Lonesome

- And another Valentine's day I pass alone. began Vanessa. No roses, no chocolate, no present...
- Is that a day which only exist for the presents? asked Daji
- It's just a commercial day for the lovers...
- You're just bitter.
- And I have ALL the reasons to be bitter...
- Give me one then! challenged Daji
- You kissed Arès Fox...
- Oh... Yeah... Don't worry, it was just a kiss, nothing to worry about =)
- I just don't understand. It's like the whole world wants to prevent me to date him. When I was so close to admit that I love him, your sister arrived and...
- Stole him from you?
- Exactly...
- You know, I watched every of your actions way before Bothan woke up from her cryonesis stase. And you've refused his love years ago.
- A voice told me not to accept his love.
- Voice? asked Daji
- I now can name that voice. Freya. She prevented me to accept his love.
- That can be understandable. After all, you're sort of brother and sister, you're the copy of the Alphas, and Freya would have prevented such an incest. But I have to disagree with your version. If that was true that Freya prevented you to date him, Aesir would have done the very same than Freya but he let Arès asking you to be his girlfriend. I think that you weren't ready for such a relationship, hesitating between your friend statut and a lover one which could have ruined that rare and extremely valuable your friendship was.

Daji let a short moment and analysed the reaction of the young woman before to continue her thoughts.

- If there's a person to blame, that's not Freya your alter-ego but you who feared to lose your friend. When you refused his love, you hurted him and maybe humiliated him. That's certainly why he then never saw all the affection you gave him after that.
- Daji, you may be right, but Freya truly DOES prevent me to love. It's not just Arès, but everyone... As far as I know, it was kind the same for Arès, untill Bothan arrived. Why does Aesir let Arès to love Bothan then?
- There's one thing I can tell : the Alphas have their reasons.
- Why am I the only one who's forbidden to love?
- I'm in such a situation too, Vanessa. I'm the empress of an empire, and I don't have time for such a thing. It's not like I don't want to share time with someone I appreciate, it's just that I can't, due to my grade. When Bothan will accept to return to Bubastis, I will give her my crown and then will take some rest. But 'till that day, I'm condamned to be a lonely empress who leads her empire. There's no difference between you and me if you think about it.
- Except that I'm just a weapon, created to be the body of the soul of Freya... How can I accept that?
- One word then : abnegation.
- You mean, I'm a weapon and I have to deny love even to myself and to focus on my duties, for the sake of humanity?
- For the sake of all life-being... To lead an empire requires the very same abnegation. It's difficult and I often curse the fate for that, but that's our fate.
- Daji, you...
- I'm fully aware that I was close to crush the humanity. But there's time when you have to admit you were wrong and did some mistakes. If you want to talk about our faults, let's go home and let's chat about it, with a cup of hot chocolate to warm us =)
- You're quite wise, for once.
- For ONCE?!
- Let's do that then. let's drown our bitterness of being lonely today with a good and warm chocolate. That will help us to forget there's no love for both of us.
- Ttttt, there's love for everyone of us, even if that has to be somewhere in the whole universe. Just believe me on that!

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Sorry for the long comment, I've just wanted to picture a long chat between Daji and Freya.

I dedicate this pic for all of you who passed this day without that special person. Some would say that there's love for everyone of us, like Daji said.
I will not repeat myself then.
That may be just a cake, but that's still a lovely cake we all totally have to go after. Have faith in love, and don't give up.

Vanessa Kiléo & Kitsune Daji © Amiral Aesir

Watercolors the 14th February 2009.