With my new patented [1] method and five (5) [2] easy payments of 29.99 [3], you [3] too can enjoy all of the benefits [5] of being a popufur [6]. Just be sure to follow all of the included steps [7], and you will fine your fave, view, and watch count [9] skyrocketing! [10]

Be sure to comment with your success stories below! [11]

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Footnotes:
[1] Not actually patented, not like anyone will fact check if it looks legit enough.
[2] base 6
[3] Belly rubs accepted
[4] Or your friends, grandparents and or cats. Wait, where's 4?
[5] Not evaluated by the FDA
[6] Read: Twat
[7] Side effects include diarrhea, vomiting, and an inflated sense of self-worth.
[8] And blood pressure.
[9] That's a capital B, not an 8.
[10] By now this joke is dead. Why are you still reading?
[11] Review me on that other furry site, but only positive reviews or I'll come find you. >:V