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Translation:
Machine Gunner: "Hey! It's an enemy scout!"
Machine Gun Loader: "Ha ha ha! Run, little rabbit, run!"
Well, crap. Looks like the end of the comic, folks. I mean, Fred's not gonna make it out of this one! And to think that he was ultimately undone by kids and trees is perhaps the worst part. So what's the moral of the story, folks? Dirt bikes are not tree-proof.
Next Page -> http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2053963/
Previous Page -> http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1955299
First Page -> http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1335167/
Machine Gunner: "Hey! It's an enemy scout!"
Machine Gun Loader: "Ha ha ha! Run, little rabbit, run!"
Well, crap. Looks like the end of the comic, folks. I mean, Fred's not gonna make it out of this one! And to think that he was ultimately undone by kids and trees is perhaps the worst part. So what's the moral of the story, folks? Dirt bikes are not tree-proof.
Next Page -> http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2053963/
Previous Page -> http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1955299
First Page -> http://www.furaffinity.net/view/1335167/
Category Artwork (Digital) / Comics
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 690 x 966px
File Size 325.2 kB
The barbarism only gets worse, sadly. Child soldiers have often been employed in conflicts around the globe, and while their combat effectiveness is mixed, their presence on the battlefield is a morale drain on the enemy. Additionally, children are quite loyal since they seldom know enough to question the powers that be, and see their tyrants as role models. The fact that they exist and continue to exist, even in societies close to home, speaks volumes about the dark, vestigal pits of human nature.
OK. Glad we can get back to giving each other the full panel critiques like we used to. Let us begin.
Panel 1 Good shot to shet up where they are going. I still envy your ability with backgrounds. Words may be a little cramped but that is alright
Panel 2 I bet this panel was fun to draw. Something so different. Children at play. The shadows and textures and details in the background are topnotch as well. Probably my favorite panel overall.
Panel 3 this panel is a little scrunched in there. I'm not really sure it is necessary. It works fine but it is a little cramped is all. Leaving it out would have given you more room for your dialogue. Just my two cents.
Panel 4 an excellent panel but they aren't saying anything in it. the bike, characters and background look great but the panel doesn't have a huge impact. I think three and four could have been combined more economically. Doing more with less is good I think as long as we are not sacrificing effect.
Panel 5 Wish I knew what the hell they were saying. I don't know many comics that don't translate for you in a caption box or something. I feel like I'm supposed to be able to understand it and I'm missing out because I'm stupid. It must be a pain to get the translations too. Why not put them in <> like most comics do and let us know they are speaking French? I feel like I'm missing a lot. Even movies put in subtitles. OK, I'm not going to keep going on about this. moving on.
Panel 6 A good panel though they are very small in it like a lot of the space is not used for anything. I think we could have done without this panel entirely and made number 5 bigger.
Panel 7 They look like they love their job! Gun, effects and anthros look good. No complaints except for the French again. D'oh! I said I wouldn't bring it up again!
Panel 8 Lots of good stuff. Excellent work on the sound effect. I like the page break with Fred's arm and the design on the background is great too. No complaints again. Solid stuff.
Panel 9 I'm not really sure if you intended this panel to be comical but it sure comes across that way. Fred's expression and the distorted foreshortening is laughable though all of it is really well done. To me, Fred is taking a spill worthy of Disney's Goofy here.
Plot/Writing: this page leaves me wondering what is happening. I'm not sure why the kids are playing at the school at this time. Fred knows something is up and he was obviously right but I'm still not sure why they were there. Too early to tell yet but you've got me wanting to see the next page!
Panel 1 Good shot to shet up where they are going. I still envy your ability with backgrounds. Words may be a little cramped but that is alright
Panel 2 I bet this panel was fun to draw. Something so different. Children at play. The shadows and textures and details in the background are topnotch as well. Probably my favorite panel overall.
Panel 3 this panel is a little scrunched in there. I'm not really sure it is necessary. It works fine but it is a little cramped is all. Leaving it out would have given you more room for your dialogue. Just my two cents.
Panel 4 an excellent panel but they aren't saying anything in it. the bike, characters and background look great but the panel doesn't have a huge impact. I think three and four could have been combined more economically. Doing more with less is good I think as long as we are not sacrificing effect.
Panel 5 Wish I knew what the hell they were saying. I don't know many comics that don't translate for you in a caption box or something. I feel like I'm supposed to be able to understand it and I'm missing out because I'm stupid. It must be a pain to get the translations too. Why not put them in <> like most comics do and let us know they are speaking French? I feel like I'm missing a lot. Even movies put in subtitles. OK, I'm not going to keep going on about this. moving on.
Panel 6 A good panel though they are very small in it like a lot of the space is not used for anything. I think we could have done without this panel entirely and made number 5 bigger.
Panel 7 They look like they love their job! Gun, effects and anthros look good. No complaints except for the French again. D'oh! I said I wouldn't bring it up again!
Panel 8 Lots of good stuff. Excellent work on the sound effect. I like the page break with Fred's arm and the design on the background is great too. No complaints again. Solid stuff.
Panel 9 I'm not really sure if you intended this panel to be comical but it sure comes across that way. Fred's expression and the distorted foreshortening is laughable though all of it is really well done. To me, Fred is taking a spill worthy of Disney's Goofy here.
Plot/Writing: this page leaves me wondering what is happening. I'm not sure why the kids are playing at the school at this time. Fred knows something is up and he was obviously right but I'm still not sure why they were there. Too early to tell yet but you've got me wanting to see the next page!
BTW Furaffinity has a very eloquent way to do your Previous/First/Nextpage buttons.
Each of you pages has a number at the end of the web address. Write down the first page's number and the numbers of the pages before and after. Arrange them inside brackets with the numbers representing PREVIOUS PAGE, FIRST PAGE, NEXT PAGE
Make sure to put the commas inbetween. If you don't have the next page yet, leave a dash. I'm using it for my comic right now. Looks much better.
Each of you pages has a number at the end of the web address. Write down the first page's number and the numbers of the pages before and after. Arrange them inside brackets with the numbers representing PREVIOUS PAGE, FIRST PAGE, NEXT PAGE
Make sure to put the commas inbetween. If you don't have the next page yet, leave a dash. I'm using it for my comic right now. Looks much better.
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