Ah, drama. The story seems a bit rushed to me, and somewhat pointless, the theme is rather used, lovers unable to communicate and then the regret after things have gone the wrong way. But you write well, the reading experience is enjoyable and clear, there isn't any wavering or confusing parts in the tale. So, good work, all in all. I bet this would stand out better if the reader knew the background story behind this. This might not work so well as a standalone story. But anyway, I enjoyed reading this.

Thanks. And you're probably right, these are characters I've been working with for a long time so they do have some backstory to them. As far as the theme, well... what can I say, this is what popped into my head when I read "powerless".

I can imagine it was tough... with those kinds of emotions flowing through your mind it must have saddened you in the writing quite a bit. Well written and a very good read hun....

*gives him a hug... be happy as it was very moving.

V.

Thanks Vixyy.

After Alanna said, "I love you," I started thinking, what are you waiting for, Kantaro? And then he blew it. *sighs* "You blew it, Kantaro!" Very good story. As you can see, I got into it.

Thanks. Love is tricky, isn't it? If you say too much too soon you'll scare them off. If you wait too long you'll break their heart. All you can really hope for is to get very lucky. And if you're super extra lucky, like Kantaro here, she'll realize what you were trying to do and forgive you. After a very sincere apology, of course.

Very nice.
Though I think I have to say it, to me Allana came accross as a bit of a bitch.
I understand putting your feelings on the line can heart a lot but it's not like he said "OH no, i'm just here for the bootay" he spelled out very clearly why he was worried about saying those words.

Still very well done.

Thanks. Yeah, she responded like that because she didn't know what else to say. She was crushed, mortified, and Kan's explanation went in one ear and out the other... all she heard was that he didn't love her. All she wanted to do was curl up into a ball and die. Rejection like that is exactly why she was so hesitant about admitting that she loved him in the first place.

She didn't mistake his intentions for something else... she just wanted to hear him say that he loved her. Alanna is very strong on the outside, but she's pretty insecure on the inside. Kan should have realized that and responded the way he really wanted to respond... but he was terrified of losing her. And yet reacting the way he did caused it to happen anyway.

That's a mistake he won't make again.

Thanks! Yeah I've been trying to write about different scenarios, some happy some sad, but it seems like sad is always easier, in general. I should probably try harder to write more happy stories.

Yeah. She seemed like a bit of a hair trigger. he was doing all those really nice things for her and she loses it pretty quickly. Of course, I agree with duroc, he did blow it, but not on purpose.

In fact... I've been in a situation nearly identical to this. I don't agree with "women" that the need to hear "I love you." It is a matter of actions. Love runs so much deeper. So I sold out like a bitch and said "yeah, i love you too" but I didn't mean it.

So I think Kantaro did the right thing, he was being honest and true, and beyond that was being hella nice to this woman! If SHE doesn't feel like total crap when she goes home to OD on chocolate ice cream... I would be very surprised.

Yep, you nailed it. That's exactly what it was about. And yes, she did feel like crap afterward. When Kan tracked her down and apologized, she was only too happy to apologize in return for reacting the way she did. But that's what happens sometimes. Misunderstood intentions, shattered expectations, shock and pain... the trick is being able to recover and continue.

The best of intentions, right? Somehow, it always seems like your best intentions are the ones that get you into trouble. It's like Murphy's Law or something. The more you try to do right, the more trouble you get into. In this case Kan hadn't seen this insecure side of her before, and he reacted in a way that he thought was perfectly reasonable. Alanna and Kantaro are fire and ice, and Kan's mistake was trying to throw logic at emotion. That never works out well.

The struggle was worthwhile. I do kind of question what they're doing celebrating six month anniversaries if they're still so light-footed around each other, but it wasn't that bad.

Yeah that was Kan's idea. He just thought Alanna would enjoy it. It was more just a convenient excuse to have a nice dinner with her.

On behalf of my gender, I sincerely apologize. Ladies out there, please understand, we are NO WHERE NEAR as good at understanding/expressing our feelings as you are.

A sad story, but not completely without hope. She loves him--that surely counts for something! Hopefully he can go patch things up with her and help her understand that he truly feels deeply for her, but that she caught him somewhat off-guard and he hadn't worked himself up to the right response.

I agree with the above posters that her reaction was surprisingly quick and unexpected. Granted, she had probably wrestled with herself for a looooong time to get up the guts to tell him that, and in her eyes, it may have seemed like he wasn't validating all of the hard work she had just gone through. I probably would have reacted similarly at first--been completely dumbfounded, feeling powerless. But I think I would've gone after her after about 20 seconds or so.

Boys are dumb. I'll be the first to admit that. But even though we're dumb, we still feel very deeply, and we can get those feelings out into the open if you just give us a chance.

Thanks for writing this one, Xaq--when a writing struggle leads to a good outcome like this, then it's sure to strengthen those mental muscles. :)