Art by:  Ligerjazz
Lydia (on your left):  Scavengerfox
South (on your right) belongs right here, and totally owes me for trampling that skyscraper I knocked over while looking for lunch yesterday and NO I ain't gonna just forget about it!

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A discordant harmony of purrs rumbled out from the two towering felines like a pair of breakdancing earthquakes. The ground shook and rattled violently, setting off the alarms of what few cars still had resale value or a third dimension throughout the crater-filled, trampled landscape. Both of them giggled as their multi million-dollar seat sunk and crumbled just that little bit more beneath them, their ‘chair’ reaching nearer to complete destruction.

“...So what do you wanna do with this guy, huh South?” Chirped the plush, plump pallas cat as she slowly lifted her paw up onto her heel and began to wriggle and flex her digits in the air. The flattened husk of a cherry red supercar remained stuck to her paw pad; mashed and smashed as flat as could be by the pressure of her simply stretching out, while the half-crushed remnant of a limo lay in a paw-shaped crater below.

“We’ll think of something, Lydia! Can’t just leave the pipsqueak standing there though…” South mewsed as she curled her smile into a smirk and lifted one of her vast paws as well. Her fluffy mountain range of a tail gave an excited flick as she rocked her speckled sole sideways onto gleaming, silver sedan. The snow leopard couldn’t care less about how much extra the armored luxury sedan’s heated, cooled, and massaging leather seats cost, only that it was crushed like a wad of paper under her paw with a delightful tingling of crumpling metalwork.

“You’d at least think he’d be thanking us for getting rid of his crappy yuppie-pad though! GUH that place was ugly! Even worse than the rest of the McMansion crud-houses around here!” A sharp hiss of disdain boomed out from the manul as she remarked on the gated community’s former prevailing architecture.

“Mrowrf...I know, right? What a total dweeb! I say we squish the twerp right meow and leave this dump!” South snickered, drumming her fingers on the mansion’s splintered rafters as she wiggled and splayed her massive toes over the gawking estate owner’s head. With every wiggle her toe claws extended; massive, pointy daggers emerging from their sheaths and swiftly retracting as her digits danced dangerously overhead.

“Oh gross, South! I don’t want yuppie all over my paws! That leaves hella stains!” Lydia groaned, recoiling her paw a few feet, dragging a fresh ditch into the perfectly rolled, manicured lawn as her heavy heel dragged across the grass. With an indignant "Hmmph!", she reached up and brushed a lock of crimson hair off her face, glancing down past her toes at the motionless, former mansion owner standing at the edge of their paw craters.

“Pfft, c’mon! Don’t be such a wuss! Didn’t see you hissing about kicking that caviar buffet apart or stomping on that art gala earlier!” South jeered, flashing her fangs as she gently elbowed her friend’s side.

“Oh shuddup! That was just STUFF! Not yuppies!”

“Yeah, it was yuppie stuff!”

“...Shuddup! There’s a difference!” Lydia crossed her arms and stuck her tongue out at her friend, her round, fluffy form poofing out ever more as mild irritation made her fur stand on end.

The two of them soon began to poke and prod at each other as they argued about what to do with the gentry in the shadow of their toes. Eat him, squish him, call him a total jerkwad while finishing off his cars, grab him for later and so he could withdraw all his money from every bank and then get someone to make shirts out of his “like, fifty bazillion dollars or whatever’. Each one shot the other’s idea down, and as they mewed and hissed, chuffed and growled on and on, it seemed that night may fall before and the mansion would totally crumble away before they reached a solution.

Amidst the big, bad kitties’ beastly bantering, the slack-jawed owner of former mansion turned bench just stared. He could barely believe what he was seeing, or hearing for that matter. Every glitzy, glamorous home in the development pounded flat as could be, all his billionaire neighbors sent screaming and scattering from their estates like peasants in a village being besieged by a pair of floofy dragons. He’d barely made it out himself before the top three floors of his grand mansion were crushed and bashed in by the pair’s behinds. And now he stood staring at them as they poked fun at each other, his fate in their paws, his grandest purrrrchases reduced to nothing, his favorite walk-in humidor torn apart, and all his cars worthless!

“I’M GOING TO SUE!”

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Joint commission between me and Scavengerfox from Ligerjazz of our big, bad kitties Lydia the Pallas Cat, and South the Snow Leopard, doin' just a little neighborhood revitalization! Mansions look better when they're flat after all!