Heh, I can't provide too much crit, all I can offer is wussy comments. I really liked how you characterized April and Raph, it was a new angle I'm not use to seeing in TMNT fanfics. It was a nice change of pace to see April be aggressive and predominate in the story an add a bit of backbone to it. She rarely gets much of a real role in stories besides small scenes where she's barely there, but mentioned/used as a prop.

Also Raph's emotions fits the idea of a teenage reaction very well, he feels more like a teenager here then ninja. Its REALLY nice to see that for a change. Most people (Including myself sometimes) write him like an adult, when he's pretty much a sixteen year old/seventeen year old boy who's got a tude. He's being selfish and thinking about himself, that's what most teenagers do, we don't generally see it in fanfic so I was pleased to read it in your writing.

Keep up the writing, I'd like to see where this goes!

Thank you so much:)

I've gotten some good reviews about how I portrayed April. I think she could be used SO MUCH BETTER.

Not just a oh so helpful prop that is able to support four teenagers and a giant rat xD Specially when she's got a shop that's probably not doing so well. With all that under her belt she SHOULD be acting like this!

Glad Raphael's got his act slightly back together.


But all I can say about their little exchanges at the end is CUTE!!! CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE CUTE!!!

haha, aww :)

Yeah, I figure, like with everything, Raph just needs some time to cool off and think about it.

Since this is a permanent change, I think he needed more time. But he usually makes the right decision in the end :)

Nice finish; you gonna write it out?

Yeah, I'm working on finishing chapter 1. Chapter 2 is already up. I've got everything planned out :)

What chapter is this?

And where are the others? It would be nice if there was a link to the next and previous chapters in the author's comments.

They aren't up yet. I was just testing things out and seeing how people reacted to them.

I'll put everything up when they're all done.

OKAY!!!