Let me tell you all a story that I damn near had forgot
And yes, thank you, I’m aware that I do that quite a lot
But if I could briefly be indulged then I’ll happily divulge
Some rather overdue old wisdom and a cameo to spot.

Our story thus begins atop an old and curvy hill
Now turned a pearly white, in no small part thanks to a winter’s chill
With the air soon getting pierced by a young blue bunny’s cheers
As his little sled a’sent the fellah down into a thrill.

He was hardly all alone so don’t get worried or concerned:
His mother had called up a trusted friend that she had long since earned
Because dear Mum sorely maligned her forlorn ol’ peace of mind
So, for quite some time, for ‘private time’ she had quietly yearned.

“Did you see that?” called the bunny, his long ears a brilliant blue.
“I sure did.” soon came the answer, and it was (mostly) true:
She’d seen the end and seen the middle, yet of the start only a little.
But to appease the little lad? Eh: frankly, it would do.

This intrepid young companion was a purple tall arachnid
With a healthy sort of build and a demeanor rather candid:
Although her passions ran warm (and dual-natured in form)
‘Twas such a shame her sanity was notably less avid.

Fear not though, my dear reader, for young Jonathan’s wellbeing
For she found the thought of harming him most certainly unseeming:
Though she might inspire dread I can assure she ain’t no threat
To any cute and furry creature you or I have ever seen.

While his elongated ears were flapping freely in the wind
The tricky lil’ turquoise tyke hurried back up in a sprint
With a big grin on his face that seemed hardly out of place
On such a wily and ingenious mischievous wunderkind.

He embraced the purple spider, showing genuine affection
After crashing at high speed straight into her midsection.
“I’m really glad you picked the park.” the boy cheerfully remarked
Contrary to his sister’s nigh-immediate objections.

Katie’d vocally opposed heading out into the snow
She’d much rather be at home watching trashy TV shows
But when Mum is in the mood there’s naught that you can really do
So begrudgingly she’d gone into the wet and windy cold.

To compound the issue further she had somewhat underdressed:
Her sense of fashion had dictated she make do with just a vest
So now her nipples could cut glass and she was freezing off her ass
Whereas Seskra simply said “Methinks the lady doth protest.”

They’d been out for several hours and were eager for some lunch
(Besides: Mum ought now be done - at least, so went Seskra’s hunch)
Thus she rounded up the gang and licked a snowflake off her fang
Fantasizing ‘bout the hotdogs they would soon all surely munch.

But as the bunny-boy descended he was struck by sudden thought
When his keen eyes swiftly saw a makeshift footpath had been wrought.
First by horses; then by geese; then by slender coyotes
Who were awful smug about the fancy shirt that they just bought.

Meanwhile Katie gently shivered just a little ways behind
Tightly pressed against a spider who most surely didn’t mind:
Such a soft and squishy rabbit could quite well become a habit,
Since specimens this saucy weren’t frequently designed.

The hug was interrupted when a yelp rang through the air
Because Johnny-boy neglected exercising proper care:
Let it simply just suffice saying he slipped on some ice
And subsequently landed squarely on his derrière.

His arachnid babysitter then appeared as in a flash
Half expecting broken bones or at least a major gash
But much to her great relief there was hardly need for grief
As the boy’d come out unscathed, save for maybe his panache.

“You have got to be more careful.” she then told him in a huff.
“But I was sticking to the path all properly and stuff!”
“So did everybody else, hence why the snow so quickly melts
Into hard and slippery ice instead of cushiony white fluff.”

“So Jonathan remember, next time you get the chance:
Things aren’t always right just ‘cause they’re known well in advance.
Sometimes it’s worth taking a shot at a path less often trod
And seeing where you end up despite all your best-laid plans.”

She then picked him up and brushed the pearly snow right off his head
As she let Johnny consider everything she had just said.
Thus much like this very poem it was time now to go home
Because everybody’s eager for a bath and a soft bed.

---

The earliest draft of this poem goes back to December of 2014, and it has very very slowly been developing since then. This entire piece is composed of limericks written to the tune of Frank Turner's Recovery and while I adore the end-results, that format did make this a serious challenge in terms of phrasing. But I've been meaning to flex my cadence-muscles here for a while anyway, plus it was a great way of getting some SFW appearances for Jonathan & Katie from Booze and a Movie (very much not SFW link here).

All in all I am immensely proud of the final product, though of course that shouldn't discourage anyone from giving feedback if they want.

Now if you'll excuse me, there's a cup of tea with my name on it.

This poem and your soul belong to me.