So I'm going to let everyone know, so I can Come out and come clean. I suffer everyday from panic attacks. I live my every day life in true terror.... I don't like saying this or even being with any one when I have my panic attacks. But they have gotten worse to the point I cant drive because its too dangerous. I am getting help, after having one of the biggest panic attacks at my doctors office she's setting me up with a consoler so I can get help and she told me to either write or draw how I feel every day and this is the product of that. this is why I was very quite on Tuesdays stream and why I wasn't very talkative and why I didn't want to skype. I needed to do something to keep my head buzzy so I wouldn't break down again. Also I'm going to be going to my grandmas every other weekend. Its quite there and I can relax with out stress. So this is what's going on, I'll keep you posted how things go and how I improve. I am very scared, I really don't want to do any of this because its out of my comfort zone, but I've come to realize I need help, and I can't keep living like this. Thank you for reading and I hope every one has a good day.