
Every time I fought with someone, every time I said terrible words and hurt as they hurt me...I wasn't getting stronger. I was growing weaker, losing parts of myself. I wasn't empowered, I was angry, I was miserable..I was scared. Every fight, every conflict, every anger and bitter resentment took a piece of myself until the cracks could be seen all over.
I will never look back on these moments fondly. I will never believe they were for the better or that they made me a person for the better. The future is you and me because it is here now. I hope when you look back, you will not regret but smile and hope forward.
I'm still growing, and just like you I'm only expanding as a person. Always will. I ask you however as my friend, as a good person...do your best today. Do your best tomorrow to show love, patience, understanding, and empathy to those that have chosen not to. For those of us who are so lost, it's a beacon, and it's dark where we come from.
I will never look back on these moments fondly. I will never believe they were for the better or that they made me a person for the better. The future is you and me because it is here now. I hope when you look back, you will not regret but smile and hope forward.
I'm still growing, and just like you I'm only expanding as a person. Always will. I ask you however as my friend, as a good person...do your best today. Do your best tomorrow to show love, patience, understanding, and empathy to those that have chosen not to. For those of us who are so lost, it's a beacon, and it's dark where we come from.
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I alternate with yourself that any one individual can become a better person without the need for conflict. I believe regret is often the product of such things which can be a powerful tool of renewal, but all the same not facing down that dual sided sword is a grander experience. I could not justify my actions, only move on from them.
I'd disagree that regret has to be involved; For most things, even the bad things, I don't regret, because I would not be the same person I am now without having had those experiences. To wish the past to be different is to wish you didn't exist, because you would be a different person without having had your experiences.
To a large degree, in fact, the building of character comes from weathering the bad and coming out stronger for it. It took me a long time to understand what was meant by "it's building character" when a kid experiences something painful, but really, those experiences build your resilience to pain in the future.
You can see this in those people who have had a deficiency of suffering; they are hyper-sensitive and offended by pretty much everything.
Perhaps I am not understanding the nature of your actions though.
To a large degree, in fact, the building of character comes from weathering the bad and coming out stronger for it. It took me a long time to understand what was meant by "it's building character" when a kid experiences something painful, but really, those experiences build your resilience to pain in the future.
You can see this in those people who have had a deficiency of suffering; they are hyper-sensitive and offended by pretty much everything.
Perhaps I am not understanding the nature of your actions though.
Well you would be right that regret needn't be involved but it can and may be regardless for some. Yet at the matter of this all, this is advocation in opposition of hostility and aggresion. The bad times, they will come, but how we choose to face them is what matters. Do we grow charecter through reflection and resilience or violence and lashing back?
I am not advising ignorance of form through conflict, I am suggesting that when it comes to handling harassment or conflict, that we do our best to choose a strength that is not built on numbing pain or reflecting it, but rising above it and even transmuting it into something that grows us and others. I do not regret me, I regret the pain I gave to others to achieve me.
We shall grow regardless, but my belief in building character does not advocate learning love through hate, or finding inner peace after fist fights. Weathering the storm takes many shapes, do you understand?
I am not advising ignorance of form through conflict, I am suggesting that when it comes to handling harassment or conflict, that we do our best to choose a strength that is not built on numbing pain or reflecting it, but rising above it and even transmuting it into something that grows us and others. I do not regret me, I regret the pain I gave to others to achieve me.
We shall grow regardless, but my belief in building character does not advocate learning love through hate, or finding inner peace after fist fights. Weathering the storm takes many shapes, do you understand?
Being honest with yourself I am uncertain where to go from here, as the context is tied to the original post meaning. I can only suggest perhaps reading both the original post message as well my responses once more? I apologize I cannot be more forward or on point at this time!
I think I can kinda understand. I myself was on a bad path once, a path I foresaw the results of, and tried to turn it around when the opportunity arose.
Despite my current pacifistic values, my temperament is that of a vicious combatant. It is a demon I've taken some effort to tame.
Considering the psychological effects of harming people, I think I should be glad I changed when I did.
Despite my current pacifistic values, my temperament is that of a vicious combatant. It is a demon I've taken some effort to tame.
Considering the psychological effects of harming people, I think I should be glad I changed when I did.
It sounds like a bully had an epiphany.
It is so strange. Bullies are among the most pathetc and miserable individuals, often. Broken beings who resort to belittling others because they cannot elevate themselves. That is, at least, the case for so many of them. Thus, from an outside perspective, it is easy to pity them.
But once you do interact with them, hatred rise. Hatred burns. And all that pity melts away to give way for a satisfaction at the idea of their pain. One understand that their low self-esteem and pain is retribution and that they deserve every bit of misfortune they encounter. In fact, you crave for their arrogant image to shatter so that the tables may be turned. You start fantasizing about it. And the more they harm you and try to elevate themselves, the darker one's desires.
And then there is the paradox.
Those individuals who are empty. Who are fundamentally broken in a way that the sane mind can barely understand. Those who hurt others because it is the only thing that makes them feel anything and thus, never become aware of their own miserable existence. They only care for the thrill and never become self-aware. Born in a position of power and privilege, they become even worse, they become convinced that only power matters, that only their thrill matters, and they make the leap to full-fledged psychopaths, sociopaths, to what one can qualify as "evil". And then, they do terrible things.
Measures of grey and black, one might say.
Of course, I might have gotten the theme completely wrong and have theorized about something unrelated. I dunno. If so, I apologize. My mind like to wander.
It is so strange. Bullies are among the most pathetc and miserable individuals, often. Broken beings who resort to belittling others because they cannot elevate themselves. That is, at least, the case for so many of them. Thus, from an outside perspective, it is easy to pity them.
But once you do interact with them, hatred rise. Hatred burns. And all that pity melts away to give way for a satisfaction at the idea of their pain. One understand that their low self-esteem and pain is retribution and that they deserve every bit of misfortune they encounter. In fact, you crave for their arrogant image to shatter so that the tables may be turned. You start fantasizing about it. And the more they harm you and try to elevate themselves, the darker one's desires.
And then there is the paradox.
Those individuals who are empty. Who are fundamentally broken in a way that the sane mind can barely understand. Those who hurt others because it is the only thing that makes them feel anything and thus, never become aware of their own miserable existence. They only care for the thrill and never become self-aware. Born in a position of power and privilege, they become even worse, they become convinced that only power matters, that only their thrill matters, and they make the leap to full-fledged psychopaths, sociopaths, to what one can qualify as "evil". And then, they do terrible things.
Measures of grey and black, one might say.
Of course, I might have gotten the theme completely wrong and have theorized about something unrelated. I dunno. If so, I apologize. My mind like to wander.
Oh no, I find you have an interesting commentary on such things, and actually I believe you are on point that it is indeed an epiphany or some sort similar. This as well was tied to a post that further evaluated and discussed some of my reasoning and stance on such thoughts, which can be found on my Patreon page!
We walk a fine line, and there is a truth to be learned at the end of the day, or at least one of them. We live in a world where there are individuals unable to comprehend their own suffering, or find empathy for the pain they cause, so are we to justify that existence and fulfill pain in return? To what end do we justify the wishing of pain, emptiness, and loss to another? Does our faith border on the expectation all individuals share the same potential for harm on the grounds of possibility? Is it our ego, our ability to disregard them as a person and thus beneath the threshold of feeling? In that same thought I ask if we are any different when we allow ourselves the capacity to reason threat before support.
I say there is a fine line because we have the habit of " Justice " " Vengeance " this wrapped gift of gratification that borders on the fulfillment of somehow feeling validation by exchanging force. It's easily to retaliate, and it's easy to become the bully in return, but alas this is perspective on social interaction than physical harm, etc., etc.
I'm glad you actually took the time as it further brings me to think on such things.
We walk a fine line, and there is a truth to be learned at the end of the day, or at least one of them. We live in a world where there are individuals unable to comprehend their own suffering, or find empathy for the pain they cause, so are we to justify that existence and fulfill pain in return? To what end do we justify the wishing of pain, emptiness, and loss to another? Does our faith border on the expectation all individuals share the same potential for harm on the grounds of possibility? Is it our ego, our ability to disregard them as a person and thus beneath the threshold of feeling? In that same thought I ask if we are any different when we allow ourselves the capacity to reason threat before support.
I say there is a fine line because we have the habit of " Justice " " Vengeance " this wrapped gift of gratification that borders on the fulfillment of somehow feeling validation by exchanging force. It's easily to retaliate, and it's easy to become the bully in return, but alas this is perspective on social interaction than physical harm, etc., etc.
I'm glad you actually took the time as it further brings me to think on such things.
And it is indeed interesting. I am really, really glad we can have those thoughts.
The paradox of violence is one I find particularly interesting.
In an ideal world, violence is unneeded. But conflict is a quintessential part of existence. And contrary to the belief of many, malice, hatred, or even lack of empathy is not in any way forced to be part of it. Conflict is simply born out of need. Some of the most tragic conflicts are born even when violence is resorted to as a last resort.
An example where conflict cannot be avoided and where no amount of pacifism, reason, or friendship will avail: a situation where a rare ressource is needed by many and all have the desire to live, with none having a greater claim to the ressource. Conflict is inevitable in such a case. There is no need for malice or hatred, though some will resort to it because they are unable to accept that such an "unfair" situation may possibly arise. They will fight because they all want to live and because they all have an equal right to it. And thus, in a situation where no other element can resolve the situation, violence will be the dividing factor.
Then there is the matter of broken individuals. It is a sad truth that not everyone can be redeemed. There are individuals who are fundamentally broken. It may be by their environment, by their decisions, by their experiences. But there is a reason the words "psychopath" and "sociopath" are a thing. There are such souls who are simply incapable of empathy or have a twisted idea of it or simply believe that all means justify their cause.
When faced with such individuals, there comes the dilemna of violence. It is not always possible to stop such individuals from causing harm except by using force. And while in an slightly less but still ideal-ish world it would be possible to stop all such individuals through non-lethal manners and imprisonment, realistically, there is sometime not the time to do so. Or people lack any other method than using force. When the lives of many are on the line, there are some who will take the life of the one who threaten as to prevent a greater tragedy. Maybe in the future, their decision may be doubted. But given the circumstances, their means, what they had, and the urgency, is the situation truly as black and white as some may think?
Of course, this bring forth the greatest irony of it all: just as the blind pacifist who thinks violence is never justified is a fool, so is the cynical who believe conflict should be embraced.
Conflict is inevitable. This does not mean it needs to define existence. Sapient beings have rejected Nature's law of "kill or be killed", seeking a different path. That this path suffers from imperfection and problems due to the nature of reality does not mean the journey is worthless. An imperfect result is not a worthless one. And it is not because one needs or choose to bring down the sword and gun that they need to be defined by them.
There is ugliness inside the soul, an ugly taint of selfishness within Nature itself. But life need not be defined by it. To deny the ability to overcome this selfish temptation, to live with empathy even in conflict, is to deny what we are too.
Too many times, people attribute to malice what is actually born of stupidity, ignorance, or simple innocent mistakes. And they likewise condemn those who strike in hatred too much, forgetting why and where this hatred come from in the first place.
The paradox of violence is one I find particularly interesting.
In an ideal world, violence is unneeded. But conflict is a quintessential part of existence. And contrary to the belief of many, malice, hatred, or even lack of empathy is not in any way forced to be part of it. Conflict is simply born out of need. Some of the most tragic conflicts are born even when violence is resorted to as a last resort.
An example where conflict cannot be avoided and where no amount of pacifism, reason, or friendship will avail: a situation where a rare ressource is needed by many and all have the desire to live, with none having a greater claim to the ressource. Conflict is inevitable in such a case. There is no need for malice or hatred, though some will resort to it because they are unable to accept that such an "unfair" situation may possibly arise. They will fight because they all want to live and because they all have an equal right to it. And thus, in a situation where no other element can resolve the situation, violence will be the dividing factor.
Then there is the matter of broken individuals. It is a sad truth that not everyone can be redeemed. There are individuals who are fundamentally broken. It may be by their environment, by their decisions, by their experiences. But there is a reason the words "psychopath" and "sociopath" are a thing. There are such souls who are simply incapable of empathy or have a twisted idea of it or simply believe that all means justify their cause.
When faced with such individuals, there comes the dilemna of violence. It is not always possible to stop such individuals from causing harm except by using force. And while in an slightly less but still ideal-ish world it would be possible to stop all such individuals through non-lethal manners and imprisonment, realistically, there is sometime not the time to do so. Or people lack any other method than using force. When the lives of many are on the line, there are some who will take the life of the one who threaten as to prevent a greater tragedy. Maybe in the future, their decision may be doubted. But given the circumstances, their means, what they had, and the urgency, is the situation truly as black and white as some may think?
Of course, this bring forth the greatest irony of it all: just as the blind pacifist who thinks violence is never justified is a fool, so is the cynical who believe conflict should be embraced.
Conflict is inevitable. This does not mean it needs to define existence. Sapient beings have rejected Nature's law of "kill or be killed", seeking a different path. That this path suffers from imperfection and problems due to the nature of reality does not mean the journey is worthless. An imperfect result is not a worthless one. And it is not because one needs or choose to bring down the sword and gun that they need to be defined by them.
There is ugliness inside the soul, an ugly taint of selfishness within Nature itself. But life need not be defined by it. To deny the ability to overcome this selfish temptation, to live with empathy even in conflict, is to deny what we are too.
Too many times, people attribute to malice what is actually born of stupidity, ignorance, or simple innocent mistakes. And they likewise condemn those who strike in hatred too much, forgetting why and where this hatred come from in the first place.
Oh by all means, violence is to come as is conflict. The elements of life shall rise chaos, and chaos is a tide as any other form , rising and lowering by need, demand and understanding. Yet the purpose of these writings is to not give falsehood that pacifism or any other form of response for that matter, can remain an absolute. No, no, when one deals with absolutes, that stagnation breeds a breaking point, and there are many forms to Pacifism as there is to violence. There are no single roads, and there are no blanket receptions to every moment. That is why it is the moment, otherwise what be of it? It is a...consideration, yes, best to put it!
I cannot advocate the ignorance of antagonism, sweep under the rug the clashing of philosophy and the dangers that come of such prideful interactions, and I certainly will never deny that by our nature, we do not see this as one world but many, which will always lead to a spectrum of response, good and bad. As it has once been said, for some, peace is war, and progress no matter the innovation, carries weight in both directions. I do not ask for belief in a single response as perfection, for that is a subjective truth to every individual.
I only ask that when the time comes, and it always will for us all, that we face down those that warrant our response and force, that we are not striking from vengeance, or that those we oppose, we do not see beneath the realm of humanity. You see this is a conversation we can have for the ages because often times we shall lead on the discussion to extremes. " Well what if the person has a knife and comes for you? What do you do then?! " By god then you defend yourself and if so, use the knife! I only state that we not see each and every individual as the one with the potential to hold the knife, and that when the choice is made, it is not made from anger, madness, or despair, but of necessity. With that said, I lower the level in complexity to simple interaction. Which if I may be crude a moment, if someone calls you an asshole, think of what those words mean to you, how they interact with your worth and determine you as a person. Do you call the man asshole back and begin arguments and so forth?
It's the difference between understanding a man of crime was harmed or killed, or vocalizing your pleasure in seeing their suffering or death. even being a part of it. The only difference then between the two is one has acted, the other wishes to act. Do we justify that?
Such things as that! I must say I quite enjoy your thoughts and views on these matters and my apologies if at any point I have misunderstood yourself and your points.
I cannot advocate the ignorance of antagonism, sweep under the rug the clashing of philosophy and the dangers that come of such prideful interactions, and I certainly will never deny that by our nature, we do not see this as one world but many, which will always lead to a spectrum of response, good and bad. As it has once been said, for some, peace is war, and progress no matter the innovation, carries weight in both directions. I do not ask for belief in a single response as perfection, for that is a subjective truth to every individual.
I only ask that when the time comes, and it always will for us all, that we face down those that warrant our response and force, that we are not striking from vengeance, or that those we oppose, we do not see beneath the realm of humanity. You see this is a conversation we can have for the ages because often times we shall lead on the discussion to extremes. " Well what if the person has a knife and comes for you? What do you do then?! " By god then you defend yourself and if so, use the knife! I only state that we not see each and every individual as the one with the potential to hold the knife, and that when the choice is made, it is not made from anger, madness, or despair, but of necessity. With that said, I lower the level in complexity to simple interaction. Which if I may be crude a moment, if someone calls you an asshole, think of what those words mean to you, how they interact with your worth and determine you as a person. Do you call the man asshole back and begin arguments and so forth?
It's the difference between understanding a man of crime was harmed or killed, or vocalizing your pleasure in seeing their suffering or death. even being a part of it. The only difference then between the two is one has acted, the other wishes to act. Do we justify that?
Such things as that! I must say I quite enjoy your thoughts and views on these matters and my apologies if at any point I have misunderstood yourself and your points.
It is okay. It is why it is good to elaborate and clarify when challenged rather than just dismiss. I greatly enjoy those interactions!
I think I did state all of my relevent thoughts regarding this particular piece of work and this path of conversation though. I'll definitely bring up more thoughts as more works are posted though.
Always nice to bounce around ideas with you.
I think I did state all of my relevent thoughts regarding this particular piece of work and this path of conversation though. I'll definitely bring up more thoughts as more works are posted though.
Always nice to bounce around ideas with you.
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