a worthy (and more managably sized) sequel to the original story. I look forward to what follows

It's only manageable because I'm doing it a chapter at a time, the stories are about the same length. More to come next Wednesday.

Finally got around to beginning this. You definitely got the atmosphere going in this already--both of former-Fox's worries and the potential crash of the ship.

There were a few typos I spotted, if you wish people to mention those:

--Krystal was waiting for her in the hallway, dressed in a brown jumpsuit that was unflattering to her figure. [IT] hung in bags off her shoulders and hips...

--"Why would I be okay? I'm about to return to a world where I don't officially [EXIST]...

Crud; there was one other where a word such as "in" was missing, but I can't find it now. Sorry about that.

Wow.. now this story is rather nicely put together. And given the beginning of it.. realistically too. Given the current economy, it's easy to relate to.


I like the starting point of it. Lisitza more or less contemplating "what can I do for work." Even though it's small time, having to take what comes. And it looked like the same for the rest of the team without Fox backing them up, as he was the big name behind them, and they were unwanted without him. So for the beginning, they're more or less counting up money and seeing what they have for expenses and fuel. Much like people paying bills in the now. I like that.



Moving past that, I happen to like how the transition goes, after Kyrstal enters. It's building her character as they talk about their 'official' lives and then Falco. The 'feelings like that bothered her a great deal' line is clever as she's still adjusting to being female and it's showing. People don't just naturally switch like that simply because of switch in gender. And that.. it pretty interesting as not many people would really take that into account.




I like how it flows from from the exposition of Liz's life and how she's trying to be a real person within the eyes of the law (I suppose it's working out the paper work and the like) into the situation with the ship and then, despite the bickering with Falco that was being done...everyone has to start working together and acting the like the crew they're known as.


And after a rough landing, it shows Slippy still a bit.. embittered with Krystal to some degree, but ll of them, although a bit shaken at that landing, still able to go about normally. And that would leave a good opening for the second chapter.




Truth be told, I can that it was enjoyable reading. It wasn't overbearing, and there weren't any unreasonable circumstances that happened in it. I know it was updated a time ago, but like any good story, no matter when it's read, a good story will stay good.


..this, happening to be no different.
Good job here Vikky~

Thank for your all the nice words. It makes me smile :) I'm also glad that all the characterization has come through, this story is really about the charterers so I'm glad that's work. :)

I'm glad you enjoyed the story. :)