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um hi guys, idk i thought i'd finally share a little bit about whats going on with me lately
it seems like it'd be easier for me to come here and vent a bit and just letting you guys know whats been going on
ok so just recently i, needed to go to someone for help recently because ive just been fucking miserble emotionally.
my brain just..hurt me from the inside out? it'd tell me things that weren't true like
"your husband doesn't love you, you need to fix this"
"youre a horrible friend"
"you don't deserve all your nice things"
and I didn't realize how much these things ate me up inside and i tried my very hardest to be positive but it just destroyed me.
and instead of getting help, I let it grow. these past few months i've been so drained and i ended up not feeling up to the things I love to do.
i barely wanted to take care of myself..
but this whole time i just kept it to myself..i didnt want to admit to myself that i did have a problem, i tried to fix it myself.
i didn't want to seem needy or whiny because hey, my outside life is pretty good! but in my head idk what happened
i didn't want to bother or make my family and friends worry about me. and i just recently came to the realization that i've been fucking myself up by doing this and that i've been like this since the fucking beginning lol
back in grade school through middle i got bullied pretty hard and had other personal problems but instead of asking for help, i just tried to handle it myself.
i had a abusive friend, low self esteem, horrible body image. but I just had me, myself, and I.
being left alone with my thoughts, i guess my brain doesn't have a cap anymore, like there isn't a thought that's too extreme even if I burst into tears because hey its just a thought, right?
a couple of days ago I thought about something I thought I never would, and I literally wanted myself to stop thinking about it.
but the idea was so..tempting like it would really ease all my internal torture. I just thought:
"your husband doesn't love you so why don't you just go hurt yourself and maybe then he'll care?"
it was so bad i couldn't believe myself. so the next day I just decided to finally go to someone to talk to about this.
and it was..really reassuring. made me feel like my emotions aren't crazy, and I just need to learn to control them but also not to feel so bad about asking for help from someone.
I always feel like I need to keep to myself so I don't bother anyone..and i need to stop that.
i just felt i needed to vent here, if you read this whole thing thank you really. it was kinda hard to admit this to myself let alone upload this tbh..but i felt like, i needed to you know?
it seems like it'd be easier for me to come here and vent a bit and just letting you guys know whats been going on
ok so just recently i, needed to go to someone for help recently because ive just been fucking miserble emotionally.
my brain just..hurt me from the inside out? it'd tell me things that weren't true like
"your husband doesn't love you, you need to fix this"
"youre a horrible friend"
"you don't deserve all your nice things"
and I didn't realize how much these things ate me up inside and i tried my very hardest to be positive but it just destroyed me.
and instead of getting help, I let it grow. these past few months i've been so drained and i ended up not feeling up to the things I love to do.
i barely wanted to take care of myself..
but this whole time i just kept it to myself..i didnt want to admit to myself that i did have a problem, i tried to fix it myself.
i didn't want to seem needy or whiny because hey, my outside life is pretty good! but in my head idk what happened
i didn't want to bother or make my family and friends worry about me. and i just recently came to the realization that i've been fucking myself up by doing this and that i've been like this since the fucking beginning lol
back in grade school through middle i got bullied pretty hard and had other personal problems but instead of asking for help, i just tried to handle it myself.
i had a abusive friend, low self esteem, horrible body image. but I just had me, myself, and I.
being left alone with my thoughts, i guess my brain doesn't have a cap anymore, like there isn't a thought that's too extreme even if I burst into tears because hey its just a thought, right?
a couple of days ago I thought about something I thought I never would, and I literally wanted myself to stop thinking about it.
but the idea was so..tempting like it would really ease all my internal torture. I just thought:
"your husband doesn't love you so why don't you just go hurt yourself and maybe then he'll care?"
it was so bad i couldn't believe myself. so the next day I just decided to finally go to someone to talk to about this.
and it was..really reassuring. made me feel like my emotions aren't crazy, and I just need to learn to control them but also not to feel so bad about asking for help from someone.
I always feel like I need to keep to myself so I don't bother anyone..and i need to stop that.
i just felt i needed to vent here, if you read this whole thing thank you really. it was kinda hard to admit this to myself let alone upload this tbh..but i felt like, i needed to you know?
Category All / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 517 x 620px
File Size 97 kB
Listed in Folders
-big bear hugs- :c
You go for speaking vocally about this. A lot of people suffer from this, myself included. It takes a lot for me to talk about my feelings with people sometimes, but I've been doing better at coming out about it.
It still eats me up inside, but I've found ways of coping like gaming and certain herbal meds and what not. Doesn't work for everyone though.
thanks a lot though! Good for you and I hope things work out for you! Really!
You go for speaking vocally about this. A lot of people suffer from this, myself included. It takes a lot for me to talk about my feelings with people sometimes, but I've been doing better at coming out about it.
It still eats me up inside, but I've found ways of coping like gaming and certain herbal meds and what not. Doesn't work for everyone though.
thanks a lot though! Good for you and I hope things work out for you! Really!
I cannot tell you how relatable this is...
I'm so glad you were able to go and talk to someone about it, that's something I have a huge problem with... I'm really good at keeping the really bad things to myself and hiding them most of the time.
I know we don't really know each other but, I'm proud of you for doing it. I hope things get better for you really soon <3
I'm so glad you were able to go and talk to someone about it, that's something I have a huge problem with... I'm really good at keeping the really bad things to myself and hiding them most of the time.
I know we don't really know each other but, I'm proud of you for doing it. I hope things get better for you really soon <3
I feel that a LOT of people have been thinking and feeling these sort of things lately. Why? Who knows!
I say lately lightly, because it is only lately that people are coming out of their shells to actually say something about it, as opposed to keeping it in for far too long.
There are lots of people who understand what you are feeling, so it's great that you felt the need to let it out. Release it. Releasing it may not feel like the right thing at first, but you'll feel it as you let it go more and more.
Good job, Misha. You can do it. ♥
I say lately lightly, because it is only lately that people are coming out of their shells to actually say something about it, as opposed to keeping it in for far too long.
There are lots of people who understand what you are feeling, so it's great that you felt the need to let it out. Release it. Releasing it may not feel like the right thing at first, but you'll feel it as you let it go more and more.
Good job, Misha. You can do it. ♥
Been going through some of that for years as well. Excellent idea to get help - marital counselling - assuming your hubby does love you (how could he not?) he needs to know that he needs to express that with gestures, words, etc, that you need that, and he prolly wants you to trust that he loves you when he's too stressed to be "demonstrative" - but i think everyone has a right to being hugged, cuddled, kissed and told "i love you" everyday in a relationship....so this might help to find what stresses he is under and doesn't feel safe talking about? Anyway it sounds like a good start to resolve this problem - not pretending it doesn't exist - might be you, might be him, talking with a trained councillor will help. Got a few thousands folks here who think you're wonderful and wish you all happiness!
Misha, please know you can always talk to me.
It doesn't matter if you do or don't deserve the things you have, you have them. You have them and you can enjoy them without any guilt.
I know I think you're a wonderful friend, you're so sweet, kind, and funny.
I truly hope you get the help you need, I don't want you to suffer like this.
And you don't have to suffer alone. I'm the same, I don't talk about my problems much and bottle them up until I break down. But the rare opportunity where I do talk them out, feels so much better. So please, if you need someone to talk to, I am here.
I'm wishing you the best and sending much love your way Misha, you'll get through this. 💖💖💖
It doesn't matter if you do or don't deserve the things you have, you have them. You have them and you can enjoy them without any guilt.
I know I think you're a wonderful friend, you're so sweet, kind, and funny.
I truly hope you get the help you need, I don't want you to suffer like this.
And you don't have to suffer alone. I'm the same, I don't talk about my problems much and bottle them up until I break down. But the rare opportunity where I do talk them out, feels so much better. So please, if you need someone to talk to, I am here.
I'm wishing you the best and sending much love your way Misha, you'll get through this. 💖💖💖
You ALWAYS have everyone's ears on here to listen to your thoughts and worries, Never be afraid or hesitant to say what's bothering you and ask for help -^^-
It sucks that you have to experience this and had to deal with it on your own for so long but like many of the people before my comment have said, at least you finally talked to someone to help feel a little better and work towards feeling completely better!
Like I said, you always got ears willing to listen here on FA -^^-
It sucks that you have to experience this and had to deal with it on your own for so long but like many of the people before my comment have said, at least you finally talked to someone to help feel a little better and work towards feeling completely better!
Like I said, you always got ears willing to listen here on FA -^^-
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