Tbh it’s been really hard these past month or two seeing as my colony dropped from 9 to 4. It really does feel like I lost children and I lost some really important friends. I miss them so bad and I’ve been incredibly depressed to the point of barely being able to take care of myself and ended up relapsing with self harm. Most of my rats are rescues from really horrible conditions, My boys were nearly three when I had to make the decision to have them put down. I keep paw impressions in the drawer of my desk and touch them regularly. But I’m trying to remind myself I need to be here for the ones I have left and I’m going to spoil them silly.

I love my babies with all my heart and they are literally my world.