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London, 1955. Hammer are looking for the right person for the right role in a film about werewolves. Only one person can fit the bill ...
Another in a long and irritating sequence of 365-word tales.
Once more, this is inspired by
poetigress and the Thursday Prompt, with additional input from Wolfie's little helper.
I never told anyone beforehand, but I was once asked to do a part in a film.
Seriously. Scout's Honour!
It was a horror, of course, and they didn't want to spend a fortune on make-up for the big bad wolf. Naturally they asked me. I mean, how many werewolves live within tube distance of Elstree? God bless the Northern Line.
So off I went, my fur immaculate, my clothes pressed. Into the make-up caravan I went, with a whoosh of "STAAR!" ... and ended up to my neck in Bob Martin flea shampoo bubbles in a tin bath, pummelled by an East German bodybuilder named Helga Neumann.
Great.
Nigel, our director, was a drama queen. Should an actor fluff a line, he'd happily act as if he was having a stroke. Seriously. He'd swoon and gasp and groan until someone placed a chair under his bum and wave a stripy tea-cloth at his face until he recovered and flapped his hands about like a lah-luh.
When he saw me that first time he went really quiet, then rubbed his hands together and clucked something about not needing prosthetics. I asked one of the stage hands what that meant. I don't know if I ended up feeling hurt or proud.
And, gawd, my big scene was mortifying. A nude shot in my first ever film! The werewolf (me!) came out of the shadows and the audience saw his furry back and tail. As I wasn't strictly covered by the Decency Code they said I'd be fine. I had to snarl and growl too.
The lead actress was supposed to scream and swoon. She said I was a fluffy sweetie and kept staring at my -- well, you know what, and looking at me with a half-smile. She told me I could scare her anytime. Strange lady.
At least the camera only took my back. They didn't even show my face.
When the film was released and my friends saw it, they all laughed. No-one believed it was me -- all fierce and scary. I suppose they thought they knew better.
... but when the credits rolled, they saw my name, as large as life.
Another in a long and irritating sequence of 365-word tales.
Once more, this is inspired by
poetigress and the Thursday Prompt, with additional input from Wolfie's little helper.oOoI never told anyone beforehand, but I was once asked to do a part in a film.
Seriously. Scout's Honour!
It was a horror, of course, and they didn't want to spend a fortune on make-up for the big bad wolf. Naturally they asked me. I mean, how many werewolves live within tube distance of Elstree? God bless the Northern Line.
So off I went, my fur immaculate, my clothes pressed. Into the make-up caravan I went, with a whoosh of "STAAR!" ... and ended up to my neck in Bob Martin flea shampoo bubbles in a tin bath, pummelled by an East German bodybuilder named Helga Neumann.
Great.
Nigel, our director, was a drama queen. Should an actor fluff a line, he'd happily act as if he was having a stroke. Seriously. He'd swoon and gasp and groan until someone placed a chair under his bum and wave a stripy tea-cloth at his face until he recovered and flapped his hands about like a lah-luh.
When he saw me that first time he went really quiet, then rubbed his hands together and clucked something about not needing prosthetics. I asked one of the stage hands what that meant. I don't know if I ended up feeling hurt or proud.
And, gawd, my big scene was mortifying. A nude shot in my first ever film! The werewolf (me!) came out of the shadows and the audience saw his furry back and tail. As I wasn't strictly covered by the Decency Code they said I'd be fine. I had to snarl and growl too.
The lead actress was supposed to scream and swoon. She said I was a fluffy sweetie and kept staring at my -- well, you know what, and looking at me with a half-smile. She told me I could scare her anytime. Strange lady.
At least the camera only took my back. They didn't even show my face.
When the film was released and my friends saw it, they all laughed. No-one believed it was me -- all fierce and scary. I suppose they thought they knew better.
... but when the credits rolled, they saw my name, as large as life.
oOo
Category Story / Portraits
Species Wolf
Size 119 x 120px
File Size 339 B
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