Was down really far in a black hole when I did this piece of her. Ruin is a part of my Bi-polar. (Coping became easier after I assigned different beings to the separate states of my mind) Painting her in that moment was very cathartic for me.

She represents all that is dark, evil, cruel. She is the voice that whispers, "He doesn't actually love you. He's worthless and you should hate him back." None of which is true.

If I let her slide into control she can cause me to rip apart people who are very close to me in a attempt destroy my brighter and "offensive" world. She can even cause me to attack myself.

Everyday is a struggle to keep her at bay. Some days I'm lucky and she's quiet. Others a simple "shut up." will quell her. The worst are the all out wars.