oh God! the mask came off, there are tears beneath. ;-;

For some, the mask is a painful thing. It can go beyond feeling empty. It can be the very being of Apathy. There is no other force more destructive in the entirety of this universe than the very thought of apathy. This living, breathing existence without joys or pleasures, angers or frustrations...simply... emptiness without care.

aye, I experienced it before. when I snapped out of it, it became my singular biggest fear. so much I dreaded it, that I desperately subjected myself to as much emotional stimulus as possible in order to avoid any risk of succumbing to apathy again. I became addicted to emotion.

with my new medicine, I am stunned to know that emotions can feel so much stronger than they have up until now. it is quite overwhelming. but I think that's a good thing.