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*Just a slight update: Grammar and Spellcheck only. (Finally Bartan, that only took a month)
The sequel to Edge Of Black is finally here, and ready for the most part. Things might start getting rather busy for me soon, so I thought I should post this while I have the chance. I'm still re-reading it, and about 50% of the way through. But if there's something I find that needs correction, I'll update this quickly from time to time.
Anyway, first off: like the previous issue, there is no sexual stuff in this series. A bit of 'Nudity' like the first one, but nothing specifically arousing. It still didn't quite fit or add into the tone of the entire series, so I didn't bother with anything. Not to mention... There is A LOT to All Pain Is Gone, to the point where I'm worried that the reader might get overwhelmed.
Due to this, there is going to be a lot of "Opened Questions" especially towards the end of it. They're not really "Questions Without An Answer" but more questions for the reader itself to answer. More or less: What do you think happened/happens at the end? It's not going to be a large cliffhanger or anything, so don't worry. But seriously, I want to know what you think will happen (AKA: Be warned of spoilers in the comments section)
I really don't want to say anything that will spoil stuff, so I'll leave it at that. Surprisingly, there's not really much to say about this act, it speaks for itself quite well. So, off to music credits: The subtitle is actually a song by Combichrist. I normally remain on the neutral side when it comes to their music. Never Surrender is catchy, and the stuff they did for DMC: Devil May Cry was actually quite good. But the rest was very... "Clubby." Not really a style of music that I listen to alot. However, I did manage to find All Pain Is Gone, and I instantly thought of Thais. Again, not spoiling anything, but the song fit this act almost perfectly. It's got that perfect balance of being energetic, yet it captures the suffering she went/goes through. Though the vocals are a bit... "Different", I wouldn't consider them harsh really.
Red Hypergiant © Architects
All Pain Is Gone © Combichrist
Though this one isn't exactly mentioned, the music that inspired the Battle of Blisterbark was:
Ancient Glas Ghaibhleann which is © to Vindictus/Devcat
Buuuut turn down your speakers/volume a little.
Alright, I'm out. Happy Holidays everyone, and I'll see you sometime in January maybe.
The sequel to Edge Of Black is finally here, and ready for the most part. Things might start getting rather busy for me soon, so I thought I should post this while I have the chance. I'm still re-reading it, and about 50% of the way through. But if there's something I find that needs correction, I'll update this quickly from time to time.
Anyway, first off: like the previous issue, there is no sexual stuff in this series. A bit of 'Nudity' like the first one, but nothing specifically arousing. It still didn't quite fit or add into the tone of the entire series, so I didn't bother with anything. Not to mention... There is A LOT to All Pain Is Gone, to the point where I'm worried that the reader might get overwhelmed.
Due to this, there is going to be a lot of "Opened Questions" especially towards the end of it. They're not really "Questions Without An Answer" but more questions for the reader itself to answer. More or less: What do you think happened/happens at the end? It's not going to be a large cliffhanger or anything, so don't worry. But seriously, I want to know what you think will happen (AKA: Be warned of spoilers in the comments section)
I really don't want to say anything that will spoil stuff, so I'll leave it at that. Surprisingly, there's not really much to say about this act, it speaks for itself quite well. So, off to music credits: The subtitle is actually a song by Combichrist. I normally remain on the neutral side when it comes to their music. Never Surrender is catchy, and the stuff they did for DMC: Devil May Cry was actually quite good. But the rest was very... "Clubby." Not really a style of music that I listen to alot. However, I did manage to find All Pain Is Gone, and I instantly thought of Thais. Again, not spoiling anything, but the song fit this act almost perfectly. It's got that perfect balance of being energetic, yet it captures the suffering she went/goes through. Though the vocals are a bit... "Different", I wouldn't consider them harsh really.
Red Hypergiant © Architects
All Pain Is Gone © Combichrist
Though this one isn't exactly mentioned, the music that inspired the Battle of Blisterbark was:
Ancient Glas Ghaibhleann which is © to Vindictus/Devcat
Buuuut turn down your speakers/volume a little.
Alright, I'm out. Happy Holidays everyone, and I'll see you sometime in January maybe.
Category Story / Fantasy
Species Leopard
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 169 kB
Listed in Folders
Hey Bartan,
A very late happy new year (one month late :|)!
That aside, I like the background stories introduced of Thais, how she survived and how she became the person as she finally is. She went through a lot, and I can see at one side why it would be good to have her go through a 'worse' experience again to save her, but at one side I am happy she did not. As the circumstances she went go through were already worse enough.
And I always like how you mix some of the sadder parts with some bits of humor to lighten it a bit up. And the general jokes were also quite fun! I did not really expect the direction how all this would go, but I liked a bit of the twists in your story. Hope the world is not entirely doomed or something can still be done.
Replying to your question, how do I think it will end: as the forces seem a bit lacks in this world, I do think it can still be saved; as the hive mind ideal seems to me not really the greatest way to create peace. Which would take a lot away of the aspects of living in itself. Maybe not by one person, but maybe something can oppose Loki enough that it will stop (I hope it does not really come over as the power of 'friendship' solves everything, but it gets you really far). A less happier ending would not really be that unexpected either! Mm still a bit vague, but honestly I think you know best
I will read your other stories, will reply as soon I got around to read them! Good luck with your writing and wish you the best!
- Silent Moonlight Dragon
A very late happy new year (one month late :|)!
That aside, I like the background stories introduced of Thais, how she survived and how she became the person as she finally is. She went through a lot, and I can see at one side why it would be good to have her go through a 'worse' experience again to save her, but at one side I am happy she did not. As the circumstances she went go through were already worse enough.
And I always like how you mix some of the sadder parts with some bits of humor to lighten it a bit up. And the general jokes were also quite fun! I did not really expect the direction how all this would go, but I liked a bit of the twists in your story. Hope the world is not entirely doomed or something can still be done.
Replying to your question, how do I think it will end: as the forces seem a bit lacks in this world, I do think it can still be saved; as the hive mind ideal seems to me not really the greatest way to create peace. Which would take a lot away of the aspects of living in itself. Maybe not by one person, but maybe something can oppose Loki enough that it will stop (I hope it does not really come over as the power of 'friendship' solves everything, but it gets you really far). A less happier ending would not really be that unexpected either! Mm still a bit vague, but honestly I think you know best
I will read your other stories, will reply as soon I got around to read them! Good luck with your writing and wish you the best!
- Silent Moonlight Dragon
Hello again, Silent!
I'm glad you like the background of Thais. Sometimes, especially during the first drafts, I often wonder if it's coming out too vague or I forgot some major piece somewhere. I also question the constant switching back and forth, at the end of chapters, for a while as well. But Sectioning them off seems to help keep things organized and clear for the reader (at least, I hope).
As for Thais' background, I kept thinking to myself "I really wish I could give her a hug." The poor feline has gone through so much pain, yet I really wanted to make sure she didn't become heartless or an Ice Queen. I've seen that "Character Template" done so often, that it almost seems generic now. Yet I still wanted Thais to remain strong. Granted, she's probably just about due for a breakdown soon, but we'll see what happens.
I actually intended this one to be the last of the series. The idea was to almost make a "Bad Ending" that was very questionable. It was a bit dark, yes, whereas the protagonists seem to have failed in stopping what they thought was the main threat towards the civilians. But I wanted to make the reader ask "What about this is bad, exactly?" In a way, yes, Loki would almost force a subconscious Hive Mind that would prevent people from going against one another, yet it would support the function of keeping order without restricting civil boundaries. They would just know better than to attempt to harm or wrong to one another, without even questioning why they would. And whereas most of those infected were not aware of Loki's presence, it would even halt the idea of a cult/religion based around it. All the while, retaining the idea of free will and individual personality within every person.
Another big question that came to mind was that "Daodan Isotope" thing that was within Thais' system. The idea of the drug was that it acted like a Force Of Will for the body it was in. Be it Obedience, or just giving them the Will to Survive. Where it was a prototype, the big question was: did it actually function or not? And did it remain in Thais' system this entire time?
The third big one, and this was more of a personal one after re-reading the first draft; at the very end, why did she kick Loki out the window? I mean, Thais is a bit prideful at times, but doesn't really seem to have a temper, nor hold a grudge. Though, you could argue that she was just irked that she "Lost" (More just failed to stop Loki in time), but it really omits another factor: that Thais is not controlled by Loki any longer. Perhaps it just didn't want to grasp her and force control, but it also might be the idea of her body growing an immunity towards Loki as a whole. She could pick up and receive signals from it, but was never forced to obey them.
Those were just a few of mine when I went through it again. And maybe I might do a third installment to the series a little bit later. I'll have to answer alot of these questions myself if I ever do continue it. But for now, I'm still working on another one (no spoilers), and I have two ideas for ones after that. What I'll go with, I'm not sure yet. But I should really stop this "Shuffling between two stories" idea I ponder if it almost ruined them. Regardless, enjoy DP - Decayer and all it's madness. I'm sure you will like it.
Happy new year to you as well, Silent! And it's always a pleasure to hear from you, no matter how long it takes
I'm glad you like the background of Thais. Sometimes, especially during the first drafts, I often wonder if it's coming out too vague or I forgot some major piece somewhere. I also question the constant switching back and forth, at the end of chapters, for a while as well. But Sectioning them off seems to help keep things organized and clear for the reader (at least, I hope).
As for Thais' background, I kept thinking to myself "I really wish I could give her a hug." The poor feline has gone through so much pain, yet I really wanted to make sure she didn't become heartless or an Ice Queen. I've seen that "Character Template" done so often, that it almost seems generic now. Yet I still wanted Thais to remain strong. Granted, she's probably just about due for a breakdown soon, but we'll see what happens.
I actually intended this one to be the last of the series. The idea was to almost make a "Bad Ending" that was very questionable. It was a bit dark, yes, whereas the protagonists seem to have failed in stopping what they thought was the main threat towards the civilians. But I wanted to make the reader ask "What about this is bad, exactly?" In a way, yes, Loki would almost force a subconscious Hive Mind that would prevent people from going against one another, yet it would support the function of keeping order without restricting civil boundaries. They would just know better than to attempt to harm or wrong to one another, without even questioning why they would. And whereas most of those infected were not aware of Loki's presence, it would even halt the idea of a cult/religion based around it. All the while, retaining the idea of free will and individual personality within every person.
Another big question that came to mind was that "Daodan Isotope" thing that was within Thais' system. The idea of the drug was that it acted like a Force Of Will for the body it was in. Be it Obedience, or just giving them the Will to Survive. Where it was a prototype, the big question was: did it actually function or not? And did it remain in Thais' system this entire time?
The third big one, and this was more of a personal one after re-reading the first draft; at the very end, why did she kick Loki out the window? I mean, Thais is a bit prideful at times, but doesn't really seem to have a temper, nor hold a grudge. Though, you could argue that she was just irked that she "Lost" (More just failed to stop Loki in time), but it really omits another factor: that Thais is not controlled by Loki any longer. Perhaps it just didn't want to grasp her and force control, but it also might be the idea of her body growing an immunity towards Loki as a whole. She could pick up and receive signals from it, but was never forced to obey them.
Those were just a few of mine when I went through it again. And maybe I might do a third installment to the series a little bit later. I'll have to answer alot of these questions myself if I ever do continue it. But for now, I'm still working on another one (no spoilers), and I have two ideas for ones after that. What I'll go with, I'm not sure yet. But I should really stop this "Shuffling between two stories" idea I ponder if it almost ruined them. Regardless, enjoy DP - Decayer and all it's madness. I'm sure you will like it.
Happy new year to you as well, Silent! And it's always a pleasure to hear from you, no matter how long it takes
Hey Bartan,
I wanted to thank you a lot for your well elaborated reply, I always enjoy them a lot!
Your background work is great, and always nice to read, even if it was a bit sad this time. And it may be confusing sometimes, the switches to past and present times, however most of the 'chaptering' makes it well follow-able. And sometimes if I get confused it mostly explains itself as I read a bit further, still it combines to a great structured story. I am also curious what you have in stage further for her.
Mm.. I think it would be a good ending even if the story stopped on this point. But it is interesting to speculate about what the new Society would work out and interesting how Loki would act and will try to maintain order. And you bring up very good questions I hope seeing answered sometime (don't feel pressured :P).
It is always good to hear you having ideas. If you think quality wise your stories suffer by writing multiple stories, please take your time and make it also still enjoyable for yourself the writing! I do not think this story or Destruction Preventer are in any way ruined, albeit they are very different in a good way.
I will be trying to get around commenting on your other story this week (I can better promise nothing), or hopefully today but in summary I thought it was quite great, humor wise and story wise :) And hope I have some time to read your new one!
- Silent Moonlight Dragon
I wanted to thank you a lot for your well elaborated reply, I always enjoy them a lot!
Your background work is great, and always nice to read, even if it was a bit sad this time. And it may be confusing sometimes, the switches to past and present times, however most of the 'chaptering' makes it well follow-able. And sometimes if I get confused it mostly explains itself as I read a bit further, still it combines to a great structured story. I am also curious what you have in stage further for her.
Mm.. I think it would be a good ending even if the story stopped on this point. But it is interesting to speculate about what the new Society would work out and interesting how Loki would act and will try to maintain order. And you bring up very good questions I hope seeing answered sometime (don't feel pressured :P).
It is always good to hear you having ideas. If you think quality wise your stories suffer by writing multiple stories, please take your time and make it also still enjoyable for yourself the writing! I do not think this story or Destruction Preventer are in any way ruined, albeit they are very different in a good way.
I will be trying to get around commenting on your other story this week (I can better promise nothing), or hopefully today but in summary I thought it was quite great, humor wise and story wise :) And hope I have some time to read your new one!
- Silent Moonlight Dragon
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