Art by: http://weisdrachen.deviantart.com/

Well lads, sorry ta say, but ah cannae let yee in this 'ere buildin'. Property 'a th'king ya see. Eh? What would th'king want with a wee scotch still? Lads, ya clearly 'ave not seen th' company his majester keeps sittin' 'round his great 'ol pile 'o rocks. Another great pile 'o rocks! ME! HA! Oh no, don't yew be givin' me that 'ole "oohhhhh but yer just a wee bunch 'a magic, talkin' stone, 'n granite cannae drink 'r taste anythin'!" line, boyos! Ah may not 'ave a throat, but ah'll be dammed ta the...feck, 'owever many'th circles 'a hell there be! Ah'll be dammed to the lot of 'em b'fore ah give up a wee sip ah what ah please! ...'R perhaps th' whole stack 'a barrels in the back 'a this 'ere store house. New orders, lads! Scamper ta th'other side a town 'n find a nice litt'l hidin' spot! Ah've a feelin' there's a few earthquakes a'comin'!

...What're yew pointin' at th'roof fer? It's FIIIIINE, it's fine! Just a few wee cracks! Nothin' ta be concernin' yerselves with! Now s'daddle 'n stop starin' at me arse!

It was at that moment that the roof collapsed, and Petra fell into a vat of rather strong alcohol, starting off the adventures of this particular story https://www.furaffinity.net/view/17914248/