The captain's bathtub explodes in 3, 2, 1....

The new duck-propulsion system. I've heard about that.

Just don't goof up and throw in a goose... it's like using diesel in a regular motor.

-B!

More like using Vin Diesel. Woah-hoho ho.

i lol'd

V-TEC JUST KICKED IN YO

Was the duck alive?

It is at the moment.

-B!

Oh those poor souls aboard...

Man I hate working with non-standard parts.

Those are the raw matierials to make duck tape. One of the only two tools that are absolutely essential, the other being WD40. Most problems that can't be solved with those two can be solved with a combination of profanity and physical violance.

I must correct you slightly. Every tool kit only needs four tools:

Duct tape
WD-40 (or similar All-Purpose Lubricant)
A Hammer
A Bigger Hammer

A Bigger Hammer is always needed!

-B!

I cast "Summon Bigger Hammer"...

Hence the proverb "If at first you don't succeed, find a bigger hammer."

Wow, sounds like all of you are getting hammer-conscious...

It's.. Hammer time? Someone had to say it!

I use a crowbar, just personal preference.

Replace "A Hammer" with "C-4"

that must make it very difficult to hang a painting, surely?

Nope....
1) Locate adjacent studs in wall
2) insert head of A Bigger Hammer between adjacent studs
3) Hang picture on exposed A Bigger Hammer handle

SIMPLE!

considering your habit of drawing giant wangs I can't help but wonder why he's called "snappy pants"

Hey look, a duck!

"a a duck"?

Damn... that should be 'and'...

Refresh!
It should all be better, thanks!

Ooooops.....

Wait...wait what do you mean ooooops?

I hate when this happens.

When WHAT happens?

Ya know when you take something apart to fix it and then put it back together
and you have bits and pieces left over, and you cant for the life of you remember where
they go, but everything seems to be working okay so you figure its alright then later
you remember where they went but its...

crap.

*Been there done that *

I had shelves that lost connector pegs every time I moved 'em... by the end I think gravity and optimism kept them in check.

-B!

QUICK! MACGYVER IT!

You can't MacGyver a duck!
You either have it or you don't.

-B!

MacGyver could use the pipe, bag of bolts, the duck and a rubber band to disable a high tech security system. Either that or hot wire a car.

or a duck bong.

That too.

Easy.
If the port duck is missing, take your starbord duck and some components and make two cyber-ducks.

Port Ducks are way more important than Starboard Ducks.
You can't interchange them!

-B!

Most construction kit comes with extra nuts and bolts, so that explains that. And I'm sure the pipe go to some redundance system, so it'll be cool.

That duck? He's there guarding it all and will place a hex on anyone that comes too close.

...the duck is the most important part of the kit. Always.

Don't worry, it appears that the Hula Girl Doll and emergency back up Hula Girl Doll have been installed. With those in place everything else is superfluous... nuts, bolts, pipes, warp cores, chewing gum, duckies; all mere formalities.

Works for me!

I wonder if the Enterprise has a Hula Girl on the dash.

-B!

Fuck, when you say it like that, it all sounds so easy. Then someone (specifically me) tries it, which threatens to send them back into their just-gotten-over depression.

Not sure if I get the joke, but ducks are always there to amuse.

*feeds the duck the bolts, then puts the pipe over the duck's bill* Look! A bolt firing duck gun!

....that's either insane or brilliant... or both.

-B!

" All crews, man the for'ard Duck gun!"

*Nods.* Sounds authentic.

The BDG... Big Duck'ing Gun.

*hhhhHHHHHHMMMMMMM-QUACK!*

It's obvious: the pipe is for the sink in the bathroom, the bolts are for bolting down toilet and the duck is a phaser.

Hmm..Makes me wonder

VI-A-DUCK? Vi not a chicken, or a goose.. Vi-A-Duck?

I see richard dean anderson inspired characters in your futures o.o

Aw man, I HATE spare parts...

You never know what they were meant for, and what will thus break soon...

It's a sign... The Pipe goes in your pants... (Front of your piece if possible) The bolts in your ears and nose and the Duck to warn of the impending doom of all the worlds Bath tubs exploding within the next few moments of existance.

I believe an extra step is required between 4 and 5, and that 5 needs to be changed.

step 4.5 ????????

Step 5 Profit

What they don't know is that the duck is in actuality following them.

>.>*waits for the james bond moment* the bolts are high powered explosives and the pipe is a detonator, the duck... its a duck just have fun with it for a while >.>

You can get by without the bolts and pipe... but the duck? Oh man, his supervisor's gonna have his ass for a hat tomorrow.

Maybe they won't notice when the ship implodes... maybe...

the pipes must be filty by brown stuff

You should know better than to pick up a duck in a dungeo -- er, I mean, spaceship.

Oh that gets you extra points!

-B!

Dang, I was trying to think of ways to work that in.

You should know better than to pick up a duck in a... dockyard? Damn, that would have been perfect.

Oh no! The Captain won't get his "duck l'orange"!

Ya never know when you'll need that spare ducky. A hole in the hull could spell doom without one.

Fortunately the duck was just the captain's dinner and he'd just as soon have ramen noodles.

Unfortunately the Bag of Bolts is considered a delicacy in the security officer's culture and he is going to be *so* pissed.

The duck is critical for the survival of a spaceship.

you ALWAYS have leftover stuff :D

Oh, my... they left out the Matter-Antimatter channeling duck... this will be BAD when they hit warp...

Why are bolts always measured in "Handfuls" or "Bags"? You would think when constructing something that would require said bolts you may want to make sure exactly how many bolts should be used in the project... I mean 1 bag of bolts would could be 5 or 500 bolts... and what if it requires 499 and your bag only has 20?