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Wherein Hot rod fails to purchase cheeseburgers with enlightenment.
This, for those who do not know, is a rather old story, made when I was a mere ten years old. As such, this story is, well, bad. However, I feel it is bad in an enjoyable way that is worth sharing with the world. Feel free to make fun of ten-year-old-me's writing! I do that a lot, myself, in the annotations.
Just be warned, everyone: This is going to be a very strange journey.
<<< PREV | FIRST | NEXT >>>
==========
Annotations in red. Annotations pertaining to something not visible in plain text are omitted from this transcription
The Adventures of Hot rod
Well, this is going to be quite a wild ride.
Welcome, my friends, to the annotated version of The Adventures of Hot Rod. But first, a bit of backstory on the character. This character was created a LONG time ago. It was not created for this story, but in fact was conceptualized long before it, as a character for my daydreams who would go on a wide variety of adventures.
The story, so you know, was started when I was ten. The character creation may have been as early as when I was 8. As such, this is not my best character or my best writing.
This character is clearly a Mary Sue. All I knew about the name when choosing it was that “hot rod” was the name for some sort of cool object of some sort and thus might make a good character name. Only much later did I realize the correlation to automated transportation apparatus.
In addition, the character, in appearance and flight ability, is a copy of Tails, though I must give myself credit for actually, acknowledging this and incorporating it into the story. In addition, in my mind, the character had many, many powers. Psychic powers, fire breath and immunity, flight (as mentioned), bubble powers (why yes, I had Bubble Bobble when I was a child, why do you ask?), and probably other things that I do not recall off the top of my head.
The character in this story is not quite so powerful and, in fact, starts off as human. It is still a Mary Sue, even if not as much of one as the original incarnation, but I do hold a sort of fondness for this story, really. It is so cheesy and off the wall that it is quite enjoyable, in an ironic way.
This story, I recall, was VERY fun to write. Writer's block was non-existent, because the sparse detail and crazy setting meant that I could flit between plots and styles to fit whatever I wanted to write at the moment. This is the one way in which my writing in this story is admittedly better than my more recent writing. There are many ways in which my more recent writing is superior, of course.
By Jesse Hammond
All games, songs, and movies mentioned in this book are real Apparently, back then, I somehow thought this would protect me from lawyers. Fortunately, obscurity did the trick just fine.
Hot rod
The beginning Ah, youthful creativity...
The Arrival The comment
What a strange thing to find out. All I did was go to sleep and guess what I wake up to. I wake up to realize that I’m in some crazy zone of fantasy. The only shred of reality was my hunger. I was a bit thirsty too. Neither of which I realized at the moment. Ah yes, first person perspective. I must say, it adds a lot of character to this story. I would later become more refined in terms of first-person narration, but this was a fair first stab, for my age.
I don’t think I would’ve realized if a rock hit me in the head Well, yes, that is true. Being unconscious from a concussion generally inhibits one’s ability to notice stuff. but I realized this... a sign reading “welcome to Adther.”
That’s a sign that might as well read “it’s hopeless.” You don’t know what you have until what you have is still real and you’re fake. Okay, I will admit, that line was clever, even if he should not yet know that he is in a fantasy world. Though this is past-tense narration, it still is out of place.
What do I do now?
My average schedule is:
7:00) wake up
8:45) go to school
4:10) go home
9:30) go to bed I remember looking upon this schedule in envy, when I went to middle school and realized that everything was shifted to one hour earlier.
Needless to say it changed.
8:45 changed from go to school to go to sign.
4:10 changed from go home to go crazy. None of you reading this have any rights to complain about my present-day penchant for puns ever again.
Meanwhile, I was trying to organize 10,000 He counted. thoughts and questions at once. I was sort of arguing with myself Leave it to the expert, kiddo. Nobody does it as well as a Tulpamancer does. about the biggest question I had. What do I do now? What I wanted to do was scream.
I finally started to get another thought. It was the thought I explained earlier. I was hungry. I was quick to counter that thought with a thought I said out loud. “Do I have any money?” I don’t know why I had jeans on. I didn’t wear them to bed. I checked in my pocket and found weird little coins that added up to 27 zen. Yeah, “Zen.” I did not know that this was a real word, nor was I aware of the name for the currency in Mega Man Legends. This was just some random thing, though I do think I based it off “yen.” Because changing one letter was apparently creative back then. What’s zen!? I never heard of zen. Is 27 zen rich?
Face it, you’re poor
I went into the restaurant If memory serves, I initially considered specifically making it a McDonalds. I did not, though, and a good thing, too. That would reduce the otherworldliness of this place. Alternative comment I considered using: The Kid went into The Restaurant to become The Guy using The Gun. to get some food and a cheeseburger cost 80 zen. Well, that kinda puts wisdom and enlightenment into perspective. So much for survival. I was very hungry. I wasn’t going to give up. However, I wasn’t going to steal food. I definitely wasn’t going to beg for it. The same question I had earlier came back again… what do I do now? I left the store and went into the forest. I had to face it. I had to accept the struggle for survival. I had no choice. Except,y’know, telling the people there what is going on. Even if you omit the parts that people may not believe, you could explain that you are lost and do not know where your parents are. I was poor
A day in the woods, then another Original title, do not steal.
What a survivor I am. It took two hours to find a mulberry tree. A rather favorite fruit of mine back then. I have not had it in years. Actually, I do not think I had it since before I wrote this story. I miss mulberries. And mulberry jelly. When I was done there was no edible fruit left and I was still hungry. But his HP and MP were fully restored, so at least there’s that. “I’m gonna die. I’m going to be found dead on the ground. They’ll never know I’m… I’m… oh my god I forgot my name. Given my track record on memorizing things, I’m surprised I’ve not done the same. I’m 10 and I have a memory like someone 100 years old. Maybe I didn’t just forget… maybe something, or someone, made me forget.” I said. Dun dun DUUUUN! Life got all cloudy. Nothing was clear anymore. I wished I could take a vacation from life. In a way, isn’t sleep a vacation from life, kinda? I mean, sure, you’re still alive, but you get to dream of walruses dancing in a giant apple pie while singing the Brady Bunch theme.
I went to sleep at that same tree. It was a rough night. It was cold and dirty. About 5 minutes after I woke up it started raining. I usually like rain but this rain made it colder. What I wouldn’t have done for a cheeseburger. But alas, everything I touch turns to chocolate.
Some old man came up to me and asked me my name. What I really wanted to know was who he was. I answered “I’m Hot rod. Who’re you?” Okay, I know the authorial reason, but from an in-character perspective, why that name?
The new path
If the first day in this world were given a rating 1-10 I’d give it a big fat 0. Look, I know it’s kinda round, but you don’t have to call it fat. It’s just… big-pixeled, is all. This old man He played ten. gave me a thought worth thinking about. He said maybe this wasn’t just a coincidence. He said maybe it was something else. He said that evil has started getting more powerful and that maybe I was sent here to help. “Hello. This is Mr. Herald. I am looking for someone named Zenwan? D. Cho Zenwan?” – TVTropes It probably wasn’t true but I did start trying to find ways to help the town. The story of hot rod had begun. No, I’m pretty sure the story started a couple pages back.
Oh, and by the way, this is part one of 22, so buckle your seatbelts, everyone; this show has just begun.
This, for those who do not know, is a rather old story, made when I was a mere ten years old. As such, this story is, well, bad. However, I feel it is bad in an enjoyable way that is worth sharing with the world. Feel free to make fun of ten-year-old-me's writing! I do that a lot, myself, in the annotations.
Just be warned, everyone: This is going to be a very strange journey.
<<< PREV | FIRST | NEXT >>>
==========
Annotations in red. Annotations pertaining to something not visible in plain text are omitted from this transcription
The Adventures of Hot rod
Well, this is going to be quite a wild ride.
Welcome, my friends, to the annotated version of The Adventures of Hot Rod. But first, a bit of backstory on the character. This character was created a LONG time ago. It was not created for this story, but in fact was conceptualized long before it, as a character for my daydreams who would go on a wide variety of adventures.
The story, so you know, was started when I was ten. The character creation may have been as early as when I was 8. As such, this is not my best character or my best writing.
This character is clearly a Mary Sue. All I knew about the name when choosing it was that “hot rod” was the name for some sort of cool object of some sort and thus might make a good character name. Only much later did I realize the correlation to automated transportation apparatus.
In addition, the character, in appearance and flight ability, is a copy of Tails, though I must give myself credit for actually, acknowledging this and incorporating it into the story. In addition, in my mind, the character had many, many powers. Psychic powers, fire breath and immunity, flight (as mentioned), bubble powers (why yes, I had Bubble Bobble when I was a child, why do you ask?), and probably other things that I do not recall off the top of my head.
The character in this story is not quite so powerful and, in fact, starts off as human. It is still a Mary Sue, even if not as much of one as the original incarnation, but I do hold a sort of fondness for this story, really. It is so cheesy and off the wall that it is quite enjoyable, in an ironic way.
This story, I recall, was VERY fun to write. Writer's block was non-existent, because the sparse detail and crazy setting meant that I could flit between plots and styles to fit whatever I wanted to write at the moment. This is the one way in which my writing in this story is admittedly better than my more recent writing. There are many ways in which my more recent writing is superior, of course.
By Jesse Hammond
All games, songs, and movies mentioned in this book are real Apparently, back then, I somehow thought this would protect me from lawyers. Fortunately, obscurity did the trick just fine.
Hot rod
The beginning Ah, youthful creativity...
The Arrival The comment
What a strange thing to find out. All I did was go to sleep and guess what I wake up to. I wake up to realize that I’m in some crazy zone of fantasy. The only shred of reality was my hunger. I was a bit thirsty too. Neither of which I realized at the moment. Ah yes, first person perspective. I must say, it adds a lot of character to this story. I would later become more refined in terms of first-person narration, but this was a fair first stab, for my age.
I don’t think I would’ve realized if a rock hit me in the head Well, yes, that is true. Being unconscious from a concussion generally inhibits one’s ability to notice stuff. but I realized this... a sign reading “welcome to Adther.”
That’s a sign that might as well read “it’s hopeless.” You don’t know what you have until what you have is still real and you’re fake. Okay, I will admit, that line was clever, even if he should not yet know that he is in a fantasy world. Though this is past-tense narration, it still is out of place.
What do I do now?
My average schedule is:
7:00) wake up
8:45) go to school
4:10) go home
9:30) go to bed I remember looking upon this schedule in envy, when I went to middle school and realized that everything was shifted to one hour earlier.
Needless to say it changed.
8:45 changed from go to school to go to sign.
4:10 changed from go home to go crazy. None of you reading this have any rights to complain about my present-day penchant for puns ever again.
Meanwhile, I was trying to organize 10,000 He counted. thoughts and questions at once. I was sort of arguing with myself Leave it to the expert, kiddo. Nobody does it as well as a Tulpamancer does. about the biggest question I had. What do I do now? What I wanted to do was scream.
I finally started to get another thought. It was the thought I explained earlier. I was hungry. I was quick to counter that thought with a thought I said out loud. “Do I have any money?” I don’t know why I had jeans on. I didn’t wear them to bed. I checked in my pocket and found weird little coins that added up to 27 zen. Yeah, “Zen.” I did not know that this was a real word, nor was I aware of the name for the currency in Mega Man Legends. This was just some random thing, though I do think I based it off “yen.” Because changing one letter was apparently creative back then. What’s zen!? I never heard of zen. Is 27 zen rich?
Face it, you’re poor
I went into the restaurant If memory serves, I initially considered specifically making it a McDonalds. I did not, though, and a good thing, too. That would reduce the otherworldliness of this place. Alternative comment I considered using: The Kid went into The Restaurant to become The Guy using The Gun. to get some food and a cheeseburger cost 80 zen. Well, that kinda puts wisdom and enlightenment into perspective. So much for survival. I was very hungry. I wasn’t going to give up. However, I wasn’t going to steal food. I definitely wasn’t going to beg for it. The same question I had earlier came back again… what do I do now? I left the store and went into the forest. I had to face it. I had to accept the struggle for survival. I had no choice. Except,y’know, telling the people there what is going on. Even if you omit the parts that people may not believe, you could explain that you are lost and do not know where your parents are. I was poor
A day in the woods, then another Original title, do not steal.
What a survivor I am. It took two hours to find a mulberry tree. A rather favorite fruit of mine back then. I have not had it in years. Actually, I do not think I had it since before I wrote this story. I miss mulberries. And mulberry jelly. When I was done there was no edible fruit left and I was still hungry. But his HP and MP were fully restored, so at least there’s that. “I’m gonna die. I’m going to be found dead on the ground. They’ll never know I’m… I’m… oh my god I forgot my name. Given my track record on memorizing things, I’m surprised I’ve not done the same. I’m 10 and I have a memory like someone 100 years old. Maybe I didn’t just forget… maybe something, or someone, made me forget.” I said. Dun dun DUUUUN! Life got all cloudy. Nothing was clear anymore. I wished I could take a vacation from life. In a way, isn’t sleep a vacation from life, kinda? I mean, sure, you’re still alive, but you get to dream of walruses dancing in a giant apple pie while singing the Brady Bunch theme.
I went to sleep at that same tree. It was a rough night. It was cold and dirty. About 5 minutes after I woke up it started raining. I usually like rain but this rain made it colder. What I wouldn’t have done for a cheeseburger. But alas, everything I touch turns to chocolate.
Some old man came up to me and asked me my name. What I really wanted to know was who he was. I answered “I’m Hot rod. Who’re you?” Okay, I know the authorial reason, but from an in-character perspective, why that name?
The new path
If the first day in this world were given a rating 1-10 I’d give it a big fat 0. Look, I know it’s kinda round, but you don’t have to call it fat. It’s just… big-pixeled, is all. This old man He played ten. gave me a thought worth thinking about. He said maybe this wasn’t just a coincidence. He said maybe it was something else. He said that evil has started getting more powerful and that maybe I was sent here to help. “Hello. This is Mr. Herald. I am looking for someone named Zenwan? D. Cho Zenwan?” – TVTropes It probably wasn’t true but I did start trying to find ways to help the town. The story of hot rod had begun. No, I’m pretty sure the story started a couple pages back.
Oh, and by the way, this is part one of 22, so buckle your seatbelts, everyone; this show has just begun.
Category Story / Fantasy
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 24.9 kB
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