Darkwoods - Intro
by Zyca
Anthro Artist
10 years ago
Righto! So I decided to start writing a story I had in mind for a while which I thought would be a decent exercise for my literacy and creativity and decided to publish it here while I was at it.
Now this isn't exactly a Furry story, though there are a couple elements here and there as it progresses.
So here's a summary of the plot (as in the first 1% of it):
'Laurent Varlyle, a rather lazy arts student that is born into a wealthy lineage in the US has just turned 18, though his parents are quite eager to introduce him to business and the British culture which his blood originates from. The job of being a surveyor didn't appeal to him, though an unexpected turn of events would bring on a dramatic change to his view of life...'
"Ugh, damn it...", after repeated attempts, it didn't seem like the car was gonna break loose from the ditch it was in.
He pulled out a smartphone from the right pocket on his jeans and typed in the number for local authorities, then putting it against his ear.
"Awwwh come OOOOON" he moaned upon realizing there was no service in his area and put the phone back in his pocket. After a short pause, Laurent came to terms with the situation and opened the door, sighing irritatedly as he stepped out from the hatchback. He mumbled angrily while putting on a pair of gloves, observing the surrounding terrain. "Alright, so I go straight ahead and I should-... Wait...", just now did Laurent figure out that he drove the wrong way as there weren't pinetrees to the sides of the road he was on when arriving at the lumbermill. "An hour and a half of driving just to find out I took the wrong path and got stuck in the middle of the woods, great ", he said to himself while drawing his phone out again. He opened the calculator and got an estimate of the distance he would have to walk in order to get back, after pressing the = button he let out a heavy sigh, shoving the phone back into his pocket and head onwards, back the way he came.
After a good hour of walking nonstop Laurent was already starting to ache in his feet, not being used to walking on a rough road such as this one in the middle of the night. The road didn't seem as if it would ever end and fatigue was rapidly turning into an issue. He looked upwards, relieving the strain in his neck from facing down constantly and before his gaze lied a sheet of luster covering the night sky. Laurent admired the dazzling stars and the ever radiant milky-way, he couldn't help but smile at how the view reminded him of home back at Rhode Island. As he comprehended the sight for a good moment, a sudden howl echoing across the forest disturbed him. Laurent froze in his steps as the spine-chilling sound hit him, he turned around to look at a hill in the distance lit by the moonlight...
"Wait, weren't timber wolves hunted to extinction centuries ago in the area?" While looking at the hill he noticed a movement which caused even the trees to shift and oddly enough, that 'thing' was heading towards him. The color washed from Laurent's face as he began taking a few steps forward, then increasing his pace before sprinting and wheezing across the road.
Paranoia clouded his train of thought, he couldn't think of anything else but what he witnessed and that he should keep running ahead. Laurent was adding more force into his step and before he paid any heed to it, he tripped.
Laurent immediately tried to restore his footing, reaching his hand out only to feel... Cobblestone? He felt around the ground and looked to his side, an old path led from the road out into the woods and he could notice a faint light in the distance. Rising back on his feet he began to turn towards the woods, summoning all his will to face the unknown as he decided there would be better chances at escaping whatever appeared to be chasing him if he went to the source of the light. He stepped onto the trail and began running laboriously towards the light.
The sound of branches parting echoed between the trees, growing louder with each passing second as Laurent finally came to a halt, now facing an imposing, black gate. Beyond it he could catch the glimpse of a... Mansion? "Out here in the woods?", he thought to himself. The architecture was obviously of Victorian era, though light from the windows and lit candles at the entranceway implied it was still occupied. He scrambled to get a proper hold of the gate and climbing it was an impressive endeavor in itself compared to his earlier 'exercise'.
Once Laurent finally was able to drop over the edge, he proceeded to compose himself but then... He could clearly hear a heavy breathing, almost human coming from behind him. Slowly turning around to look behind him, he could see an enormous figure beside the gate, standing at least 7 feet tall! Those glowing, amber eyes lining its obscure visage were glaring right at him with unknown emotion. Laurent was paralyzed with fear, only being aware of the being that appeared to be preparing for a jump.
"Get a hold of yourself, Laurent!" he said to himself, forcing himself awake from the trance and almost instantly darted in the direction of the mansion's door. He jumped over the steps leading to the entryway and hurriedly knocked at it with the lion shaped door-knocker. A loud "thump" was heard from the direction behind him, he turned his head over his shoulder and spotted the ostensibly humanoid figure and its amber eyes, kneeling down and facing him. "Click!"
Now this isn't exactly a Furry story, though there are a couple elements here and there as it progresses.
So here's a summary of the plot (as in the first 1% of it):
'Laurent Varlyle, a rather lazy arts student that is born into a wealthy lineage in the US has just turned 18, though his parents are quite eager to introduce him to business and the British culture which his blood originates from. The job of being a surveyor didn't appeal to him, though an unexpected turn of events would bring on a dramatic change to his view of life...'
"Ugh, damn it...", after repeated attempts, it didn't seem like the car was gonna break loose from the ditch it was in.
He pulled out a smartphone from the right pocket on his jeans and typed in the number for local authorities, then putting it against his ear.
"Awwwh come OOOOON" he moaned upon realizing there was no service in his area and put the phone back in his pocket. After a short pause, Laurent came to terms with the situation and opened the door, sighing irritatedly as he stepped out from the hatchback. He mumbled angrily while putting on a pair of gloves, observing the surrounding terrain. "Alright, so I go straight ahead and I should-... Wait...", just now did Laurent figure out that he drove the wrong way as there weren't pinetrees to the sides of the road he was on when arriving at the lumbermill. "An hour and a half of driving just to find out I took the wrong path and got stuck in the middle of the woods, great ", he said to himself while drawing his phone out again. He opened the calculator and got an estimate of the distance he would have to walk in order to get back, after pressing the = button he let out a heavy sigh, shoving the phone back into his pocket and head onwards, back the way he came.
After a good hour of walking nonstop Laurent was already starting to ache in his feet, not being used to walking on a rough road such as this one in the middle of the night. The road didn't seem as if it would ever end and fatigue was rapidly turning into an issue. He looked upwards, relieving the strain in his neck from facing down constantly and before his gaze lied a sheet of luster covering the night sky. Laurent admired the dazzling stars and the ever radiant milky-way, he couldn't help but smile at how the view reminded him of home back at Rhode Island. As he comprehended the sight for a good moment, a sudden howl echoing across the forest disturbed him. Laurent froze in his steps as the spine-chilling sound hit him, he turned around to look at a hill in the distance lit by the moonlight...
"Wait, weren't timber wolves hunted to extinction centuries ago in the area?" While looking at the hill he noticed a movement which caused even the trees to shift and oddly enough, that 'thing' was heading towards him. The color washed from Laurent's face as he began taking a few steps forward, then increasing his pace before sprinting and wheezing across the road.
Paranoia clouded his train of thought, he couldn't think of anything else but what he witnessed and that he should keep running ahead. Laurent was adding more force into his step and before he paid any heed to it, he tripped.
Laurent immediately tried to restore his footing, reaching his hand out only to feel... Cobblestone? He felt around the ground and looked to his side, an old path led from the road out into the woods and he could notice a faint light in the distance. Rising back on his feet he began to turn towards the woods, summoning all his will to face the unknown as he decided there would be better chances at escaping whatever appeared to be chasing him if he went to the source of the light. He stepped onto the trail and began running laboriously towards the light.
The sound of branches parting echoed between the trees, growing louder with each passing second as Laurent finally came to a halt, now facing an imposing, black gate. Beyond it he could catch the glimpse of a... Mansion? "Out here in the woods?", he thought to himself. The architecture was obviously of Victorian era, though light from the windows and lit candles at the entranceway implied it was still occupied. He scrambled to get a proper hold of the gate and climbing it was an impressive endeavor in itself compared to his earlier 'exercise'.
Once Laurent finally was able to drop over the edge, he proceeded to compose himself but then... He could clearly hear a heavy breathing, almost human coming from behind him. Slowly turning around to look behind him, he could see an enormous figure beside the gate, standing at least 7 feet tall! Those glowing, amber eyes lining its obscure visage were glaring right at him with unknown emotion. Laurent was paralyzed with fear, only being aware of the being that appeared to be preparing for a jump.
"Get a hold of yourself, Laurent!" he said to himself, forcing himself awake from the trance and almost instantly darted in the direction of the mansion's door. He jumped over the steps leading to the entryway and hurriedly knocked at it with the lion shaped door-knocker. A loud "thump" was heard from the direction behind him, he turned his head over his shoulder and spotted the ostensibly humanoid figure and its amber eyes, kneeling down and facing him. "Click!"
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Check your grammar: " come OOOOON' he moaned" needs a comma right after OOOOON, among other small errors.
I also enjoy that you've attempted to have the character talk to himself, as many characters would, but don't put too many quotation marks; place the dialogue, if short, in italics, or have no separation between internal dialogue and the rest of the paragraph altogether. The presence of distinguishing marks, or lack thereof, can change the feel of a story dramatically (see the author Cormac McArthy's works for an example).
The presence of smartphones and calculators rather date this, don't you think? Nothing wrong with the setting being modern day, but the summery of your story (wealthy lineage, British blood) rather lends itself to a story dating back to the 19th or 20th centuries.
Otherwise, the story is somewhat compelling and I would continue to read more if you were to continue the story. Don't stop writing!
As for the summary, Laur's connection with the financial world is meant to better establish him as a deep character, his philosophy then changes as the story progresses and hopefully increases his appeal and makes him more engaging to the reader. His genetic origins is, however, significant to his later role in the overall plot.