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**edit** Big big thanks to ethancormack for proof reading for me and for editing tips. It was a big help. **
This is a world where every fantasy creature that legends and myths talk about are real and just trying to survive in a the world ruled by man.
Characters from this chapter
Den - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/189513/
Uktena - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/189517/
Renzo - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/189520/
Charo - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/189523/
Ceta - no pic yet
Lippio - No pic yet
Tria - no pic yet.
Coral - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/255394/
Lyre - no pic yet
To begin with, I want to address the Uktena. The Uktena is a native American mythological creature that I believe originated with the Eastern Cherokee Indians. It�s a gigantic snake with horns (though I can�t find anything that says what kind of horns it has so I just faked it), a giant diamond shaped crystal on it�s head, rings of colors, and bright lights. Seeing one means certain death because those who see the Uktena are so dazzled by it that they run towards it instead of away. Even seeing it while it sleeps means death to the family of the one who saw it. But if you can get the crystal on it�s forehead, you can see the future or something like that. Maybe it was just do really great magic. I can�t fully remember that part.
This chapter is background on how Den and Uktena met and a bit about the world they live in. It also goes into some depth about why Uktena is an outcast from his tribe.
Please tell me what you think and any ways to make it better.
So here it is, my first attempt at an original work of fiction
This is a world where every fantasy creature that legends and myths talk about are real and just trying to survive in a the world ruled by man.
Characters from this chapter
Den - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/189513/
Uktena - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/189517/
Renzo - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/189520/
Charo - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/189523/
Ceta - no pic yet
Lippio - No pic yet
Tria - no pic yet.
Coral - http://www.furaffinity.net/view/255394/
Lyre - no pic yet
To begin with, I want to address the Uktena. The Uktena is a native American mythological creature that I believe originated with the Eastern Cherokee Indians. It�s a gigantic snake with horns (though I can�t find anything that says what kind of horns it has so I just faked it), a giant diamond shaped crystal on it�s head, rings of colors, and bright lights. Seeing one means certain death because those who see the Uktena are so dazzled by it that they run towards it instead of away. Even seeing it while it sleeps means death to the family of the one who saw it. But if you can get the crystal on it�s forehead, you can see the future or something like that. Maybe it was just do really great magic. I can�t fully remember that part.
This chapter is background on how Den and Uktena met and a bit about the world they live in. It also goes into some depth about why Uktena is an outcast from his tribe.
Please tell me what you think and any ways to make it better.
So here it is, my first attempt at an original work of fiction
Category Story / Fantasy
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 62.5 kB
I just finished reading, and I have to say that you've done a good job here! Your tale is different from a lot of things I've read, but the uniqueness of it adds something. I enjoyed the whole thing and I'm looking forward to more if you choose to continue it.
BTW, you've done a nice job with your spelling/grammar for being self-conscious about it. Unlike some who post their stories, it looks like you actually know your english and make an effort to get it right. As someone who dabbles in writing, I salute you! As a reader, I definitely appreciate it!
If you're still looking for someone to do some proofreading, I'd be pleased and honored to do so for you. If not, maybe we could talk about your ideas for continuing this story?
To make a long story short: great job! :)
BTW, you've done a nice job with your spelling/grammar for being self-conscious about it. Unlike some who post their stories, it looks like you actually know your english and make an effort to get it right. As someone who dabbles in writing, I salute you! As a reader, I definitely appreciate it!
If you're still looking for someone to do some proofreading, I'd be pleased and honored to do so for you. If not, maybe we could talk about your ideas for continuing this story?
To make a long story short: great job! :)
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