lemme know what you thought. This is the product of several months of working on-and-off on this thing.
Be warned, I switch POV (point of view) a few times between myself and Lydia, so if things seem to go funky all of a sudden, that's why.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used ficticiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
EDIT: At the suggestion of
brome I have added dividers to signify a change in POV. Thanks, dude.And another word, I didn't change the names of places mentioned within. They are real-life locales. The only changes made from the original manuscript is a few name-changes for the guys at the cafe.
Category Story / Transformation
Species Vulpine (Other)
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 19.7 kB
Not bad, but you do need improvement in some areas of writing. A good place to start: put the author's notes at the end of chapters, not in the middle of chapters where it'll break the flow. Trust the readers to use context clues to figure it out - even if they don't know what Magic: the Gathering is (I do, but that's irrelevant), they can understand that a "heated game of *blank*" means blank is probably some kind of game, maybe a card or video game. Also, one of the author's notes says "Add in small talk later". The later really should have been before you posted this, work in progress or not.
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