It works now, Thanks for fixing it.

-thumbs up-

We both have gone through a lot of the same things in life it seems. We both lost our dads and we're both kinda at that age where we think we should have it all together, but don't. Thanks for having the bravery of coming forward and doing your story. I can only imagine how hard it must be, but I just wanted to say that it really touched me and I hope that the positivity will find a place in your life again for you to build on. :3

Thank you for sharing, lately I've been feel more lonely, incomplete as a result of that. Empty and unable to have someone to cuddle and such.

Also being a furry that is into sport especially a since I like the Australian Football League, where not many Americans understand the sport and many Australian furries are gamers or technologically minded or other stuff I know of but I'm not massively into.

I miss having people I could kick the footy with or play basketball with, but there are only a handful that are that active type. The few that do I'm too nervous to approach. Although I do like the bowling meets, sometimes it can get real competitive and I enjoy that, other times at these bowling meets I feel droughted out because there are so many.

I can socialize okay in a small group, and these I know very well or want to know better and trust them. But alot of the time it is large gathering and because I don't do much I don't have much to discuss and so they are distracted by more interesting people and start feeling creepish when I have to end up wondering between each little group to see if there is anything I can listen in one that is interesting or intrigues me and can helpfully add a word in. This usually proves unhelpful and I'm just to the side to myself on my phone, not wanting to leave since I want the company- but unable to interact in any meaningful way.

Yeah. Meeting with furries who are into sports is a bit difficult. I am not very well versed in sports either, all things considered, but I do know I really would love watching it, even if I am not very familiar with the rules of Australian rules football. It does look pretty spectacularly violent to say the least. :P I kinda wish there was somewhere I could watch it to learn, but it's not broadcast here, and streaming services don't allow me to watch it in my country, so yeah.

I also really prefer socialising in a much smaller group, because of my high levels of introversion. It just takes a lot of energy to invest in talking to people, so it's important to find somebody who is pretty similar in interests I guess.

there are some streams of games online in places or even on the afl.com.au website, it's not violent as it use to be- they are cracking down on high/rough tackles to protect players from head injuries and concussions. I'm more of a spectator to footy, but sometimes I like to just kick the ball around and stuff.

This was very interesting to read, I can relate to this. I also lost a very close family member when I was young, In fact younger than you. I've had speech problems since i was younger that still slightly linger today (I can't specifically remember going to speech therapy but my mum remembers me going.), I was good at maths and bad at writing when I was younger (Though that's kind of changed in recent years, Though writing Essays still suck.) & I've had times where I haven't been very good (Not really Depression but more Anxiety.)

As we both know, There are tough times that are going to be hard to get through but it get's better. If you keep up the hard work, You'll make something out of yourself. But don't ever think you worthless, It doesn't matter if a million people care about you or just family or friends, You matter to someone! I hope to see more of your writing. (Introspective or Creative.)

Oh I certainly have those that care about me, I just wish I had more to interact with that:
A) are near to me and can easily visit, and
B) would be active and play with me outside the online world on internet or video games.

I've had trouble maintaining friends, I lost friends in the transition between primary and secondary school, I barely made any close knit friendships in secondary school only a few I would catch up with but not much else, and university wasn't much better. As a furry at the moment my only friends are basically that of the furry world. Although in saying that my second attempt at uni I have made a close friend with a girl, she too with no real limits to conversation like I, so she knows I'm a furry, we have talked of my odd fetishes (even diapers), and that she enjoys watersports and such.

But yeah, having recently rewatched my dad's funeral just yesterday- it had me thinking who would be the ones to talk fondly of me and such at my funeral... many have lost contact with me since school (well technically not as Facebook and such, but that is indirect) and many might not even know of my death if my parents deal with the funeral, most furry friends I have might not even know or notice with my such infrequent contact anyway.

It all sounds so egotistical writing this and also a bit silly and to even think of such a thing when still young- but it's a thing that enters your mind when you have a lot of time alone.

Well look, Whenever you've lost a loved one, You're always going to miss them. Most of the time, You'll think of fond memories of them but Sometimes you'll be upset about them being gone. It happens. Trust me, I've missed my older brother Jamie since he died of Prostate Cancer on the 23th of June, 2008. If it wasn't for him, I might not be the person I am today. I wished he was still alive when Collingwood won the premiership in 2010. He would have really enjoyed it.

Well I was less talking about dad's funeral but more how the funeral made me think what my funeral might be like. But now you mention it, as I was watching the funeral I had a mix of emotions- wishing I had could talk at the funeral and discuss how it had affected me, looking about dad himself (since he did take pride in his work and he did have times he travel internationally and didn't see him much), relit memories I did have of him, but then I also had some negative reactions based on knowing where I am now. Many of the friends of dad mentioned how he felt such pride about me and my brother and that we would go far, I mean I don't know if that was them overselling his pride and such but it had me feeling guilty I had not done more and don't have myself a proper plan for the future (sure I'm doing a uni course, but where to from there?).
It didn't help that I did break a death bed promise with dad. I was completing the 'Duke of Edinburgh Award' Silver level at the time he died and he wanted me to finish it, but so much stuff was happening with VCE and uni and other stuff that I can't even remember anymore that it got to the point I was too old to complete the Silver level of the Award.

Trust me, There will be people there that you currently know and people who you'll meet along the line who will be able to do that task when that happens. (Hopefully a long, long time from now.) I think your father would have understood the effect that his death would have had on you. You'll find something after uni with the degree your going for and I think your father would be still proud of you.

well he had depression and was rather quiet too when he had to deal with routine mundane tasks, he liked a challenge, and even got to see NASA.

also keep in mind, his dead was around easter of 2009 and I was trying to avoid acknowledging his death as an issue, even though I had been getting closer to him then I ever had before before his passing when I was taking up photography (a real passion that dad had himself) to try and complete this Duke of Edinburgh Award that I never ended up finishing.

err.. death not dead