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In the Family Way
© 2013 by Walter D. Reimer
(Characters courtesy of
Major Matt Mason and 
EOCostello
The story of the duCleds relationship and marriage can be found on the Spontoon Island website, in the following stories:
Inocenta Until Proven Guilty
Valentine's Dazed
The I Do's of March
Art by
TheTiedTigress
______________________________________________
Part 2.
Inocenta:
Pouf!
If this is the how you say, heart of the Texas, Inocenta say you can be welcome to have it. Madre de Dios, it is hot and it make Inocenta feel the light in the head.
Poor Leslie-puppy, he look the muy distressed at the engines of the aeroplane. (The aeroplane, it is part of the extension of the bigness of Leslie-puppy, as Inocenta say before.) The man at the airport, he is the coyote, and he speak en la Español, as if he think Inocenta not understand the tongue of her mothers.
The man he is saying that his sister’s husband is a drunk and a no-good. Inocenta keep her muzzle shut and her ears open, the better to learn what it is the man says.
Ay de mi!
Inocenta not know one could DO that with a tail.
Inocenta must ask her Leslie-puppy. This was no mention in the convent school.
The brother-of-law he is a coyote as well, but he look the hanging-dog at being woken up. He stagger, as well, but Leslie-puppy look the relieved when he start working on the engine.
Leslie-puppy ask Inocenta if she is hungry, and we go to small cantina named ‘Cowpuncher Joe’s.’
Inocenta wonder sometimes about the Americanos – who want to punch the cows? They no do anything wrong, Inocenta thinks. It is bad to treat the herbivore this way, she further think.
The cantina she is the neat and clean inside, and the food smells muy bueno! We have the seats and begin to look at menus.
While we read the menus one man watch us, and finally he ask Leslie-puppy, “Hey, pardner, ya’ll ain’t from ‘round here, aintcha?”
***
Les:
I looked the guy over for a second. Lean cougar, looked about ten or so years older than me. Hard-bitten was the phrase that leaped to mind, rancher probably. “No,” I said, “my wife and I are just passing through.”
“Yankee, aintcha?”
I sighed a bit. The accent is a giveaway, and I hoped that we wouldn’t have any trouble. “Yes.”
“Well,” the cat drawled, giving a few others in the place the eye, “ya can rest easy, pardner. East, West, whatever – we’re all in this together, ain’t we? That guy in Washington’s gonna ruin us all.”
I nodded. Even way out on Spontoon I’d heard about it. I hoped Uncle Pete had managed to protect the business.
The guy leaned back a bit in his chair and his tail swished about. “Y’know, son, we got a little thing going here - open bet, ya might call it. You look like you’re keepin’ a fine appetite.”
“That’s right.”
The cougar grinned. “Up for a little wager, then?”
“Go on.” I was intrigued, and Inocenta looked interested.
“It’s like this – ya eat a steak and all the trimmin’s in an hour, and it’s free.”
I resisted the urge to lick my lips. A nice steak, direct from the middle of cattle country? And they give me an hour to eat it? Lead me to it!
“And if I don’t eat it in an hour?”
“Twenty bucks.”
“That’s a lot for a steak.”
“It’s good steak. Ya’ll interested?”
I glanced at Inocenta and felt my machismo start to rise. I can do justice to a steak.
“You’re on.”
The cougar grinned and yelled in the direction of the kitchen, “Hey Gladys! Set up El Gigante! How ya’ll want it?”
“Medium rare.”
I started to ask myself what I was getting into.
***
Inocenta:
Inocenta order the fine chile relleños and the cooked zucchini blossoms while Leslie-puppy wait for the one they call El Gigante.
Ay de mi! The cook she bring out the huge steak – Inocenta think it must weight the five pound or more - with potatoes, how it is said, fried in the French, the nice fresh salad, and put the plates down in front of my Leslie-puppy.
“Okay, pardner,” says the cougar, “ya’ll got an hour, starting – now!”
Leslie-puppy smile at his Inocenta and pick up the knife and the fork.
Inocenta think Leslie-puppy may have the more than he can have chew bitten off.
After the fifteen minutes, Leslie-puppy have the third of the steakie eaten.
After the thirty minutes, Leslie-puppy have half the steak eaten and his ears go droopy.
Poor Leslie-puppy; after the forty-five minutes he can eat no more. I reach under the table and rub his poor swollen tummy. It no kick at my paw, like the strong puppy-fawn does.
***
Les:
Urp.
I feel – overstuffed, like a Thanksgiving turkey, or worse, like one of those balloons you see in Gnu York on Thanksgiving Day.
I paid up, though, as the other diners expressed either sympathy or amusement at my plight.
Wouldn’t be the first time I was played for a sucker, but unlike that time in Cairo it didn’t end up costing me anything more than twenty dollars. My escapade in Cairo cost a lot more, with the option of jail time.
Egyptia?
Yeah, he did.
Both of them, actually.
After lunch, Inocenta and I took a brief walk in the afternoon sun. I had to walk off some of the lead weight that was sitting in my stomach.
***
Inocenta:
We take a short walk after the lunch and go back to the airport, where the coyote is finishing up with his tools and bits of this and that. “Hallo!” says Inocenta. “Have you accomplished the servicing of the aeroplane?”
The coyote he look at Leslie-puppy, and the Leslie-puppy blush. Inocenta know why – my darling Leslie-puppy is the embarrassed at the Birchie-craft needing the servicing so soon after leaving the Los Antelopes.
As the aeroplane is fueled, the man walk away and as he go he make the MUY bad remark about Inocenta.
I give the coyote a kick under his shaggy tail, and he begin to run.
Pouf! Even as with child Inocenta may be, yet the deerie speed is the very much of the ease of the match for the puppy.
I chase the coyote from the airport, kicking him when I get close, until he run out into the road. He yelp and have to throw himself into cactus, as he is nearly hit by the family of bears in the Ford automobile.
Inocenta walk back to the airport, the very serene as she dust off her paws.
Inocenta give out many kicks on the Route Sixty-six.
***
Les:
Any worries I might have had about Inocenta’s health were dispelled when I saw her take off after Lucius, kicking him all the way out of the airport and into the highway.
Billy Bob was no help to his brother-in-law; as we watched him take to his heels with my wife in hot pursuit he turned to me and said, “Hoo-Eee! You sure got yourself a spitfire there, ain’tcha?” He doubled over, laughing.
“Yeah, I guess I do,” I said, craning my neck to make sure she wasn’t intent on chasing the poor guy all the way to the Mixtecan border. I wanted to soldier on to St. Louis and Chicago, and then get home.
And I wasn’t going without Inocenta.
My fears that I’d have to follow her south vanished when she came around a corner, looking none the worse for wear and dusting her paws off with a very satisfied look on her muzzle. “Hallo, Leslie-puppy,” she said, and gave me a kiss. “We are the ready to go?”
“Er, yes.”
Billy Bob assured us that this was the first time he’d ever seen Lucius move that fast in his entire life, and he insisted on shaking paws with Inocenta before we settled the bill. He took ten percent off as a gift to the happy couple, and waved as I started the engines.
I wanted to get out of Texas as fast as possible.
While you might encounter a guy with a mechanic for an in-law, you never know who might have a Sheriff in the family.
We reached Lambert Field at St. Louis by sundown. Thank the Architect, because I was bushed. (No, I will NOT say ‘dog-tired,’ thank you). Lunch was sitting even more firmly on my usual good spirits, so we took a cab into town and stayed at a hotel with a view of the Mississippi River.
To say I was uninterested in room service would be an understatement, but that didn’t stop Inocenta from having (and enjoying) a good supper.
My wife gave me a back rub, which helped me drift off to dreamland.
The last thing I can remember is her curling up against me.
I felt a lot better the next day, but decided that we needed a day away from the Birchcraft. I sent a telegram off to Uncle Pierre and Aunt Toni after breakfast and suggested to Inocenta that we spend the time seeing the city and relaxing.
Inocenta was enthusiastic about it – I think long hours in the air are starting to bore her. She sent off a wire to her parents in Spontoon.
The reply to my telegram was waiting for us at the front desk as we were coming down for dinner:
GLAD TO HEAR YOU IN ST LOUIS STOP TONI AND I ARE ANXIOUS TO SEE YOU AND INOCENTA STOP FAMILY GATHERING FOR WEDDING STOP LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR ARRIVAL STOP
The third line in the cable made my ears droop a bit.
NEXT
FIRST
© 2013 by Walter D. Reimer
(Characters courtesy of
Major Matt Mason and 
EOCostelloThe story of the duCleds relationship and marriage can be found on the Spontoon Island website, in the following stories:
Inocenta Until Proven Guilty
Valentine's Dazed
The I Do's of March
Art by
TheTiedTigress______________________________________________
Part 2.
Inocenta:
Pouf!
If this is the how you say, heart of the Texas, Inocenta say you can be welcome to have it. Madre de Dios, it is hot and it make Inocenta feel the light in the head.
Poor Leslie-puppy, he look the muy distressed at the engines of the aeroplane. (The aeroplane, it is part of the extension of the bigness of Leslie-puppy, as Inocenta say before.) The man at the airport, he is the coyote, and he speak en la Español, as if he think Inocenta not understand the tongue of her mothers.
The man he is saying that his sister’s husband is a drunk and a no-good. Inocenta keep her muzzle shut and her ears open, the better to learn what it is the man says.
Ay de mi!
Inocenta not know one could DO that with a tail.
Inocenta must ask her Leslie-puppy. This was no mention in the convent school.
The brother-of-law he is a coyote as well, but he look the hanging-dog at being woken up. He stagger, as well, but Leslie-puppy look the relieved when he start working on the engine.
Leslie-puppy ask Inocenta if she is hungry, and we go to small cantina named ‘Cowpuncher Joe’s.’
Inocenta wonder sometimes about the Americanos – who want to punch the cows? They no do anything wrong, Inocenta thinks. It is bad to treat the herbivore this way, she further think.
The cantina she is the neat and clean inside, and the food smells muy bueno! We have the seats and begin to look at menus.
While we read the menus one man watch us, and finally he ask Leslie-puppy, “Hey, pardner, ya’ll ain’t from ‘round here, aintcha?”
***
Les:
I looked the guy over for a second. Lean cougar, looked about ten or so years older than me. Hard-bitten was the phrase that leaped to mind, rancher probably. “No,” I said, “my wife and I are just passing through.”
“Yankee, aintcha?”
I sighed a bit. The accent is a giveaway, and I hoped that we wouldn’t have any trouble. “Yes.”
“Well,” the cat drawled, giving a few others in the place the eye, “ya can rest easy, pardner. East, West, whatever – we’re all in this together, ain’t we? That guy in Washington’s gonna ruin us all.”
I nodded. Even way out on Spontoon I’d heard about it. I hoped Uncle Pete had managed to protect the business.
The guy leaned back a bit in his chair and his tail swished about. “Y’know, son, we got a little thing going here - open bet, ya might call it. You look like you’re keepin’ a fine appetite.”
“That’s right.”
The cougar grinned. “Up for a little wager, then?”
“Go on.” I was intrigued, and Inocenta looked interested.
“It’s like this – ya eat a steak and all the trimmin’s in an hour, and it’s free.”
I resisted the urge to lick my lips. A nice steak, direct from the middle of cattle country? And they give me an hour to eat it? Lead me to it!
“And if I don’t eat it in an hour?”
“Twenty bucks.”
“That’s a lot for a steak.”
“It’s good steak. Ya’ll interested?”
I glanced at Inocenta and felt my machismo start to rise. I can do justice to a steak.
“You’re on.”
The cougar grinned and yelled in the direction of the kitchen, “Hey Gladys! Set up El Gigante! How ya’ll want it?”
“Medium rare.”
I started to ask myself what I was getting into.
***
Inocenta:
Inocenta order the fine chile relleños and the cooked zucchini blossoms while Leslie-puppy wait for the one they call El Gigante.
Ay de mi! The cook she bring out the huge steak – Inocenta think it must weight the five pound or more - with potatoes, how it is said, fried in the French, the nice fresh salad, and put the plates down in front of my Leslie-puppy.
“Okay, pardner,” says the cougar, “ya’ll got an hour, starting – now!”
Leslie-puppy smile at his Inocenta and pick up the knife and the fork.
Inocenta think Leslie-puppy may have the more than he can have chew bitten off.
After the fifteen minutes, Leslie-puppy have the third of the steakie eaten.
After the thirty minutes, Leslie-puppy have half the steak eaten and his ears go droopy.
Poor Leslie-puppy; after the forty-five minutes he can eat no more. I reach under the table and rub his poor swollen tummy. It no kick at my paw, like the strong puppy-fawn does.
***
Les:
Urp.
I feel – overstuffed, like a Thanksgiving turkey, or worse, like one of those balloons you see in Gnu York on Thanksgiving Day.
I paid up, though, as the other diners expressed either sympathy or amusement at my plight.
Wouldn’t be the first time I was played for a sucker, but unlike that time in Cairo it didn’t end up costing me anything more than twenty dollars. My escapade in Cairo cost a lot more, with the option of jail time.
Egyptia?
Yeah, he did.
Both of them, actually.
After lunch, Inocenta and I took a brief walk in the afternoon sun. I had to walk off some of the lead weight that was sitting in my stomach.
***
Inocenta:
We take a short walk after the lunch and go back to the airport, where the coyote is finishing up with his tools and bits of this and that. “Hallo!” says Inocenta. “Have you accomplished the servicing of the aeroplane?”
The coyote he look at Leslie-puppy, and the Leslie-puppy blush. Inocenta know why – my darling Leslie-puppy is the embarrassed at the Birchie-craft needing the servicing so soon after leaving the Los Antelopes.
As the aeroplane is fueled, the man walk away and as he go he make the MUY bad remark about Inocenta.
I give the coyote a kick under his shaggy tail, and he begin to run.
Pouf! Even as with child Inocenta may be, yet the deerie speed is the very much of the ease of the match for the puppy.
I chase the coyote from the airport, kicking him when I get close, until he run out into the road. He yelp and have to throw himself into cactus, as he is nearly hit by the family of bears in the Ford automobile.
Inocenta walk back to the airport, the very serene as she dust off her paws.
Inocenta give out many kicks on the Route Sixty-six.
***
Les:
Any worries I might have had about Inocenta’s health were dispelled when I saw her take off after Lucius, kicking him all the way out of the airport and into the highway.
Billy Bob was no help to his brother-in-law; as we watched him take to his heels with my wife in hot pursuit he turned to me and said, “Hoo-Eee! You sure got yourself a spitfire there, ain’tcha?” He doubled over, laughing.
“Yeah, I guess I do,” I said, craning my neck to make sure she wasn’t intent on chasing the poor guy all the way to the Mixtecan border. I wanted to soldier on to St. Louis and Chicago, and then get home.
And I wasn’t going without Inocenta.
My fears that I’d have to follow her south vanished when she came around a corner, looking none the worse for wear and dusting her paws off with a very satisfied look on her muzzle. “Hallo, Leslie-puppy,” she said, and gave me a kiss. “We are the ready to go?”
“Er, yes.”
Billy Bob assured us that this was the first time he’d ever seen Lucius move that fast in his entire life, and he insisted on shaking paws with Inocenta before we settled the bill. He took ten percent off as a gift to the happy couple, and waved as I started the engines.
I wanted to get out of Texas as fast as possible.
While you might encounter a guy with a mechanic for an in-law, you never know who might have a Sheriff in the family.
We reached Lambert Field at St. Louis by sundown. Thank the Architect, because I was bushed. (No, I will NOT say ‘dog-tired,’ thank you). Lunch was sitting even more firmly on my usual good spirits, so we took a cab into town and stayed at a hotel with a view of the Mississippi River.
To say I was uninterested in room service would be an understatement, but that didn’t stop Inocenta from having (and enjoying) a good supper.
My wife gave me a back rub, which helped me drift off to dreamland.
The last thing I can remember is her curling up against me.
I felt a lot better the next day, but decided that we needed a day away from the Birchcraft. I sent a telegram off to Uncle Pierre and Aunt Toni after breakfast and suggested to Inocenta that we spend the time seeing the city and relaxing.
Inocenta was enthusiastic about it – I think long hours in the air are starting to bore her. She sent off a wire to her parents in Spontoon.
The reply to my telegram was waiting for us at the front desk as we were coming down for dinner:
GLAD TO HEAR YOU IN ST LOUIS STOP TONI AND I ARE ANXIOUS TO SEE YOU AND INOCENTA STOP FAMILY GATHERING FOR WEDDING STOP LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR ARRIVAL STOP
The third line in the cable made my ears droop a bit.
NEXT
FIRST
Category Story / General Furry Art
Species Cervine (Other)
Size 618 x 800px
File Size 201.6 kB
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