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(Gift for 
chaoscroc . If you're wondering what the reference is, start watching Colbert host the Late Show, it's a spoof of a sketch he does from that, as is this monologue a spoof of said sketch from about a week ago....www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2I21Gā¦)
Croc: Y'know it's no secret that as the ruler of Neo Robia, I wield tremendous power. As a cartoon despot I have the right of cartoon prima nocta, which means I may sleep with any sidekick to a villain from another show. Have Harley Quinn bathed and brought to my tent. But even my awesome power pales in comparison to the great despots of history....Ghengis Khan, Muammar Gaddafi....Angelina Jolie. These brutal tyrants have but two things in common. One, commanding total obedience, two.......A BIG FURRY HAT!!!!
Now that this hat is upon my head, I am endowed with unquestionable power, due to my hats two main attributes, its bigness, and it's furryness! Any proclamations I make whilst wearing this hat are now and forever law! Let us begin....
It is now law that someone who should short change me... shall be surgically altered to be 4'6" exactly, so that they too will be short changed.
The term "making bread" for earning money shall now be quite literal, and be paid in loaves and in baguettes for overtime!
Stepping on a crack will no longer break your mother's back, but will now dislocate both your shoulder blades!
My Milkshake will indeed bring all the boys to the Yard, effective immediately!
(Please contribute more proclamations Croc is making in the comments below :P )
THE HAT HAS SPOKEN
chaoscroc . If you're wondering what the reference is, start watching Colbert host the Late Show, it's a spoof of a sketch he does from that, as is this monologue a spoof of said sketch from about a week ago....www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2I21Gā¦)Croc: Y'know it's no secret that as the ruler of Neo Robia, I wield tremendous power. As a cartoon despot I have the right of cartoon prima nocta, which means I may sleep with any sidekick to a villain from another show. Have Harley Quinn bathed and brought to my tent. But even my awesome power pales in comparison to the great despots of history....Ghengis Khan, Muammar Gaddafi....Angelina Jolie. These brutal tyrants have but two things in common. One, commanding total obedience, two.......A BIG FURRY HAT!!!!
Now that this hat is upon my head, I am endowed with unquestionable power, due to my hats two main attributes, its bigness, and it's furryness! Any proclamations I make whilst wearing this hat are now and forever law! Let us begin....
It is now law that someone who should short change me... shall be surgically altered to be 4'6" exactly, so that they too will be short changed.
The term "making bread" for earning money shall now be quite literal, and be paid in loaves and in baguettes for overtime!
Stepping on a crack will no longer break your mother's back, but will now dislocate both your shoulder blades!
My Milkshake will indeed bring all the boys to the Yard, effective immediately!
(Please contribute more proclamations Croc is making in the comments below :P )
THE HAT HAS SPOKEN
Category All / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 960 x 1280px
File Size 99.1 kB
Listed in Folders
Anyone who says that they have "gotten your goat" must have, delivered to their place of residence, a live goat within 24 hours. Failure to comply will result in you being dressed up as a goat, and delivered to them as the goat.
Anyone who does not tip the person that takes care of their food at a restaurant, or delivers them their food, will henceforth be unable to get any helpful advice from anyone they meet. After all, if they refuse to give people tips, why should other people give them tips?
It is now law that Taylor Swift do the following:
- Confirm that anyone she is truly never ever getting back together with anyone she had previously dated.
- State who exactly she has bad blood with, that used to be mad love, and issue restraining orders.
- Notify the general public when she is out of the woods, and when she is in the clear, so we do not have to listen to her rhetorically asking us.
THE HAT HAS SPOKEN!!!
Anyone who does not tip the person that takes care of their food at a restaurant, or delivers them their food, will henceforth be unable to get any helpful advice from anyone they meet. After all, if they refuse to give people tips, why should other people give them tips?
It is now law that Taylor Swift do the following:
- Confirm that anyone she is truly never ever getting back together with anyone she had previously dated.
- State who exactly she has bad blood with, that used to be mad love, and issue restraining orders.
- Notify the general public when she is out of the woods, and when she is in the clear, so we do not have to listen to her rhetorically asking us.
THE HAT HAS SPOKEN!!!
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