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Tale of Sapphire (prologue): The young dragon
This is my first entry. I had put in alot of effort and i hope you would like this little story. There wont be any vore in the first few chapter. but i planned on including them later on.
A human track through a thick forest when he came across something unusual. What had fate leaded him to and what will he do about it?
<<< PREV | FIRST | NEXT >>>
A young man walked through the woods with a bow holstered to his back. The young man appeared to be slightly muscular. His clothing were a bit worn but still in pretty good condition. He looked up into sky where the sun was descending and was being filtered by the canopy of leaves above . The Earthly smell of soil crept slowly across the ground. The familiar sound of cicadas could be heard that broke the silence of the woods.
“ ...Seems like i have to go another night without a meal …” the young man sighed,
“ there doesn’t seems to be anything for the hunt …. not even a single bird .”
Right when he was about to turn and walk back to the village he heard a high-pitched cry of distress. Whatever it is sounds like its in pain.
The young man curious about what was happening decide to investigate the source of whatever is making that sound and began to walk into the thick vegetation.
the adolescent soon came up upon what appears to be a small blue dragon being cornered into a rocky cliff wall by a bear. The dragon appeared roughly the size of a small dog. The sun bounces off its scale giving it a radiant blue colour.
“A….a dragon? why is a hatchling on its own here...wait could it be?….tsk...” The young men clicked his tongue while readying his bow.
“steady…..steady….” The young man aimed then he plucked the string sending the arrow piercing through the air, however it missed the desired target and hit the rocky wall instead.
The little dragon yelped and used its wing to cover its head, trembling in fear, too petrified to even move. The bear gave an angry low growl and turned to the young man.
“c...crap!” The man dropped his bow , pulled out his carving knife and pointed it in the direction of the bear. “St….stay back! I don't want to hurt you!”
The bear began charging towards the man claws ready to strike. The young man hesitated but its seems he really has no choice this time.
The bear swiped its claw toward the man from the left. The young man managed to duck underneath the bear and rise upward with the blade aimed towards the bear’s neck. With one quick thrust the man manage to severed the bear major artery . The bear may have had strength on his side, however the young man was much too agile for the bear to handle.
“I'm sorry….but… it’s either you or the two of us….” the young man, said with a sign of regrets in his voice.
He sheathed his blade and began to approach the dragon slowly. He knew the way he approaches right now was very delicate and as much as one sudden movements will scare the hatchling. The last thing he wanted is to have at least one of his eyebrow burnt off.
“h….hey… there. My name is Leodour, but you can call me Leon. are you….ok?” The young man asked the little dragon as he slowly lowers his body to appear less threatening. he tried not to smile as he knew that, to a dragon, it may be sign of aggressions.
To his surprise he didn't get an answer instead what he received is the dragon lunging at him and biting his shoulder. The impact was so sudden and unexpected that it caused the young man to fall backward. It happen so fast that he didn't even have the time to scream.
“Gah! w….wait! I'm ….I’m not here to hurt you!” The young man cried out. “please….trust me on….this… didn't i saved you? Isn't that enough to prove that..I’m trustworthy?”
He felt the jaw tightening it was obvious, The dragon was still unconvinced.
“ If i'm a threat I would have ended you long ago! I wouldn't have kept my knife! I didn't even hurt you and won't ever will! I bet my life on it, so stop crushing my shoulder!.”
Soon he felt the grip on his shoulder beginning to soften, blood soon began trickling down his hand however it is the least of his worry at the moment. What he really care about now is whether he had managed to calm the dragon down.
The dragon stopped biting entirely and was now simply looking at the human straight in the eye, being very cautious about every move he made . Its body appear to be quite healthy to the human relief.
“w...where is your parents? i don't think hatchling would be left on its own .” The adolescent questioned the dragon.
“s….scary…..human… .. carrying big shiny stick… Mummy tell me to run. Mummy roared. scary bear chased me.” The dragon replied in fragmented young high pitched feminine voice.
“big shiny stick? Roaring? No …. isn't those sword?Wait no don't tell me….”he was Soon able to piece together what the young hatchling had told him. it seems that another dragon have fallen in the hand of the humans. Even he knew the truth deep inside, He hoped that the dragon that this hatchling belongs to is still alive...somehow.
Right now he needed get the dragon back. But he can't afford to let any of the villagers find out that he is now caring for a dragon. Doing so will place the both of them,especially the dragon, in great danger.
maybe….the bag he used for carrying the spoils of his hunt can be used to conceal the dragon’s presence. since most people either ignore or avoid him it may be easier to “smuggle” the dragon into the village.
“ Do you think you can hide in this bag? I'm going to bring you to somewhere safe first,” The young men asked while slowly opening and reveal the interior of his satchel to the small hatchling. “It's already getting late. So we need to get out of the woods before sundown. We can look for your mother tomorrow first thing in the morning, I promise .”
The young dragon hesitated at first before slowly crawling into his bag. He slowly closed the lid over her hoping that it would conceal her.
He walked up to the bear and cut a portion its meat, after all a bear's meat is still meat and he needed the food.
“Well I guess this much meat will be suitable for a human and a baby dragon I guess.” he thought to himself as he slung a big slab of meat over his free shoulder.
"Ughh..it's stinky!"the young dragon whined.
Leon replied with a calm and reserved tone for the hatchling to quieten down and that she'd be safe with him.
The dragon reluctantly sank back into the bag complying with the human she just recently met. The night would have taken over if he make his way back now, so there wasn't any time to lose.Without any hesitation he starts to make his way back to the village.
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“Click…Click...klank” The familiar sound of the door’s lock could be heard as he nervously twisted his key. Did anyone see him? Did anyone suspect what he is hiding? Many thought was running through his head right now as he slowly pushed the door open.
He was greeted by the scent of mouldy wood.The Room is filled with wooden furnish Most of which were slightly worn as he wasn’t given any proper furniture when he first came here, in fact the late village chief was one of the few people to treated him nicely here. The Village Chief was also the one who had convince the village to give him this empty house, a place for him to stay.
Using his free hand he open his bag and lower it to the chair, the little dragoness slowly crawled out of it and sat there innocently.
“ give me a second while I put away the meat.” He gently talked to her As He walked to the kitchen counter and haul the meat over it.
The moment he did that he felt a searing pain over his shoulder. It didn't cross his mind until now, even though it was so obvious, he was so obsessed with bringing the dragon back that he forgot he had covered his wound with the slab of meat this whole time.
He howled in agony as the painful sensation travelled down his arm.he look at his arm and realising that the wound is quite swollen.
“Could it have been infected by the meat…. ugh!” Leon fell to his knees grasping his wounded arm. Right then the dragon hopped off the chair and approached the human.
“ wait….don’t….worry… it's just a little…” His word was rudely interrupted by the young dragoness as she place her forepaw on his back using it as a support as she began licking his wound. This itself came as a surprise to him.
He knew that the saliva of a dragon had a slight healing property. But he never expected the dragon to come up to him to lick his wound. He didn't expect that the dragon would trust him so early, especially not when they first met.
When the little dragon applied her tongue on the humans wound, it stung a little but it was still barely bearable. But following a few more licks, the painful sensation begins to subside. Not soon after, majority of the pain is gone. At one point he was certain he could hear a soft moan escape from the small dragoness.
being licked by anything carnivorous is a scary experience to any human let alone a dragon however Leon was unaffected by this.
“T...thank you…. until now… i don't really know your name … do you have one?” The dragon nodded upon being asked.
“I see…. can i know what is it?”
“s….sapphire” The dragon replied timidly.
“What a beautiful name. I can see where that name came from” the young human complimented.
“Do…..Do you really promise that you will bring me to see mummy?” The dragon ask with innocence in her eye.
“there is no reason for me to lie, little one. In fact .. i would love to meet her.” Leon replied sincerely.
A human track through a thick forest when he came across something unusual. What had fate leaded him to and what will he do about it?
<<< PREV | FIRST | NEXT >>>
A young man walked through the woods with a bow holstered to his back. The young man appeared to be slightly muscular. His clothing were a bit worn but still in pretty good condition. He looked up into sky where the sun was descending and was being filtered by the canopy of leaves above . The Earthly smell of soil crept slowly across the ground. The familiar sound of cicadas could be heard that broke the silence of the woods.
“ ...Seems like i have to go another night without a meal …” the young man sighed,
“ there doesn’t seems to be anything for the hunt …. not even a single bird .”
Right when he was about to turn and walk back to the village he heard a high-pitched cry of distress. Whatever it is sounds like its in pain.
The young man curious about what was happening decide to investigate the source of whatever is making that sound and began to walk into the thick vegetation.
the adolescent soon came up upon what appears to be a small blue dragon being cornered into a rocky cliff wall by a bear. The dragon appeared roughly the size of a small dog. The sun bounces off its scale giving it a radiant blue colour.
“A….a dragon? why is a hatchling on its own here...wait could it be?….tsk...” The young men clicked his tongue while readying his bow.
“steady…..steady….” The young man aimed then he plucked the string sending the arrow piercing through the air, however it missed the desired target and hit the rocky wall instead.
The little dragon yelped and used its wing to cover its head, trembling in fear, too petrified to even move. The bear gave an angry low growl and turned to the young man.
“c...crap!” The man dropped his bow , pulled out his carving knife and pointed it in the direction of the bear. “St….stay back! I don't want to hurt you!”
The bear began charging towards the man claws ready to strike. The young man hesitated but its seems he really has no choice this time.
The bear swiped its claw toward the man from the left. The young man managed to duck underneath the bear and rise upward with the blade aimed towards the bear’s neck. With one quick thrust the man manage to severed the bear major artery . The bear may have had strength on his side, however the young man was much too agile for the bear to handle.
“I'm sorry….but… it’s either you or the two of us….” the young man, said with a sign of regrets in his voice.
He sheathed his blade and began to approach the dragon slowly. He knew the way he approaches right now was very delicate and as much as one sudden movements will scare the hatchling. The last thing he wanted is to have at least one of his eyebrow burnt off.
“h….hey… there. My name is Leodour, but you can call me Leon. are you….ok?” The young man asked the little dragon as he slowly lowers his body to appear less threatening. he tried not to smile as he knew that, to a dragon, it may be sign of aggressions.
To his surprise he didn't get an answer instead what he received is the dragon lunging at him and biting his shoulder. The impact was so sudden and unexpected that it caused the young man to fall backward. It happen so fast that he didn't even have the time to scream.
“Gah! w….wait! I'm ….I’m not here to hurt you!” The young man cried out. “please….trust me on….this… didn't i saved you? Isn't that enough to prove that..I’m trustworthy?”
He felt the jaw tightening it was obvious, The dragon was still unconvinced.
“ If i'm a threat I would have ended you long ago! I wouldn't have kept my knife! I didn't even hurt you and won't ever will! I bet my life on it, so stop crushing my shoulder!.”
Soon he felt the grip on his shoulder beginning to soften, blood soon began trickling down his hand however it is the least of his worry at the moment. What he really care about now is whether he had managed to calm the dragon down.
The dragon stopped biting entirely and was now simply looking at the human straight in the eye, being very cautious about every move he made . Its body appear to be quite healthy to the human relief.
“w...where is your parents? i don't think hatchling would be left on its own .” The adolescent questioned the dragon.
“s….scary…..human… .. carrying big shiny stick… Mummy tell me to run. Mummy roared. scary bear chased me.” The dragon replied in fragmented young high pitched feminine voice.
“big shiny stick? Roaring? No …. isn't those sword?Wait no don't tell me….”he was Soon able to piece together what the young hatchling had told him. it seems that another dragon have fallen in the hand of the humans. Even he knew the truth deep inside, He hoped that the dragon that this hatchling belongs to is still alive...somehow.
Right now he needed get the dragon back. But he can't afford to let any of the villagers find out that he is now caring for a dragon. Doing so will place the both of them,especially the dragon, in great danger.
maybe….the bag he used for carrying the spoils of his hunt can be used to conceal the dragon’s presence. since most people either ignore or avoid him it may be easier to “smuggle” the dragon into the village.
“ Do you think you can hide in this bag? I'm going to bring you to somewhere safe first,” The young men asked while slowly opening and reveal the interior of his satchel to the small hatchling. “It's already getting late. So we need to get out of the woods before sundown. We can look for your mother tomorrow first thing in the morning, I promise .”
The young dragon hesitated at first before slowly crawling into his bag. He slowly closed the lid over her hoping that it would conceal her.
He walked up to the bear and cut a portion its meat, after all a bear's meat is still meat and he needed the food.
“Well I guess this much meat will be suitable for a human and a baby dragon I guess.” he thought to himself as he slung a big slab of meat over his free shoulder.
"Ughh..it's stinky!"the young dragon whined.
Leon replied with a calm and reserved tone for the hatchling to quieten down and that she'd be safe with him.
The dragon reluctantly sank back into the bag complying with the human she just recently met. The night would have taken over if he make his way back now, so there wasn't any time to lose.Without any hesitation he starts to make his way back to the village.
♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢
“Click…Click...klank” The familiar sound of the door’s lock could be heard as he nervously twisted his key. Did anyone see him? Did anyone suspect what he is hiding? Many thought was running through his head right now as he slowly pushed the door open.
He was greeted by the scent of mouldy wood.The Room is filled with wooden furnish Most of which were slightly worn as he wasn’t given any proper furniture when he first came here, in fact the late village chief was one of the few people to treated him nicely here. The Village Chief was also the one who had convince the village to give him this empty house, a place for him to stay.
Using his free hand he open his bag and lower it to the chair, the little dragoness slowly crawled out of it and sat there innocently.
“ give me a second while I put away the meat.” He gently talked to her As He walked to the kitchen counter and haul the meat over it.
The moment he did that he felt a searing pain over his shoulder. It didn't cross his mind until now, even though it was so obvious, he was so obsessed with bringing the dragon back that he forgot he had covered his wound with the slab of meat this whole time.
He howled in agony as the painful sensation travelled down his arm.he look at his arm and realising that the wound is quite swollen.
“Could it have been infected by the meat…. ugh!” Leon fell to his knees grasping his wounded arm. Right then the dragon hopped off the chair and approached the human.
“ wait….don’t….worry… it's just a little…” His word was rudely interrupted by the young dragoness as she place her forepaw on his back using it as a support as she began licking his wound. This itself came as a surprise to him.
He knew that the saliva of a dragon had a slight healing property. But he never expected the dragon to come up to him to lick his wound. He didn't expect that the dragon would trust him so early, especially not when they first met.
When the little dragon applied her tongue on the humans wound, it stung a little but it was still barely bearable. But following a few more licks, the painful sensation begins to subside. Not soon after, majority of the pain is gone. At one point he was certain he could hear a soft moan escape from the small dragoness.
being licked by anything carnivorous is a scary experience to any human let alone a dragon however Leon was unaffected by this.
“T...thank you…. until now… i don't really know your name … do you have one?” The dragon nodded upon being asked.
“I see…. can i know what is it?”
“s….sapphire” The dragon replied timidly.
“What a beautiful name. I can see where that name came from” the young human complimented.
“Do…..Do you really promise that you will bring me to see mummy?” The dragon ask with innocence in her eye.
“there is no reason for me to lie, little one. In fact .. i would love to meet her.” Leon replied sincerely.
Category Story / Fantasy
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 8.4 kB
Listed in Folders
The opening of the story is vivid and written very rhythmically. It's not only easy to follow along with; it's fast-paced. It's also heart-warming. One thing you can't learn in writing classes is that sincerity you have before you've been filled with lectures on writing elements and plot devices. So I like that. Don't lose that voice of yours.
I like little bits like "he tried not to smile as he knew that, to a dragon, it may be sign of aggressions." It tells me you've got a sense of how dragons act in your story... along with the healing properties of the tongue. It's good to know what your characters do, can do and won't do.
Now, your weak point to me is your tense consistency. You switch between past tense and present tense, like here, for example: "He walked to the kitchen counter and haul the meat over it." "Haul" should be "hauled". It seems like you've got more past tense usage than present in the story overall, so I'd go back through and double-check those things.
Overall, cute story...
From here you should flesh out your world and your characters. Who is Sapphire? Would the man do X? Would Sapphire do Y? I feel like it was an abrupt change in emotion when Sapphire went from clawing the man's shoulder to hopping into his bag within a minute. She can do that. But reason that out. Reason why she's suddenly so trustworthy.
Do that and tighten up your tenses...
Great for one of your first stories Ventus. I'll happily read the next ones once you've gotten to them.
I like little bits like "he tried not to smile as he knew that, to a dragon, it may be sign of aggressions." It tells me you've got a sense of how dragons act in your story... along with the healing properties of the tongue. It's good to know what your characters do, can do and won't do.
Now, your weak point to me is your tense consistency. You switch between past tense and present tense, like here, for example: "He walked to the kitchen counter and haul the meat over it." "Haul" should be "hauled". It seems like you've got more past tense usage than present in the story overall, so I'd go back through and double-check those things.
Overall, cute story...
From here you should flesh out your world and your characters. Who is Sapphire? Would the man do X? Would Sapphire do Y? I feel like it was an abrupt change in emotion when Sapphire went from clawing the man's shoulder to hopping into his bag within a minute. She can do that. But reason that out. Reason why she's suddenly so trustworthy.
Do that and tighten up your tenses...
Great for one of your first stories Ventus. I'll happily read the next ones once you've gotten to them.
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