Well, I can tell you probably haven't had much experience writing fiction. The general wording of this so far is really dumbed down. But I'll try to go into more detail to give you an idea on how to improve. Don't take this as an insult, I'm simply trying to help you, as one writer to another.

To me, your style so far seems fitted to a children's book. You give very limited, if not basic, descriptions of each character. You need more depth. Do they have any other distinguishing features? What are they wearing on this particular day? When you write in the narrative format, you have to treat the reader as if they're blind and you have to describe every minute detail so they can paint a picture in their heads as to what's going on. You may have a clear picture in your head as to how these scenes play out, but the rest of us don't. This same concept applies to scenery.

Also, sometimes when you're trying to give out certain characteristics of a character, it's better to use the old adage "Show, don't tell." For instance, when you state that Jared is a thin boy, you don't need to go on that he doesn't have a great muscle mass or that he's a slow runner. Show it through descriptions of what he's doing. Say that he was late to school and tried to run there but got winded about half-way there. That gives enough description that we're not talking about a very athletic character without just coming right out and saying that he's not athletic.

When you start going into Jared's day, I think you could have expanded on at least one of the classes, detailing it in full before giving bits and pieces of how the rest of his day went. You could have went off on the Literature class section about how he got bored and just wrote down anything and then played video games or something the night before and thought what he had was good enough or something along those lines. Or maybe how the rest of the class reacted to the teacher talking about what constitutes as a "page", maybe even down to nit-picking about the sizes of margins and fonts. This all adds loads of lines of description that makes reading stories a lot more enjoyable for the reader because it immerses them into the story with reasonable actions.

All of the above can pretty much be translated for both Rebecca and, should you get to him, Trenton. I don't exactly know what you're going for here story wise because you haven't revealed much in the way of plot. So far you've just detailed these peoples' lives and I'm not quite sure why any of it is important or really relevant. The way to rectify this is to write more! If you're going to post pits and pieces of a story, make sure there's a plot in there so somebody has something to read other than just descriptions of people. Keep at it, though, kid.