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Okay, I actually have things to tell about this one.
NOW IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SPOILED, I ADVISE YOU TO READ THE CHAPTER BEFORE READING MY EXPLANATIONS HERE.
First, know that it's only the half of what I planned to upload. But the chapter became so big that I decided to split it in two parts. Now, why has it become so big? Simply because I had a lot to say in it.
Good artists and good writers are generally those who put soul in their creation, but I usually avoid to involve too much of my point of views because I don't like the idea of being judged on what matters to me. But in a way, I can say that I tried to put soul into this part.
If you're familiar with my work, you know there's a theme I love to write about, however childish it can looks : empathy, or the capacity to really understand the other. Why is that so important to me? Maybe because of my personal story, because I never really felt understood. Since I felt so out-of-reach for others, I wanted them to not feel the same, and I always tried to sincerely see things from their point of view. And I like to think I can, even if life tends to prove me I'm wrong once in a while. Over time, I grew fascinated by how different the thinking patterns and the emotional reactions of others were. I often see people as living enigmas.
But this is a gift that can also be a curse, because in my case, even if I often understand, I generally lack the capacity to use my words in a right way, and I'm not good at using them to actually provide help to those who would need some compassion in there life. And also because it's exhausting to feel what the other feels. When they are happy, it feels good and you're happy for them, but eventually it also throws you back to your own unhappiness and you wonder why this isn't happening to you. And when they feel bad, well... you simply struggle to not feel as bad as they do. It's the kind of gift that needs to come with some kind of firewalls. That's why I'm not so good at relationships, because isolation is a kind of protection, in the end of the day.
I sincerely think the world would be a better place if people sincerely tried to understand each other. Everyone wants to be understood. And often as a spectator, I witness many scenes that simply feel like nonsense. I see people getting angry at each other over misunderstandings, I see people unconsciously hurting each other because they don't take others' feelings in considerations when they speak or behave. And like it's been told in this chapter, I often have the feeling that this world creates the very monsters they are complaining about.
This is what I'm trying to show in these chapters. I'm not trying to complain or to be pitied, because all in all, I'm really proud of myself and I think this world isn't as bad as how it's pictured in the medias. Of course there are atrocities occuring every now and then, we had examples through the last year. But I feel like the world is not limited to that. I see good things too, and I think that's a real shame that we tend to give it so little credits compared to how we emphasize on bad things. In my point of view, understanding the other instead of hating him/her over judgement is already finding personal peace.
When we feel angry, when we feel disrespected, of course it can be because someone is really acting bad or selfishly. But maybe it's a false idea or a simple assumption. When we get a bad feeling about someone who simply looks mean, and we get to understand why he or she is behaving like that, of course it doesn't bring an excuse to the person, but we can get over it more easily.
As human beings, we're all the result of a unique personal history that forged our temper, our behavior pattern. And when we sincerely take the time to look closely, people generally appear less evil than they seemed to be in the first place. Like in the text, I also sometimes take the time to look and listen to people, and wonder if they measure how beautiful their souls can be.
That will be all for my little speech^^ I hope I didn't bore you this. I'm a dreamer, yes, but I'm also a realist, and surely not a lesson teller. It was just some personal thoughts I tried to put in my story, and that I wanted to share with my readers.
Stay tuned for the next part, I hope to release it soon :)
Amaria followed her human without a word as he walked hastily, straight to the prison. Anyway, no word from anyone could have stopped him right now. She knew it; she knew how stubborn he was when he was angry. And during all the time they had spent together, she had never seen him so furious.
A war was engaged, a human had been killed with a weapon her lover apparently wished to never see invented, and worse, it had been stolen right from his parents’ work, and given to a deadly enemy. Even if he rarely talked about them, she knew they were a sensitive subject to him. And after some kind of dark epiphany, he had decided to come back to this creepy building to talk to David, the kid who was imprisoned there.
If she wasn’t misinterpreting the events, her human considered the boy guilty for all this… and the dragoness feared that this time, he could cross the line and do something he might regret… She was going to know it soon enough.
When they arrived, a stare of furor from her lover was enough to make the guard freeze in place, not even moving a muscle as the keys were snatched from the shaking old hands. It was a really, really bad sign… If he opened the cell, in his state, he could be able to kill that child out of anger, or worse… be killed by the said child, who hated him more than anything on earth… No one, not even her, could tell what these two could be capable of…
The dragoness still didn’t dare to speak a word, but silently gathered her courage to do something if this meeting turned bad… She was strong, but her fear to hurt him might give him an advantage if she had to use the tough way… Everything was so uncertain!
They reached the end of the stairs too fast for her to think about a plan. Her lover immediately opened the door of the cell room angrily, pointing an accusing finger at the kid who seemed surprised from such an entrance.
“YOU!” he shouted. “I tried to be nice, I tried to forgive, but your cursed family is definitely the worst that ever lived in this city!”
“Finally being honest?” the boy mocked him, unimpressed.
That was a mistake. In his state, it only worsened his anger and he stepped forward to grab the bars furiously.
“Your father was a mean, horrible bastard and you’re not better than he was! And you know what?! I’m glad he assaulted me so I could erase to his very existence! Even in a grave, he still manages to make my life a living hell! Through you! Screw the Devons! I’m done trying to give you a chance!”
Her suspicions were right… He did suppose that this kid was responsible for the situation. Remaining silent, she clenched her teeth. She didn’t like seeing him so close to this kid, even with metal bars separating them. Who knew what David could do? He had tried to kill her lover before… As long as her human didn’t open the cells, she decided to not intervene. After all, she had to trust him, however scary it was. Yet, with a bit of shame, she had to admit that it was hard to trust her human in such a state…
“You don’t talk about my father like that!” The boy replied, reacting instantly to these words. “He was a better man than you’ll ever be!”
“Your father created a deadly weapon and you gave it to the enemy! All because you blindly followed him like a dog and couldn’t bear the truth!”
“What? I didn’t do anything! It’s another lie of yours!”
To her surprise, David seemed totally sincere. She didn’t felt stress coming from him, but it wasn’t the same stress a liar experienced… not when it was mixed with anger like that… He could have been faking really well, but she doubted that such a young human could be able to prepare such a good reaction of surprise. This was the emotional reaction of wrongly accused person; she had seen it one or twice in her life… If he was truly innocent, it was only natural to feel scared and angry at the same time… But her lover, on the other hand, couldn’t feel this shade. He seemed to be convinced that David lied.
“Oh really?! That must be a coincidence that an army of men with guns is heading straight here!”
“What is a freaking gun?! You’re just accusing me because you want to take me down, like the rest of this city! Like I’m not down enough!”
“A gun! A deadly weapon that fires projectiles! And if I could, I would bring you down to hell for giving that to this crazy army! Your father surely told you everything about it, and you gladly took the succession! Are you so pleased to see people suffer?!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, but even though, I don’t care about seeing all of you die!”
Not abandoning her fear, the attention of the dragoness was attracted by something curious. There wasn’t just anger and fear boiling inside that kid… Pain… A discrete, hidden pain that fueled the fire of his aggressiveness. How could she have missed it all this time? Was it because of this specific verbal fight, or had she ignored it because she was more concerned about the danger he represented than his true self? With a bit of shame, she had to admit that she didn’t know… Could his pain be the reason why this kid said such horrible things?
“Innocent people are going to die!” Her lover exploded. “Families! Children! And you’ll sacrifice all of them because of your stupid revenge?!”
“They are all guilty to me! When I told them that this was my father they were burying, they didn’t listen! When I was in need, they all turned their back to me! And my revenge is surely not stupid, since you’re the worst of them all! I wish that you and your stupid overgrown lizard get killed first!”
Amaria held her breath as she saw her lover taking the keys, and starting to open the door of the cell. She tried to come and stop him, but the stare he threw at her froze her instantly. Since the beginning of their relationship, she had never witnessed such an aggressive, threatening attitude. Her instincts yelled at her to not get impressed and simply do what needed to be done, but this wasn’t any human in front of her. Her legs shaking from confusion and fear, she simply couldn’t move, her heart pounding hard into her chest as she saw him entering, grabbing the kid by his clothes and pushing him against the wall.
“We tried to make this world a better place!” he shouted furiously. “We tried to find a peaceful solution to the problems that ruin everyone’s life! We tried to put an end to the fights! What you and your horrible father brought is nothing but death and destruction!”
“My father wanted to give everyone the mean to defend themselves! What he wanted was to make this city strong! And your pathetic, idealistic dreams made it weaker than ever!”
“It is not being weak to respect life! You think your father wanted to make this city strong?! He only wanted to control it! He killed my parents, and he tried to kill me too!”
“You killed and humiliated him! How much for respecting life?! Keep your lies for the stupid people of this city! If they had listened to my father, no one would even dare to threaten them! These people chose to follow you, and they deserve what’s coming for them! Because they chose to be as weak as you are!”
“You followed him, and look where it led you! What kind of strength is that?! Is that strength to give to a crazy enemy the mean to eradicate this city?! Do you think you’re strong because you’ll be the cause of hundreds of innocents’ death?!”
“It is strength to be able to face your lies, to face the pitiful life I have because of you! People like you are a disease to all mankind, and the only reason why innocents die! Enemies target us because they think we’re weak! Strength is showing no mercy! Strength is crushing anyone who stands against us!”
“Strength is choosing to understand before trying to kill! Strength is the will to defend, not the will to attack! Your vision is nothing but tyranny and cruelty! And you’d sacrifice anyone to force it to others! Strong dominating the weak, is that the world you want to live in?!”
“The world I want to live in is a world where the weak doesn’t dominate the strong!”
“You’re a crazy psychopath whose mind is as perverted as your father’s!”
“You’re a hypocritical murdered!”
“YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING!” They yelled in a single voice.
Amaria closed her eyes when they both rose a hand, ready to punch each other. There was nothing she could do about it; they wouldn’t listen to any word she could say in their state, neither of them… Powerless, all she could do was not watching this. She would have wanted to think that they would calm down quickly, but she had a strong feeling that they wouldn’t…
In her mind, she was already picturing what was going to happen… Most likely, because of an obvious physical advantage, her lover was about to hurt David badly, even kill the kid in the worst case. After that, they would not only be at the center of a war, but also surrounded by the angry people of this city. Whatever she could think of, she didn’t see how all of this could end well…
However, surprisingly, the sound she heard wasn’t a groan of pain, or the nasty display of violence humans could show. It sounded more like… fabric being torn? Fearing what she could see, she still dared to open an eye… and saw something stupendous.
The two humans were standing still, with their punches ready to strike, but motionless. An ugly expression of hate and anger torn both of their faces, but none of them did a single move. They were… perfectly immobile…
“What’s going on?” She dropped, coming closer to look at them. “What are you doing?”
“They are both right, you know… Strength is being powerful enough to face the others, and to be able to show mercy.” A strange, echoing and familiar voice replied to her. Feeling her heart missing a beat, she looked behind, and saw the blurry shape of that being… The one that seemed to take so much pleasure in manipulating them. “They can’t hear you, anyway.”
“What have you done to them?!” She growled by reflex, knowing there was no use either in threat or physical violence.
“Basic time freeze. Well, basic to me, at least. Don’t worry, they’ll be perfectly fine. Or to be more accurate, they won’t be hurt because of this, they will handle the hurting stuff by themselves…” He said calmly, coming closer too, and ‘snapping’ his ghostly fingers between their faces. “I’m just giving us some… time… to analyze all this…”
“Analyze? What the hell are you talking about?!” She lost her nerves, a bit panicked by this whole crazy situation.
“I’ve always been curious about you dragons.” The shape simply replied, like he hadn’t heard her question. “You have such a special view on the world around you. So similar and yet, so different from humans’. I’d be interested in knowing your point of you on this... Look at them. Look at them carefully.”
A bit confused, shared between mixed feelings about this being and her desire to understand what this crazy ghost was talking about, she did look closer. However, she didn’t get what she was supposed to see… All she witnessed was the same, unmovable expression of animosity in the two humans frozen in front of her. Quite nasty faces…
“So what?” She asked.
“I want you to tell me what you see.”
She thought for a moment, observing them carefully. Yet, despite how closely she looked at their horrible faces, only one answer came to her:
“I don’t understand…”
“Your opinion. I want you to tell me what you see, how you feel about this.”
“And I told you, I don’t understand!” She replied, feeling tears of anger coming to her eyes. Seeing her lover frozen like this, with such a hateful expression, was hurting deeply the image of a nice and kind human she had of him. “I don’t understand anything! You, what you want, this war thing, them! I don’t understand any of these! Why are you doing all this?! What are you expecting me to tell you?!”
“This. Exactly this.” The ghost replied, nodding calmly. “The main difference between dragons, and humans… This is why I always loved your species… You have this ability to see all the nonsense, the craziness, the madness of what humans seem to care so much about. You see how pointless all of this is, and I know you feel lost, like their world is beyond reach. But actually, Amaria, this is a unique gift. A gift meant to be shared. And once you understand this, you’ll be able to fix everything. You and you alone.”
“I… still don’t understand…” She almost whimpered, both ashamed of her inability to understand and her tiredness from this madness. “Why are you…? Why are they…? Just… why? What can I do about all this?”
“First, you have to let go… Cry if you want to, roar if you feel like, but take your time to calm down and empty your head. I’m giving you all the time you need to think.” He said softly. And curiously, it was already a little help to her.
Half of a day. Just one half of a day separated her from the last time she simply enjoyed life with the one her heart beat for, and the present where everything seemed to collapse. How could this be? How could humans make the world, their little world, so complicated? Anger… Hatred… Violence… How could a simple day transform her lover into the ugly faced monster she had in front of her?
“I just want to know what happened…” She blew, mentally exhausted.
“And I’m here to help you with that.” The blurry shape replied. “My point is not to make you see like a human, nor to demonize them. Humans are like every other species. They aren’t bad or good, they are just… beings. Beings with complex thoughts and emotions, that even they don’t understand sometimes. What differentiate them from other species is that they have an incredible power that they struggle to use correctly. A power that you, on the other hand, can use in a better way, and make them see.”
Amaria lifted her head to look at this ghost with a sad and tired face. She had a deep feeling that repeating that she didn’t understand anything took her more energy every time she spoke it out loud. Maybe was it because of her emotional exhaustion, but she felt even more confused, and couldn’t even ask what was this power he talked about. Fortunately, the being was clever enough to notice that.
“What I’m asking here, what I’m expecting from you, is not to tell me everything. I don’t want you to explain the whole story. I just want you to look at them, and tell me what you and you alone think of this. How you feel, what you understood while observing them.”
“I… I told you… I haven’t understood anything.”
“Yes, you have. But you simply don’t dare to speak it. Just say it. There will be no judgement here, because there is never a wrong or a correct answer when we talk about feeling. Just take a deep breath, and say whatever comes to your mind.”
The young dragoness closed her eyes, and breathed deeply. Without any sound around, she could hear her own heart pulsing. It was a bit disturbing, in a way. But at least she had something to focus on to empty her mind. Finding some peace was necessary; she knew she couldn’t open her heart if she was stressed, or if she absolutely wanted to provide a good answer. If this being wanted her to tell her feelings in exchange for a clear answer, then she had to feel this whole scene and reply spontaneously. Then and only then she would decide what she wants…
Getting rid of her personal emotions, locking them deep for a moment, she took another deep breath, feeling an inner peace. In this state, she didn’t make any judgement, she absorbed the emotions surrounding her… And she felt ready to hear what she had to tell about this motionless scene that was frozen in front of her.
“They are the same, and yet so different…” She sighed, finally opening her eyes to look with pity on how rage distorted the face of her lover. What she saw was the whole spectrum of emotions that were present in his body. It wasn’t bad or good, it was just… like a painting, with colorful feelings.
“That is a good start.” The ghost encouraged her.
“They both are angry and hateful at this moment, but I feel like these are just masks. This is only the consequences of their mutual mistakes. The cause is the frustration they feel for not being understood, and because they do not understand each other, they don’t listen to each other, and just assume that the one they face is simply an evil being. This is a vicious circle. And they might as well hold a mirror… They are blinded by what they think, instead of seeing the truth. In that, they are both alike…”
“Keep going…”
“But if they listened, and sincerely tried to understand, they could see that they feel exactly the same. All they would have to do is to try to hear each other’s story. Everyone has a story. And even if theirs have similarities, they are both unique, and their feelings are really simple to understand from there. They put a barrier between them, but all they would have to do is trying to feel what the other feels, to try to give up their assumptions for a moment, and ask themselves: how would they be if the roles were reversed?”
A bit carried away with the flow of the story that came out from her own maw, she came closer to David. Even she was surprise by what she had to tell about him… She had lived pretty unpleasant experiences with that kid, and in a way, she had been blinded too. But remove that mask of anger, and resentment, and what was left in this boy? What did she actually know about him?
She knew he had been violent with her. He was always violent, in his words if not in his acts… but why? That pain she had sensed in him... That deep, persistent pain… rejection… ignorance… He had done bad things, but was there anything she couldn’t blame on his father? Obedient when Mr. Devon was alive, lost since his death… Who could actually blame a child for not knowing how to behave when he had been so misguided? When he had no one to show him the way?
“He suffers…” She finally saw clearly. “He’s lonely… Anger is a protection; the only way he knows to make the world around him logical. But the thing is, life is not logical… Bad things happen to good people, and those who get from life aren’t always those who deserve it. When you absolutely want to find a sense, you can find one… But thinking chaos is the explanation is as illusionary as thinking the world is a perfect place… I can’t help but wonder… If things had been different, what could have he become? He’s passionate, full of energy, with a deep will to change the world in a better way… What if he had been loved? What if he had been supported? What if he had been shown another way? He could have been so amazing… Maybe even as amazing as… him…”
Stopping for a minute, assimilating her own words, she then turned the head toward her lover. All this time by his side… She had gotten familiar with his story, or at least, what she had heard from his mouth and seen in his memory. But there was one thing she couldn’t measure: How had his story changed him over the years?
She had always assumed that he was simply different. Of course, he had lived bad experiences too. But what made him special to her was how he hadn’t blinked when he had watched the darkness of this world straight in the eye. Why so? Why, when his pain had been comparable to this kid, hadn’t he become careless and angry?
Maybe was it because of his past… His parents were there for him when he was young. This was why he was so ticklish on the subject; he cherished their memory and still mourned them. Maybe was he even unaware of it. They had left a good imprint in him, making him see a spark of hope when others couldn’t notice it. Did he even know that his whole being was the result of his past?
“And him… He suffers too… I tried my best to help him, and I like to think that I made him happier. But what I see here is all the darkness he had locked deep inside him. All the things he chose to never think about, all the things that devoured him without allowing anyone to help him. He could have become exactly like David, but he had the chance to be loved… Because life is luck. Life is ridiculous, and random… He could be better too, and I want to help him with that. His mask of anger is made from pain too, but also with fear. Fear, and unjustified guilt. He doesn’t allow himself to understand David because he unconsciously fears to realize that he could be just like him…”
Taking a step back, she looked at their two faces. Of course… It seemed so clear now. Their expressions were exactly the same. It was so… sad. How could beings be so alike, and so hateful toward each other? Heroes, and monsters. They had both the potential to be either or. And yet, barriers… She then looked at the ghost, and asked with a hard look.
“This is horrible. Are all humans like that? Are their personalities, their beliefs, their feelings, their destinies, all molded by a filter between their eyes and the real world?”
“Sadly, it is…” The blurry shape nodded. “Every one of them think their conception of reality is pure truth, but very few of them do realize how foolish it is. Some are wise enough to try to see potentials, theories, instead of certitudes. But too many cannot accept to see from another point of view. It’s unconscious. But it’s there… Humans lack this natural ability to understand; they need to work it to gain such vision.”
“If that’s true… then it means that this world creates its own monsters.” Amaria realized, a bit depressed by such answer. “Bad humans exist because they are unable to feel what others feel. They kill, they destroy, because it’s easier to erase something than trying to understand it… Doesn’t that mean there is no hope?”
“Not necessarily.” The ghost replied. If a mouth could have been seen, Amaria could have sworn she would have noticed a little smile. “As I said, they lack the natural ability, but they can work it. A long time ago, there was another humanity who failed at it. And as a result, they turned into the demons Adam had to erase. But you already know that, don’t you? Or at least, you remember…”
“Dragons are born with the memories of their ancestors…” She confirmed, nodding. “Sadly, my ancestors didn’t witness his full story… only the result, and what they’ve been told…”
“So you do remember that he gave humanity a second chance… I helped him too, a long time ago… He had this natural ability to understand other beings, a rare gift among humans. But it’s a gift that becomes a burden in a world where others can’t share it. This new humanity, on the other hand, has a better chance. This chance, is you…”
“Me?”
“Dragons. This is not a trick of destiny if your race has emerged after the first humanity’s failure. Humans cannot make this world a better place by themselves. Alone, they are meant to self-destruction. With you, they have powerful allies to build a brighter future. Because you, dragons, do have this natural ability for understanding others. Just imagine what the both of you could accomplish… if your species worked together…”
She could feel that her maw was opened, but couldn’t focus enough to close it. Dragons and humans had… what each other lacked? She thought she understood the point of this ghost, even if it was a bit far-fetched… however, she couldn’t say that it made no sense… After all, she had helped her lover to find peace, more than once. And he was the one who had played smart enough to gain her freedom… Two species, helping each other… If that was true, if the big picture behind their existence was to collaborate, then it was another proof that nature was absolutely brilliant... Of course, if it was only this ghost’s plan, then he was the brilliant mind here… With the smartness of the humans, and the empathy and wisdom of the dragons… What kind of world could they build together?
“Do you see my big picture yet?” The ghost asked her.
Not actually knowing what to answer, Amaria simply nodded. It was a big plan… almost a fantasy… But at least, it represented some kind of hope in the chaotic world she lived in, a world were humans struggled to get it right, and where dragons avoided them. A plan she would probably never see the result in her lifetime, but yet…
“Do you want to be part of it?” he asked again.
She looked at her human, and for the first time since things went nuts, she felt some kind of compassion about his ugly distorted face. For having lived with one, she knew that humans could be good… All they needed was chance… and guidance. Even if this big picture was possible to realize, she would probably never see the results, but it gave the future a chance. With every little step, one could make this world better…
And she wanted to initiate these little steps. Her lover did believe in healing this world in pain. After all, this was what he fought for right now, even if he didn’t quite manage to get it right. And she wanted to help him. She wanted to do this, for him. And also for all those who died with this beautiful belief…
“Do you know what you have to do now?” The ghost asked her, his eyes showing something she hadn’t seen in a long time. Faith in something miraculous.
“But they won’t listen to me in their current state…” She underlined, willing to give a try but not knowing how to achieve this.
“If words were enough, humans could have handled it by themselves.” The blurry shape confirmed. “Languages are a tool evolution gave to lifeforms to communicate, to share, but it’s always been too subjected to interpretation. Fortunately, dragons have been given a more… efficient tool… to share experiences…”
The young dragoness frowned. She got the hint, but it was a bit delicate… Of course, this ghost probably knew that she had already used it in the past, but it still was something she felt uncomfortable doing. It involved high risks, especially with humans…
“Of course it might work, but dragons are not supposed to do that on humans.” She replied, a bit badly surprised that he suggested such a way. “It is forbidden… and for good reason.”
“Oh please, since when do you follow the rules Amaria? Especially when it involves him?” The blurry shape seemed to reproach. “Of course, I can’t force you. But the way I see things, you only have two choices if you want to stop them from fighting. And I wish you good luck if you want to try with mere words…”
This time, his word raised anger within her. She saw his big picture, yes. She was willing to help, also yes. But she didn’t like the sneaky manipulation he tried to do with her. And it reminded her an old, unpleasant memory, that had been shared through generations of dragons…
“Did you used to manipulate Adam the same way?” She asked back, almost regretting the harshness of her words. Almost.
Her instincts had taken over, and she wanted to show this being that her kindness and care wasn’t a sign of weakness, that she wasn’t a doormat to step on, and that her willingness to help came with conditions. She was self-aware enough to realize that her words were a bit tough. However, if this being wanted her to use her skill for that matter, and on her lover, what’s more, he better had to show that he measured the risks… not for her, but for the poor humans that were about to suffer from it.
“I heard this story, with a lot of details.” She kept going, trying to contain her own emotions. “My kind used to talk a lot about the mysterious creature of light that guided Adam. They called it the white shadow, and for dragons, it was quite a meaningful name…”
Determined to get a sincere answer from this being before following any of his requests or advices, she walked closer to him, watching him straight in the eye. She was shaking on the inside, fully aware of what he could do, and a bit scared that he might lose patience. But she had to. If he pretended to only aim at making this world a better place, he had to reveal his true self to her.
Because she had, indeed, a lot of memories of these tales… and of what he had done. She had good will, but she wouldn’t allow the same mistakes to be done with her lover.
“It means that he was the kind to sincerely want to do good, but who didn’t hesitate to get dirty in the process… even involving others if he needed to…” She sustained his cold gaze. “The first time I saw you, I didn’t make the connection. But you did say you ‘helped’ Adam. You are the white shadow, aren’t you?”
The ghost of light didn’t reply straight away. He sustained her gaze for a moment, not speaking a word, before looking away like she had touched a sensitive subject.
“Some used to call me like that…” he avoided the main point.
“Then you have a lot to answer for, before asking any favor from me.” She said with an authority that was now fully justified for her. “Because you never were quite soft on Adam, were you? You tortured him. You forced him to make choices that no one should have to do. You put him in a place he never wanted. You used his old scars, his pain, to make him follow your plans. How can I be sure you’re not doing the same with me? Or worse, with my human?”
“You can’t. And you’d be a fool to not consider it, indeed.” The white shadow dropped, looking at Amaria’s lover, definitely unable to bear her stare of judgement. “Unfortunately, humans do things more efficiently when they are convinced it’s the only thing to do… when they think the decision comes from themselves… So I never changed the core of my method, but I did try to soften it… I try to reach my goals with the least… side damages, now…”
Amaria didn’t say anything, but didn’t softened her stare. This was still not satisfying to her. And she was waiting for more. Plus, she really didn’t like him use the words ‘side damages’ to qualify all the deaths that had occurred as consequences of his advices.
“I often think about what had to be done back then.” The blurry shape confessed. “And I carry more regrets and remorse than anyone did in the whole history of this world. But stories have to start somewhere. And as ashamed as I am, Adam was my first try… I did horrible things, I made him do horrible things. Because I knew that he was strong enough to get over it, but of course, this is no justification. Today, I just want to make this all worthwhile…”
Even if she couldn’t decrypt this being’s emotions, this speech sounded a lot like sincere remorse. Of course, it did not totally satisfy her. But she doubted that any word from him would. Not with what she accused him of. And she wasn’t the kind to enjoy torturing anyone. She preferred to get straight to her point.
“Adam was a good human. Even dragons sometimes drop a tear when they remember his story.” She said, trying to stay tough but still shaking inside. “We generally think that past is past, and that it’s nonsense to give it too much importance. But there’s something I’d like to know… that a good part of my lineage always wished to know. And if you answer it, it will mean that somewhere in your cold heart, making this world a better place actually means something to you. That the better future you wish to create doesn’t means the good people you used were simply left behind…” She said with a bit of emotion.
It was only when she saw that she got his full attention that she gathered her courage to ask her question. She was actually quite scared to know the answer… for it truly had been a deep concern of her species for centuries. And her throat was a bit sore when she dared to speak it out loud.
“Was he… Was he happy, in the end?”
The white shadow didn’t reply right away. For a few seconds, he stared back at her with an empty look, then lowered his gaze. The young dragoness wasn’t sure, but there seemed to be actual sadness here…
“I wish I could reply positively… But the truth is, I was never able to know the answer, however hard I tried… I couldn’t witness his death, nor the years that followed. It’s a period in time that was so badly injured that I have no access to it, but…” the blurry shape took a short break, rising his gaze to look at her. His usual empty stare was tinted with little twinkles in the corner of his eyes. “I like to think he was finally happy. I don’t know if he ever totally freed himself from his pain… but I know that he died doing the only thing he wanted to achieve. It was hard for me to hear about the way he sacrificed himself, and it was even harder to hear how deep it hurt the beings he died for. But if there’s one thing I can tell, is that he would be quite proud of this new world… Or at least, I hope so… I hope that one day, I could make his dreams of a peaceful world come true…”
The white shadow turned to look at the two humans who were still frozen in their awful scene. It was the first time Amaria felt like this manipulative being actually had feelings. And if she had to put a name on the expression of his eyes, she would have called it nostalgia.
“I had to get rid of my personal thoughts and emotions when I began to work on this…” he said sadly. “Because seeing others die and suffer for it was too unbearable. But once in a while, I still feel a bit of humanity in me. I look at the people I influence and I wonder if they have a single idea on how wonderful they are. They love, they believe, they act selflessly for a greater good… Everyone I interact with reminds me of myself, of the man I used to be, and the one I wanted to become. With their default, with their doubts, but still with their beautiful soul…”
Such words left the young dragoness speechless. There wasn’t any comment to make, as a matter of fact. Everything was said. And though it wasn’t the answer she expected, it did bring her some peace. When one began to try and change the world for the best, it became harder over time to remember the origins… It became hard to keep seeing others as sentient beings instead of disposable unities… but a good soul never lost this view on others, never let his duties making him consider others as pawns. She knew it, because these were Adam’s words, his legacy. And in a way, it was good enough to her to hear that the white shadow himself still respected this legacy.
“Unfreeze them.” She said with a cold determination, stepping forward. “I’ll do it.”
“Thank you.” The echoing voice of the white shadow whispered. “You’ll have a few seconds after I go, to be prepared.”
“Do not thank me for that.” She hissed, not even looking over her shoulder, focusing on her hard task. “I’m going to hate it… And it’s going to hurt the one I love.”
“I wasn’t thanking you for that.” The white shadow spoke sadly behind her. “Thank you for reminding me why I’m doing all this. And thank you… for caring about my old friend…”
These words, on the other hand, did make her look behind, but the blurry shape was already gone. Turning her attention again to the two frozen humans, she chased her thoughts. She would come back to that matter later, for now, there was something to be done. Something that required her whole focus.
The white shadow had warned her that she had a few seconds to get prepared, and she needed them. Clenching her teeth and flexing her legs, she waited for the moment the awful scene would resume. She had one shot, and she better had to aim right! These seconds felt like eternity…
Finally, with the same fabric tearing noise she had heard before, she saw the raging punches moving again. But she was faster...
NOW IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE SPOILED, I ADVISE YOU TO READ THE CHAPTER BEFORE READING MY EXPLANATIONS HERE.
First, know that it's only the half of what I planned to upload. But the chapter became so big that I decided to split it in two parts. Now, why has it become so big? Simply because I had a lot to say in it.
Good artists and good writers are generally those who put soul in their creation, but I usually avoid to involve too much of my point of views because I don't like the idea of being judged on what matters to me. But in a way, I can say that I tried to put soul into this part.
If you're familiar with my work, you know there's a theme I love to write about, however childish it can looks : empathy, or the capacity to really understand the other. Why is that so important to me? Maybe because of my personal story, because I never really felt understood. Since I felt so out-of-reach for others, I wanted them to not feel the same, and I always tried to sincerely see things from their point of view. And I like to think I can, even if life tends to prove me I'm wrong once in a while. Over time, I grew fascinated by how different the thinking patterns and the emotional reactions of others were. I often see people as living enigmas.
But this is a gift that can also be a curse, because in my case, even if I often understand, I generally lack the capacity to use my words in a right way, and I'm not good at using them to actually provide help to those who would need some compassion in there life. And also because it's exhausting to feel what the other feels. When they are happy, it feels good and you're happy for them, but eventually it also throws you back to your own unhappiness and you wonder why this isn't happening to you. And when they feel bad, well... you simply struggle to not feel as bad as they do. It's the kind of gift that needs to come with some kind of firewalls. That's why I'm not so good at relationships, because isolation is a kind of protection, in the end of the day.
I sincerely think the world would be a better place if people sincerely tried to understand each other. Everyone wants to be understood. And often as a spectator, I witness many scenes that simply feel like nonsense. I see people getting angry at each other over misunderstandings, I see people unconsciously hurting each other because they don't take others' feelings in considerations when they speak or behave. And like it's been told in this chapter, I often have the feeling that this world creates the very monsters they are complaining about.
This is what I'm trying to show in these chapters. I'm not trying to complain or to be pitied, because all in all, I'm really proud of myself and I think this world isn't as bad as how it's pictured in the medias. Of course there are atrocities occuring every now and then, we had examples through the last year. But I feel like the world is not limited to that. I see good things too, and I think that's a real shame that we tend to give it so little credits compared to how we emphasize on bad things. In my point of view, understanding the other instead of hating him/her over judgement is already finding personal peace.
When we feel angry, when we feel disrespected, of course it can be because someone is really acting bad or selfishly. But maybe it's a false idea or a simple assumption. When we get a bad feeling about someone who simply looks mean, and we get to understand why he or she is behaving like that, of course it doesn't bring an excuse to the person, but we can get over it more easily.
As human beings, we're all the result of a unique personal history that forged our temper, our behavior pattern. And when we sincerely take the time to look closely, people generally appear less evil than they seemed to be in the first place. Like in the text, I also sometimes take the time to look and listen to people, and wonder if they measure how beautiful their souls can be.
That will be all for my little speech^^ I hope I didn't bore you this. I'm a dreamer, yes, but I'm also a realist, and surely not a lesson teller. It was just some personal thoughts I tried to put in my story, and that I wanted to share with my readers.
Stay tuned for the next part, I hope to release it soon :)
Amaria followed her human without a word as he walked hastily, straight to the prison. Anyway, no word from anyone could have stopped him right now. She knew it; she knew how stubborn he was when he was angry. And during all the time they had spent together, she had never seen him so furious.
A war was engaged, a human had been killed with a weapon her lover apparently wished to never see invented, and worse, it had been stolen right from his parents’ work, and given to a deadly enemy. Even if he rarely talked about them, she knew they were a sensitive subject to him. And after some kind of dark epiphany, he had decided to come back to this creepy building to talk to David, the kid who was imprisoned there.
If she wasn’t misinterpreting the events, her human considered the boy guilty for all this… and the dragoness feared that this time, he could cross the line and do something he might regret… She was going to know it soon enough.
When they arrived, a stare of furor from her lover was enough to make the guard freeze in place, not even moving a muscle as the keys were snatched from the shaking old hands. It was a really, really bad sign… If he opened the cell, in his state, he could be able to kill that child out of anger, or worse… be killed by the said child, who hated him more than anything on earth… No one, not even her, could tell what these two could be capable of…
The dragoness still didn’t dare to speak a word, but silently gathered her courage to do something if this meeting turned bad… She was strong, but her fear to hurt him might give him an advantage if she had to use the tough way… Everything was so uncertain!
They reached the end of the stairs too fast for her to think about a plan. Her lover immediately opened the door of the cell room angrily, pointing an accusing finger at the kid who seemed surprised from such an entrance.
“YOU!” he shouted. “I tried to be nice, I tried to forgive, but your cursed family is definitely the worst that ever lived in this city!”
“Finally being honest?” the boy mocked him, unimpressed.
That was a mistake. In his state, it only worsened his anger and he stepped forward to grab the bars furiously.
“Your father was a mean, horrible bastard and you’re not better than he was! And you know what?! I’m glad he assaulted me so I could erase to his very existence! Even in a grave, he still manages to make my life a living hell! Through you! Screw the Devons! I’m done trying to give you a chance!”
Her suspicions were right… He did suppose that this kid was responsible for the situation. Remaining silent, she clenched her teeth. She didn’t like seeing him so close to this kid, even with metal bars separating them. Who knew what David could do? He had tried to kill her lover before… As long as her human didn’t open the cells, she decided to not intervene. After all, she had to trust him, however scary it was. Yet, with a bit of shame, she had to admit that it was hard to trust her human in such a state…
“You don’t talk about my father like that!” The boy replied, reacting instantly to these words. “He was a better man than you’ll ever be!”
“Your father created a deadly weapon and you gave it to the enemy! All because you blindly followed him like a dog and couldn’t bear the truth!”
“What? I didn’t do anything! It’s another lie of yours!”
To her surprise, David seemed totally sincere. She didn’t felt stress coming from him, but it wasn’t the same stress a liar experienced… not when it was mixed with anger like that… He could have been faking really well, but she doubted that such a young human could be able to prepare such a good reaction of surprise. This was the emotional reaction of wrongly accused person; she had seen it one or twice in her life… If he was truly innocent, it was only natural to feel scared and angry at the same time… But her lover, on the other hand, couldn’t feel this shade. He seemed to be convinced that David lied.
“Oh really?! That must be a coincidence that an army of men with guns is heading straight here!”
“What is a freaking gun?! You’re just accusing me because you want to take me down, like the rest of this city! Like I’m not down enough!”
“A gun! A deadly weapon that fires projectiles! And if I could, I would bring you down to hell for giving that to this crazy army! Your father surely told you everything about it, and you gladly took the succession! Are you so pleased to see people suffer?!”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, but even though, I don’t care about seeing all of you die!”
Not abandoning her fear, the attention of the dragoness was attracted by something curious. There wasn’t just anger and fear boiling inside that kid… Pain… A discrete, hidden pain that fueled the fire of his aggressiveness. How could she have missed it all this time? Was it because of this specific verbal fight, or had she ignored it because she was more concerned about the danger he represented than his true self? With a bit of shame, she had to admit that she didn’t know… Could his pain be the reason why this kid said such horrible things?
“Innocent people are going to die!” Her lover exploded. “Families! Children! And you’ll sacrifice all of them because of your stupid revenge?!”
“They are all guilty to me! When I told them that this was my father they were burying, they didn’t listen! When I was in need, they all turned their back to me! And my revenge is surely not stupid, since you’re the worst of them all! I wish that you and your stupid overgrown lizard get killed first!”
Amaria held her breath as she saw her lover taking the keys, and starting to open the door of the cell. She tried to come and stop him, but the stare he threw at her froze her instantly. Since the beginning of their relationship, she had never witnessed such an aggressive, threatening attitude. Her instincts yelled at her to not get impressed and simply do what needed to be done, but this wasn’t any human in front of her. Her legs shaking from confusion and fear, she simply couldn’t move, her heart pounding hard into her chest as she saw him entering, grabbing the kid by his clothes and pushing him against the wall.
“We tried to make this world a better place!” he shouted furiously. “We tried to find a peaceful solution to the problems that ruin everyone’s life! We tried to put an end to the fights! What you and your horrible father brought is nothing but death and destruction!”
“My father wanted to give everyone the mean to defend themselves! What he wanted was to make this city strong! And your pathetic, idealistic dreams made it weaker than ever!”
“It is not being weak to respect life! You think your father wanted to make this city strong?! He only wanted to control it! He killed my parents, and he tried to kill me too!”
“You killed and humiliated him! How much for respecting life?! Keep your lies for the stupid people of this city! If they had listened to my father, no one would even dare to threaten them! These people chose to follow you, and they deserve what’s coming for them! Because they chose to be as weak as you are!”
“You followed him, and look where it led you! What kind of strength is that?! Is that strength to give to a crazy enemy the mean to eradicate this city?! Do you think you’re strong because you’ll be the cause of hundreds of innocents’ death?!”
“It is strength to be able to face your lies, to face the pitiful life I have because of you! People like you are a disease to all mankind, and the only reason why innocents die! Enemies target us because they think we’re weak! Strength is showing no mercy! Strength is crushing anyone who stands against us!”
“Strength is choosing to understand before trying to kill! Strength is the will to defend, not the will to attack! Your vision is nothing but tyranny and cruelty! And you’d sacrifice anyone to force it to others! Strong dominating the weak, is that the world you want to live in?!”
“The world I want to live in is a world where the weak doesn’t dominate the strong!”
“You’re a crazy psychopath whose mind is as perverted as your father’s!”
“You’re a hypocritical murdered!”
“YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING!” They yelled in a single voice.
Amaria closed her eyes when they both rose a hand, ready to punch each other. There was nothing she could do about it; they wouldn’t listen to any word she could say in their state, neither of them… Powerless, all she could do was not watching this. She would have wanted to think that they would calm down quickly, but she had a strong feeling that they wouldn’t…
In her mind, she was already picturing what was going to happen… Most likely, because of an obvious physical advantage, her lover was about to hurt David badly, even kill the kid in the worst case. After that, they would not only be at the center of a war, but also surrounded by the angry people of this city. Whatever she could think of, she didn’t see how all of this could end well…
However, surprisingly, the sound she heard wasn’t a groan of pain, or the nasty display of violence humans could show. It sounded more like… fabric being torn? Fearing what she could see, she still dared to open an eye… and saw something stupendous.
The two humans were standing still, with their punches ready to strike, but motionless. An ugly expression of hate and anger torn both of their faces, but none of them did a single move. They were… perfectly immobile…
“What’s going on?” She dropped, coming closer to look at them. “What are you doing?”
“They are both right, you know… Strength is being powerful enough to face the others, and to be able to show mercy.” A strange, echoing and familiar voice replied to her. Feeling her heart missing a beat, she looked behind, and saw the blurry shape of that being… The one that seemed to take so much pleasure in manipulating them. “They can’t hear you, anyway.”
“What have you done to them?!” She growled by reflex, knowing there was no use either in threat or physical violence.
“Basic time freeze. Well, basic to me, at least. Don’t worry, they’ll be perfectly fine. Or to be more accurate, they won’t be hurt because of this, they will handle the hurting stuff by themselves…” He said calmly, coming closer too, and ‘snapping’ his ghostly fingers between their faces. “I’m just giving us some… time… to analyze all this…”
“Analyze? What the hell are you talking about?!” She lost her nerves, a bit panicked by this whole crazy situation.
“I’ve always been curious about you dragons.” The shape simply replied, like he hadn’t heard her question. “You have such a special view on the world around you. So similar and yet, so different from humans’. I’d be interested in knowing your point of you on this... Look at them. Look at them carefully.”
A bit confused, shared between mixed feelings about this being and her desire to understand what this crazy ghost was talking about, she did look closer. However, she didn’t get what she was supposed to see… All she witnessed was the same, unmovable expression of animosity in the two humans frozen in front of her. Quite nasty faces…
“So what?” She asked.
“I want you to tell me what you see.”
She thought for a moment, observing them carefully. Yet, despite how closely she looked at their horrible faces, only one answer came to her:
“I don’t understand…”
“Your opinion. I want you to tell me what you see, how you feel about this.”
“And I told you, I don’t understand!” She replied, feeling tears of anger coming to her eyes. Seeing her lover frozen like this, with such a hateful expression, was hurting deeply the image of a nice and kind human she had of him. “I don’t understand anything! You, what you want, this war thing, them! I don’t understand any of these! Why are you doing all this?! What are you expecting me to tell you?!”
“This. Exactly this.” The ghost replied, nodding calmly. “The main difference between dragons, and humans… This is why I always loved your species… You have this ability to see all the nonsense, the craziness, the madness of what humans seem to care so much about. You see how pointless all of this is, and I know you feel lost, like their world is beyond reach. But actually, Amaria, this is a unique gift. A gift meant to be shared. And once you understand this, you’ll be able to fix everything. You and you alone.”
“I… still don’t understand…” She almost whimpered, both ashamed of her inability to understand and her tiredness from this madness. “Why are you…? Why are they…? Just… why? What can I do about all this?”
“First, you have to let go… Cry if you want to, roar if you feel like, but take your time to calm down and empty your head. I’m giving you all the time you need to think.” He said softly. And curiously, it was already a little help to her.
Half of a day. Just one half of a day separated her from the last time she simply enjoyed life with the one her heart beat for, and the present where everything seemed to collapse. How could this be? How could humans make the world, their little world, so complicated? Anger… Hatred… Violence… How could a simple day transform her lover into the ugly faced monster she had in front of her?
“I just want to know what happened…” She blew, mentally exhausted.
“And I’m here to help you with that.” The blurry shape replied. “My point is not to make you see like a human, nor to demonize them. Humans are like every other species. They aren’t bad or good, they are just… beings. Beings with complex thoughts and emotions, that even they don’t understand sometimes. What differentiate them from other species is that they have an incredible power that they struggle to use correctly. A power that you, on the other hand, can use in a better way, and make them see.”
Amaria lifted her head to look at this ghost with a sad and tired face. She had a deep feeling that repeating that she didn’t understand anything took her more energy every time she spoke it out loud. Maybe was it because of her emotional exhaustion, but she felt even more confused, and couldn’t even ask what was this power he talked about. Fortunately, the being was clever enough to notice that.
“What I’m asking here, what I’m expecting from you, is not to tell me everything. I don’t want you to explain the whole story. I just want you to look at them, and tell me what you and you alone think of this. How you feel, what you understood while observing them.”
“I… I told you… I haven’t understood anything.”
“Yes, you have. But you simply don’t dare to speak it. Just say it. There will be no judgement here, because there is never a wrong or a correct answer when we talk about feeling. Just take a deep breath, and say whatever comes to your mind.”
The young dragoness closed her eyes, and breathed deeply. Without any sound around, she could hear her own heart pulsing. It was a bit disturbing, in a way. But at least she had something to focus on to empty her mind. Finding some peace was necessary; she knew she couldn’t open her heart if she was stressed, or if she absolutely wanted to provide a good answer. If this being wanted her to tell her feelings in exchange for a clear answer, then she had to feel this whole scene and reply spontaneously. Then and only then she would decide what she wants…
Getting rid of her personal emotions, locking them deep for a moment, she took another deep breath, feeling an inner peace. In this state, she didn’t make any judgement, she absorbed the emotions surrounding her… And she felt ready to hear what she had to tell about this motionless scene that was frozen in front of her.
“They are the same, and yet so different…” She sighed, finally opening her eyes to look with pity on how rage distorted the face of her lover. What she saw was the whole spectrum of emotions that were present in his body. It wasn’t bad or good, it was just… like a painting, with colorful feelings.
“That is a good start.” The ghost encouraged her.
“They both are angry and hateful at this moment, but I feel like these are just masks. This is only the consequences of their mutual mistakes. The cause is the frustration they feel for not being understood, and because they do not understand each other, they don’t listen to each other, and just assume that the one they face is simply an evil being. This is a vicious circle. And they might as well hold a mirror… They are blinded by what they think, instead of seeing the truth. In that, they are both alike…”
“Keep going…”
“But if they listened, and sincerely tried to understand, they could see that they feel exactly the same. All they would have to do is to try to hear each other’s story. Everyone has a story. And even if theirs have similarities, they are both unique, and their feelings are really simple to understand from there. They put a barrier between them, but all they would have to do is trying to feel what the other feels, to try to give up their assumptions for a moment, and ask themselves: how would they be if the roles were reversed?”
A bit carried away with the flow of the story that came out from her own maw, she came closer to David. Even she was surprise by what she had to tell about him… She had lived pretty unpleasant experiences with that kid, and in a way, she had been blinded too. But remove that mask of anger, and resentment, and what was left in this boy? What did she actually know about him?
She knew he had been violent with her. He was always violent, in his words if not in his acts… but why? That pain she had sensed in him... That deep, persistent pain… rejection… ignorance… He had done bad things, but was there anything she couldn’t blame on his father? Obedient when Mr. Devon was alive, lost since his death… Who could actually blame a child for not knowing how to behave when he had been so misguided? When he had no one to show him the way?
“He suffers…” She finally saw clearly. “He’s lonely… Anger is a protection; the only way he knows to make the world around him logical. But the thing is, life is not logical… Bad things happen to good people, and those who get from life aren’t always those who deserve it. When you absolutely want to find a sense, you can find one… But thinking chaos is the explanation is as illusionary as thinking the world is a perfect place… I can’t help but wonder… If things had been different, what could have he become? He’s passionate, full of energy, with a deep will to change the world in a better way… What if he had been loved? What if he had been supported? What if he had been shown another way? He could have been so amazing… Maybe even as amazing as… him…”
Stopping for a minute, assimilating her own words, she then turned the head toward her lover. All this time by his side… She had gotten familiar with his story, or at least, what she had heard from his mouth and seen in his memory. But there was one thing she couldn’t measure: How had his story changed him over the years?
She had always assumed that he was simply different. Of course, he had lived bad experiences too. But what made him special to her was how he hadn’t blinked when he had watched the darkness of this world straight in the eye. Why so? Why, when his pain had been comparable to this kid, hadn’t he become careless and angry?
Maybe was it because of his past… His parents were there for him when he was young. This was why he was so ticklish on the subject; he cherished their memory and still mourned them. Maybe was he even unaware of it. They had left a good imprint in him, making him see a spark of hope when others couldn’t notice it. Did he even know that his whole being was the result of his past?
“And him… He suffers too… I tried my best to help him, and I like to think that I made him happier. But what I see here is all the darkness he had locked deep inside him. All the things he chose to never think about, all the things that devoured him without allowing anyone to help him. He could have become exactly like David, but he had the chance to be loved… Because life is luck. Life is ridiculous, and random… He could be better too, and I want to help him with that. His mask of anger is made from pain too, but also with fear. Fear, and unjustified guilt. He doesn’t allow himself to understand David because he unconsciously fears to realize that he could be just like him…”
Taking a step back, she looked at their two faces. Of course… It seemed so clear now. Their expressions were exactly the same. It was so… sad. How could beings be so alike, and so hateful toward each other? Heroes, and monsters. They had both the potential to be either or. And yet, barriers… She then looked at the ghost, and asked with a hard look.
“This is horrible. Are all humans like that? Are their personalities, their beliefs, their feelings, their destinies, all molded by a filter between their eyes and the real world?”
“Sadly, it is…” The blurry shape nodded. “Every one of them think their conception of reality is pure truth, but very few of them do realize how foolish it is. Some are wise enough to try to see potentials, theories, instead of certitudes. But too many cannot accept to see from another point of view. It’s unconscious. But it’s there… Humans lack this natural ability to understand; they need to work it to gain such vision.”
“If that’s true… then it means that this world creates its own monsters.” Amaria realized, a bit depressed by such answer. “Bad humans exist because they are unable to feel what others feel. They kill, they destroy, because it’s easier to erase something than trying to understand it… Doesn’t that mean there is no hope?”
“Not necessarily.” The ghost replied. If a mouth could have been seen, Amaria could have sworn she would have noticed a little smile. “As I said, they lack the natural ability, but they can work it. A long time ago, there was another humanity who failed at it. And as a result, they turned into the demons Adam had to erase. But you already know that, don’t you? Or at least, you remember…”
“Dragons are born with the memories of their ancestors…” She confirmed, nodding. “Sadly, my ancestors didn’t witness his full story… only the result, and what they’ve been told…”
“So you do remember that he gave humanity a second chance… I helped him too, a long time ago… He had this natural ability to understand other beings, a rare gift among humans. But it’s a gift that becomes a burden in a world where others can’t share it. This new humanity, on the other hand, has a better chance. This chance, is you…”
“Me?”
“Dragons. This is not a trick of destiny if your race has emerged after the first humanity’s failure. Humans cannot make this world a better place by themselves. Alone, they are meant to self-destruction. With you, they have powerful allies to build a brighter future. Because you, dragons, do have this natural ability for understanding others. Just imagine what the both of you could accomplish… if your species worked together…”
She could feel that her maw was opened, but couldn’t focus enough to close it. Dragons and humans had… what each other lacked? She thought she understood the point of this ghost, even if it was a bit far-fetched… however, she couldn’t say that it made no sense… After all, she had helped her lover to find peace, more than once. And he was the one who had played smart enough to gain her freedom… Two species, helping each other… If that was true, if the big picture behind their existence was to collaborate, then it was another proof that nature was absolutely brilliant... Of course, if it was only this ghost’s plan, then he was the brilliant mind here… With the smartness of the humans, and the empathy and wisdom of the dragons… What kind of world could they build together?
“Do you see my big picture yet?” The ghost asked her.
Not actually knowing what to answer, Amaria simply nodded. It was a big plan… almost a fantasy… But at least, it represented some kind of hope in the chaotic world she lived in, a world were humans struggled to get it right, and where dragons avoided them. A plan she would probably never see the result in her lifetime, but yet…
“Do you want to be part of it?” he asked again.
She looked at her human, and for the first time since things went nuts, she felt some kind of compassion about his ugly distorted face. For having lived with one, she knew that humans could be good… All they needed was chance… and guidance. Even if this big picture was possible to realize, she would probably never see the results, but it gave the future a chance. With every little step, one could make this world better…
And she wanted to initiate these little steps. Her lover did believe in healing this world in pain. After all, this was what he fought for right now, even if he didn’t quite manage to get it right. And she wanted to help him. She wanted to do this, for him. And also for all those who died with this beautiful belief…
“Do you know what you have to do now?” The ghost asked her, his eyes showing something she hadn’t seen in a long time. Faith in something miraculous.
“But they won’t listen to me in their current state…” She underlined, willing to give a try but not knowing how to achieve this.
“If words were enough, humans could have handled it by themselves.” The blurry shape confirmed. “Languages are a tool evolution gave to lifeforms to communicate, to share, but it’s always been too subjected to interpretation. Fortunately, dragons have been given a more… efficient tool… to share experiences…”
The young dragoness frowned. She got the hint, but it was a bit delicate… Of course, this ghost probably knew that she had already used it in the past, but it still was something she felt uncomfortable doing. It involved high risks, especially with humans…
“Of course it might work, but dragons are not supposed to do that on humans.” She replied, a bit badly surprised that he suggested such a way. “It is forbidden… and for good reason.”
“Oh please, since when do you follow the rules Amaria? Especially when it involves him?” The blurry shape seemed to reproach. “Of course, I can’t force you. But the way I see things, you only have two choices if you want to stop them from fighting. And I wish you good luck if you want to try with mere words…”
This time, his word raised anger within her. She saw his big picture, yes. She was willing to help, also yes. But she didn’t like the sneaky manipulation he tried to do with her. And it reminded her an old, unpleasant memory, that had been shared through generations of dragons…
“Did you used to manipulate Adam the same way?” She asked back, almost regretting the harshness of her words. Almost.
Her instincts had taken over, and she wanted to show this being that her kindness and care wasn’t a sign of weakness, that she wasn’t a doormat to step on, and that her willingness to help came with conditions. She was self-aware enough to realize that her words were a bit tough. However, if this being wanted her to use her skill for that matter, and on her lover, what’s more, he better had to show that he measured the risks… not for her, but for the poor humans that were about to suffer from it.
“I heard this story, with a lot of details.” She kept going, trying to contain her own emotions. “My kind used to talk a lot about the mysterious creature of light that guided Adam. They called it the white shadow, and for dragons, it was quite a meaningful name…”
Determined to get a sincere answer from this being before following any of his requests or advices, she walked closer to him, watching him straight in the eye. She was shaking on the inside, fully aware of what he could do, and a bit scared that he might lose patience. But she had to. If he pretended to only aim at making this world a better place, he had to reveal his true self to her.
Because she had, indeed, a lot of memories of these tales… and of what he had done. She had good will, but she wouldn’t allow the same mistakes to be done with her lover.
“It means that he was the kind to sincerely want to do good, but who didn’t hesitate to get dirty in the process… even involving others if he needed to…” She sustained his cold gaze. “The first time I saw you, I didn’t make the connection. But you did say you ‘helped’ Adam. You are the white shadow, aren’t you?”
The ghost of light didn’t reply straight away. He sustained her gaze for a moment, not speaking a word, before looking away like she had touched a sensitive subject.
“Some used to call me like that…” he avoided the main point.
“Then you have a lot to answer for, before asking any favor from me.” She said with an authority that was now fully justified for her. “Because you never were quite soft on Adam, were you? You tortured him. You forced him to make choices that no one should have to do. You put him in a place he never wanted. You used his old scars, his pain, to make him follow your plans. How can I be sure you’re not doing the same with me? Or worse, with my human?”
“You can’t. And you’d be a fool to not consider it, indeed.” The white shadow dropped, looking at Amaria’s lover, definitely unable to bear her stare of judgement. “Unfortunately, humans do things more efficiently when they are convinced it’s the only thing to do… when they think the decision comes from themselves… So I never changed the core of my method, but I did try to soften it… I try to reach my goals with the least… side damages, now…”
Amaria didn’t say anything, but didn’t softened her stare. This was still not satisfying to her. And she was waiting for more. Plus, she really didn’t like him use the words ‘side damages’ to qualify all the deaths that had occurred as consequences of his advices.
“I often think about what had to be done back then.” The blurry shape confessed. “And I carry more regrets and remorse than anyone did in the whole history of this world. But stories have to start somewhere. And as ashamed as I am, Adam was my first try… I did horrible things, I made him do horrible things. Because I knew that he was strong enough to get over it, but of course, this is no justification. Today, I just want to make this all worthwhile…”
Even if she couldn’t decrypt this being’s emotions, this speech sounded a lot like sincere remorse. Of course, it did not totally satisfy her. But she doubted that any word from him would. Not with what she accused him of. And she wasn’t the kind to enjoy torturing anyone. She preferred to get straight to her point.
“Adam was a good human. Even dragons sometimes drop a tear when they remember his story.” She said, trying to stay tough but still shaking inside. “We generally think that past is past, and that it’s nonsense to give it too much importance. But there’s something I’d like to know… that a good part of my lineage always wished to know. And if you answer it, it will mean that somewhere in your cold heart, making this world a better place actually means something to you. That the better future you wish to create doesn’t means the good people you used were simply left behind…” She said with a bit of emotion.
It was only when she saw that she got his full attention that she gathered her courage to ask her question. She was actually quite scared to know the answer… for it truly had been a deep concern of her species for centuries. And her throat was a bit sore when she dared to speak it out loud.
“Was he… Was he happy, in the end?”
The white shadow didn’t reply right away. For a few seconds, he stared back at her with an empty look, then lowered his gaze. The young dragoness wasn’t sure, but there seemed to be actual sadness here…
“I wish I could reply positively… But the truth is, I was never able to know the answer, however hard I tried… I couldn’t witness his death, nor the years that followed. It’s a period in time that was so badly injured that I have no access to it, but…” the blurry shape took a short break, rising his gaze to look at her. His usual empty stare was tinted with little twinkles in the corner of his eyes. “I like to think he was finally happy. I don’t know if he ever totally freed himself from his pain… but I know that he died doing the only thing he wanted to achieve. It was hard for me to hear about the way he sacrificed himself, and it was even harder to hear how deep it hurt the beings he died for. But if there’s one thing I can tell, is that he would be quite proud of this new world… Or at least, I hope so… I hope that one day, I could make his dreams of a peaceful world come true…”
The white shadow turned to look at the two humans who were still frozen in their awful scene. It was the first time Amaria felt like this manipulative being actually had feelings. And if she had to put a name on the expression of his eyes, she would have called it nostalgia.
“I had to get rid of my personal thoughts and emotions when I began to work on this…” he said sadly. “Because seeing others die and suffer for it was too unbearable. But once in a while, I still feel a bit of humanity in me. I look at the people I influence and I wonder if they have a single idea on how wonderful they are. They love, they believe, they act selflessly for a greater good… Everyone I interact with reminds me of myself, of the man I used to be, and the one I wanted to become. With their default, with their doubts, but still with their beautiful soul…”
Such words left the young dragoness speechless. There wasn’t any comment to make, as a matter of fact. Everything was said. And though it wasn’t the answer she expected, it did bring her some peace. When one began to try and change the world for the best, it became harder over time to remember the origins… It became hard to keep seeing others as sentient beings instead of disposable unities… but a good soul never lost this view on others, never let his duties making him consider others as pawns. She knew it, because these were Adam’s words, his legacy. And in a way, it was good enough to her to hear that the white shadow himself still respected this legacy.
“Unfreeze them.” She said with a cold determination, stepping forward. “I’ll do it.”
“Thank you.” The echoing voice of the white shadow whispered. “You’ll have a few seconds after I go, to be prepared.”
“Do not thank me for that.” She hissed, not even looking over her shoulder, focusing on her hard task. “I’m going to hate it… And it’s going to hurt the one I love.”
“I wasn’t thanking you for that.” The white shadow spoke sadly behind her. “Thank you for reminding me why I’m doing all this. And thank you… for caring about my old friend…”
These words, on the other hand, did make her look behind, but the blurry shape was already gone. Turning her attention again to the two frozen humans, she chased her thoughts. She would come back to that matter later, for now, there was something to be done. Something that required her whole focus.
The white shadow had warned her that she had a few seconds to get prepared, and she needed them. Clenching her teeth and flexing her legs, she waited for the moment the awful scene would resume. She had one shot, and she better had to aim right! These seconds felt like eternity…
Finally, with the same fabric tearing noise she had heard before, she saw the raging punches moving again. But she was faster...
Category Story / Fantasy
Species Western Dragon
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 33.5 kB
Listed in Folders
I'm glad you choose to include that idea of empathy into your stories, it makes them nice to read, especially with how well you incorporate it into the writing. It's part of the reason I love fantasy so much, certain concepts can be brought to life in such interesting ways. It's nice to see you put a bit of yourself into your writing, and I hope it actually is as much a joy to write these are they are to read.
Hopefully I'll remember the comment I wanted to make last night soon, so I can re-write this to sound more thought out.
Hopefully I'll remember the comment I wanted to make last night soon, so I can re-write this to sound more thought out.
I know what you mean, the losing track of what you're trying to say as you write more. Makes various essays and such a pain to write for school, or just any long written work really. So far you've done well in making everything make sense, at least at the point they are intended to.
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