My fursona with a body shape more like my own, complete with stretch marks, a tubby belly, my hairstyle, some of the scarring on my arm etc. It was a bit of a challenge to draw a plus sized character after not drawing one for so long! D:

I am sort of nervous about posting this. I don't expect anyone to agree with my decision to draw my fursona like this, but if you dislike the image, please keep it to yourself! You are free to not look at it, if it bothers you. I don't think I'll draw content like this often, so don't worry if you are watching me and worried about my gallery suddenly turning into fat furs or something! D:

Ignore the next part if you aren't interested in reading about my inspiration for it/a bit of life story ^~^

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Recently I went to a Halloween event where I met a wonderful new friend. She was so confident and sure of herself, and she told me about how when she has her fursona drawn for the first time, she wants her to be the same size as her, as she has come to terms with her body and stuff like that. Her confidence and attitude were like glowing beacons and I immediately had massive amounts of respect for her. She has been through some terrible things but still, at least outwardly, glows with confidence.

I pondered for a while when I got home, and finally I drew this. I am very self conscious of my body and have been trying to lose weight for literally my entire life. I have always been overweight. Even as a child I was trying to lose weight. I was really active as a kid, every lunch time I would run laps around a field, I would eat well, I didn't get pocket money so I didn't buy sweets or anything like that. But still I never managed to lose any weight at all.
In 2014 I managed to lose around 7kg as a result of getting quite sick for two months and hardly being able to keep down any food. Apart from that, I've had almost no success with any other weight loss. I have tried low fat dieting, low carb dieting, high fruit/vege diet, I bought gym equipment which I used every day, I have tried simply improving the quality of my diet without cutting anything out to try and make a more sustainable lifestyle, but no success apart from that time I got quite sick.
This doesn't mean I will give up on trying to lose weight - but it does mean that I should, at least, learn to love the body I'm in. This body will probably take years to get to a smaller size, so for those years it takes to slim down, I should still love and care for my body anyway.

One of the biggest ironies is that the people who are judgmental towards big people are part of the reason I am still big. I lack the confidence to exercise publicly at all, due to a fear of being mocked. My self confidence can be so low that I don't leave my home for days at a time because I am so scared of other people and what they may think of me. So if you're one of those people who mock plus size people when you see them puffed and sweaty, or winded while walking or jogging, just remember you're making it even harder for them to make a change. Fucking cheer them on instead, because that shit is hard, man!

I have been freaking out at the thought of going to FurDu 2016 and FurCoNZ 2016 because I haven't wanted people to see this body of mine. My confidence issues are that bad. I even get my partner to pay for groceries on my card sometimes because I feel like they will judge me even for buying food, like what the hell. But hopefully this is a good first step in coming to terms with this body and learning to like it, as I still try to lose weight and get fit.

I have a lot more scarring than the few I have drawn in on my arm, but I feel like it would kind of kill the picture to have all of my scarring visible and kind of take away from the size positivity message.

If people are excessively rude in the comments I may disable comments, but for now I am trusting you guys and leaving them open. >~>