more sedate that the first but it maintains the artistic merit and manages to take the story out of the territory of near-constant action while maintaining interest.

I like the general direction you're taking with the story

This story's getting more interesting

Can't wait for chapter 3

It's interesting how you sometimes use "older/younger vixen." It nicely hammers home how they're exactly the same in all but experience.

A few more typos:

--She [LIFTED] her hand to block the sun and looked over the ship.

--She walked up to the docking bay doors. The locking clamps had [TAKEN] a lot of damage, twisting out of true and melting in places. There was no way they would be able [TO] open them without a little persuasion.

--"We must insist," the bear said, sounding even more annoyed than his species [NORMALLY] would.

--As she approached the ship, she was pleased to see the [HANGAR] door starting to slide open.

Part of that is because I don't like having a character name with every action/dialog, it's a nice side benefit that it helps show how they aren't the same.

Ah.. and continuing from last time. Well, the repair portion of the first chapter as they crew landed well enough. I'll have to immediately applaud you for giving a recap of the damage to show how bad it really was. (And showing that they won't quite be leaving where they are for a spot of a while..) Another thing that was well put in? The idea of how much it would cost to repair it and how much insurance would cover. I have yet to EVER see that in a story, and although this was uploaded a year ago, I still have yet to see anyone use that. And just like any car, they're judging whether or not to scrap the whole thing and buy a new one or have it repaired. I like the realistic ideas in this which show that the characters have normal thoughts and reactions to events like this.




And then there would be the scene of Lisitza trying to get the door open so she can salvage what she can and the obligatory 'stuffed suits' being overly pushy in trying to get her to come with her to the office. I notice a reoccurring theme of everyone always being annoyed by high ranking personnel..both in stories and in the news. It's like you simply can't win with them. I will give kudos though for having Falco step in. That shows exactly who has a bit more authority and who'd really be on the losing end if it really came down to it.


As the story progresses, with Falco helping Lisitza out with opening the door, then her coming back to 'the boys in blue,' here would be..where I notice you put in a lot of innovative ideas into your writing that people usually wouldn't pick up on. The two best examples of this are Lis (I'll shorten it starting here) knowing she's in the wrong body, and WHEN it is she does, and her sitting in a chair and noticing it pinches her tail. ...No one really speaks about uncomfortable chairs with furry anatomy, and I found that...kind of well...genius actually.




Afterwords, you have a nice ending to show what she's thinking about on the drive to the superior's office. It's a nice image and shows not only what's going through her head (why she' snot fond of returning and her past MALE life) and the image of the skyline being shown. And that's..a good way to leave it until chapter 3 starts.


That's what I'm enjoying about this story. It's easy to follow, yet still gives away a lot. The characters are well known already, but you're still giving them depth by adding in what they're thinking short and long term, and with reasonable interactions between them that aren't going outside their canon personalities.




I'll apologize for this being as long as it is, but you seems to have put a bit of time into making that story. It's only polite I put just a fraction of that into telling you why I enjoy it. Then again, I'm probably the only person on Furaffinity that still believes in doing that.



....You're a rather amazing writer you know. It's just be insulting if I didn't do this much.

The insurance thing came from some real life experience when I was in a car accident a few years back. Came fairly close to having the car totaled, and I had only had it for six weeks! (It was also six weeks old, brand new car). The net effect is that I think about such things. :)