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Trill's stay at the police station just keeps getting worse.
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The biggest problem with writing without knowing exactly how you plan to get where you're going (which is pretty much always how I write, including this story) is that you can never be sure how characters, especially minor ones, will react in a given situations, and it can be especially hard to tell what their motives are; this can drastically alter how a scene plays itself out. This chapter is an excellent example of this style going badly wrong--what Carol tells Ian she thought Hank was going to do is what I had intended to write when I started the chapter, but then Hank pulled out that silenced pistol (I should note here that yes, his pistol had a silencer on it, but since it was seen through Trill's eyes and she didn't know enough about guns to identify that fact I couldn't put that in the narrative) and everything changed. At least I eventually figured out why he did it, but still... meh. I'm not a big fan of the scene with Hank because it just feels kind of random to me, but oh well.
Comments and critique greatly appreciated.
First | Previous | Next
The biggest problem with writing without knowing exactly how you plan to get where you're going (which is pretty much always how I write, including this story) is that you can never be sure how characters, especially minor ones, will react in a given situations, and it can be especially hard to tell what their motives are; this can drastically alter how a scene plays itself out. This chapter is an excellent example of this style going badly wrong--what Carol tells Ian she thought Hank was going to do is what I had intended to write when I started the chapter, but then Hank pulled out that silenced pistol (I should note here that yes, his pistol had a silencer on it, but since it was seen through Trill's eyes and she didn't know enough about guns to identify that fact I couldn't put that in the narrative) and everything changed. At least I eventually figured out why he did it, but still... meh. I'm not a big fan of the scene with Hank because it just feels kind of random to me, but oh well.
Comments and critique greatly appreciated.
Category Story / All
Species Western Dragon
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 21.5 kB
Listed in Folders
If he had been a professional assassin, Trill would be dead. But he was just a psychologist the families of Trill's past victims paid off and gave a weapon to so he'd kill her, so he ended up making a couple of mistakes/bad assumptions, fortunately. If this chapter had gone according to plan then things would be quite bad for Trill right now, but oh well.
Unexpected can be good; random is less desirable because it often doesn't make sense. In this instance, for example, Hank's dialogue indicates that he has a clear dislike of dragons, and that dislike is what would have told the people who paid him off that he would be willing to help them--yet Carol never would have chosen someone who doesn't like dragons to work with a dragon because of the security concerns.
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