I have a lot of anxiety and nights have been even pure hell all my life. Only a few months ago I finally got to draw the face of all the horrors of my night. I drew him to describe what it feels like to be too afraid to fall asleep because there's always a possibility that I slept away, my family might be in danger, there's a war starting or simply the world is ending. It feels like there's always someone who reminds me of all the terrible things that could happen - even if they're practically impossible. Last spring I started to get a better idea of what that creature might look like. That demonic creature made of pure horror and fear, the one that always shows up when the sun goes down and refuses to leave until the sun rises again. This drawing used to give me chills and actually still does, but I've grown more comfortable with it and I've almost won the fight with it now.

So this is the Fear, the one that always says "but what if?" while I try to sleep without the fear of losing it all in the very moment I close my eyes and fall asleep. ((As a sidenote I wanna say that I don't hear actual voices or see characters, thank Lord for that, but this is how I imagine my fear and anxiety to look like. Drawing him made it easier for me to feel like I'm in control and not him now that I've torn him from his mysteriousness.)

The original drawing was made traditionally with a ballpoint pen, coloured with Photoshop.