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RareReplayArtJam - Ze Professor/The Weasel King
"I. Didn't. LOSE. The crown..."
"It was STOLEN from me!"
Ze Professor aka The Weasel King aka Von Kripplespac from Conker's Bad Fur Day/Conker: Live and Reloaded for the #RareReplayArtJam.
I'm really sad Conker's Bad Fur Day never got a sequel or anything, because this guy would've been a great returning antagonist. Weasels do prey on squirrels...
Being a major fan of this character is kind of frustrating because the X-Box remake really hits him with so many retcons that it completely befuddles everything, from his motivations to his backstory. And also gives him a last name with the word "cripple" in it. (After years without a name, I was hoping he'd get something more...clever) And also, despite being on superior hardware, makes him less emotive and with less body language and with a more rigid facial structure.
In the first game, while they don't state outright what Ze Professor's deal is, they leave enough breadcrumbs that sync up with the manual. The Fairy Panther King won a war against The Weasel King and, as punishment, chopped his legs off. Now, they didn't say he removed anything else, so it's reasonable to assume that years of working with The Panther King took a heavy toll on his body.
The remake...then decides it's way more dramatic to have some random squirrel soldier blow up the building he was in in a past war, and lol there went his legs and everything else!
And yeah, I realize I look dumb complaining about the story of a video game that has a talking pile of feces.
The way I see it, Ze Professor lost his other limbs gradually. After chopping off his legs, The Panther King thought he could break him through servitude. The Weasel King's real punishment, instead of dying, would be to live and watch his kingdom fall. But living didn't mean being intact. The first offense, just speaking out of turn, cost him a finger. Dropping a glass of milk, that was his ear. An assassination attempt foiled by a squeaky wheel in his wheelchair (thus causing him to go with the levitating chair idea) cost him the entire left half of his face. A failed rebellion with the other weasel guards cost him the rest of his left arm (and most of the weasel staff, but Panther King probably goes through like 80 weasel guards a year).
But, after the loss of his left arm, suddenly Ze Professor changed. Suddenly he was a chipper, subservient bootlicker, the very picture of simpering lackey. He was all about fixing tables and fetching him milk. And the Panther King was pleased because he finally squashed his spirit, finally got rid of that spark of life that kept the weasel alive for so long.
What The Fairy Panther King failed to realize was that he did not break The Weasel King.
The Weasel King was going to break him.
"It was STOLEN from me!"
Ze Professor aka The Weasel King aka Von Kripplespac from Conker's Bad Fur Day/Conker: Live and Reloaded for the #RareReplayArtJam.
I'm really sad Conker's Bad Fur Day never got a sequel or anything, because this guy would've been a great returning antagonist. Weasels do prey on squirrels...
Being a major fan of this character is kind of frustrating because the X-Box remake really hits him with so many retcons that it completely befuddles everything, from his motivations to his backstory. And also gives him a last name with the word "cripple" in it. (After years without a name, I was hoping he'd get something more...clever) And also, despite being on superior hardware, makes him less emotive and with less body language and with a more rigid facial structure.
In the first game, while they don't state outright what Ze Professor's deal is, they leave enough breadcrumbs that sync up with the manual. The Fairy Panther King won a war against The Weasel King and, as punishment, chopped his legs off. Now, they didn't say he removed anything else, so it's reasonable to assume that years of working with The Panther King took a heavy toll on his body.
The remake...then decides it's way more dramatic to have some random squirrel soldier blow up the building he was in in a past war, and lol there went his legs and everything else!
And yeah, I realize I look dumb complaining about the story of a video game that has a talking pile of feces.
The way I see it, Ze Professor lost his other limbs gradually. After chopping off his legs, The Panther King thought he could break him through servitude. The Weasel King's real punishment, instead of dying, would be to live and watch his kingdom fall. But living didn't mean being intact. The first offense, just speaking out of turn, cost him a finger. Dropping a glass of milk, that was his ear. An assassination attempt foiled by a squeaky wheel in his wheelchair (thus causing him to go with the levitating chair idea) cost him the entire left half of his face. A failed rebellion with the other weasel guards cost him the rest of his left arm (and most of the weasel staff, but Panther King probably goes through like 80 weasel guards a year).
But, after the loss of his left arm, suddenly Ze Professor changed. Suddenly he was a chipper, subservient bootlicker, the very picture of simpering lackey. He was all about fixing tables and fetching him milk. And the Panther King was pleased because he finally squashed his spirit, finally got rid of that spark of life that kept the weasel alive for so long.
What The Fairy Panther King failed to realize was that he did not break The Weasel King.
The Weasel King was going to break him.
Category Artwork (Digital) / Fanart
Species Weasel
Size 931 x 1280px
File Size 206.4 kB
Listed in Folders
It gets better/worse: The word "spac" in British slang means stupid or a stupid person, so his last name is literally "stupid cripple".
Class act, Rareware. (I mean this is also the game that bills itself as being South Park with squirrels but still...)
It's one of the reasons why I just stick to the N64 game and just ignore the huge mess that is Ze Prof's backstory in the remake. Imagine being a fan of this guy, following news of the then-upcoming remake, and then finding out that THAT'S his real name (no first name either). I was a bitter kid that day...
Class act, Rareware. (I mean this is also the game that bills itself as being South Park with squirrels but still...)
It's one of the reasons why I just stick to the N64 game and just ignore the huge mess that is Ze Prof's backstory in the remake. Imagine being a fan of this guy, following news of the then-upcoming remake, and then finding out that THAT'S his real name (no first name either). I was a bitter kid that day...
In the original CBFD manual, it says that when The Milk Wars concluded, the Fairy Panther King, who won the war, chopped the legs off of the loser, the Weasel King. So Ze Professor's legs were removed by force. (and yes I know Live and Reloaded gave him a different backstory but that backstory sucks and doesn't count)
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