Hey Bartan,

Nice story again! It is always nice to see the different settings where all things are progressing in your stories. Zeltra seemed a bit of an unlikable character at first, maybe a bit by her over-the-top confidence, but luckily she turned out to be a bit nicer than that. I think the cultural habits are adding some fun too the mix!

Mm Thea'daisis seems to have a darker past and can't be blamed by his current standings and motivations. Hopefully things will only go for the better. The fox seemed to be still somewhat mysterious but I am sure more about him will become known.

Also a nice way of connecting the stories at last, it seemed Kraw's story seemed disconnected from everything till the last chapter. But still it is nice to see some background info about him and that he is not represented as an entirely mystery character. And probably that's the person Thea is searching for.

Sorry for commenting a bit late, but yeah I spend my time too much at watching some anime, practicing music and playing the Witcher 3 till school starts again (next week). For school I had also to prepare some stuff for. Most of the time I am really bad at planning things in and then I am again too tired to read in the evening/night. Probably you already know that :P

I will try to read the next of your stories shortly!

Hope you had/have a good vacation, take care!

- Silent Moonlight Dragon

Hello again, Silent!

Don't worry about the late comments. School is starting for the province here next week as well, and I expected everyone to take their last few weeks to just relax. Doing what they like or want, while getting rested up. Not to mention reading late at night can be bad for you, if it's on a screen. (More or less, the white backgrounds will keep your mind awake) Oh, if only I could make paperbacks without the sacrifice of trees

Anyway, thank you again for reading this one. I'm still trying out different things as well as doing my best to make characters seem unique. Zeltra is definitely one of those odd ones, but you've got her figured out. She often takes too much pride in her culture, and therefore tends to be rather competitive against others. One of the main ideas was for her to be a little bit obnoxious due to this pride, but it does tone down in the second act. Most likely from then on as well, until she comes up to another Northe.

Thea... I really don't want to spoil too much. As well as with Roe, who is revealed in act 2. I have a good idea where I'm going with Thea (and the thumbnail will make sense about the end of act 3), but getting there, he's going to seem all over the place. But I mention this because it's actually part of his character. :x Okay, no more spoilers.

Yes, Krow's (Think of the black bird Crow, sometimes called a Raven) sections really seem out of place. There's alot of information there, and I'm only hoping I did it justice I'm not sure if it made alot of sense towards the end (it might've been too vague). But the idea of it was: if you don't reach the next tier of enlightenment within 100,000 years (during that period, people lived a very long time) then they would have to start over again. Usually from scratch. But when that meteor hit the spiritual grid and really messed the planet up, that time limit was drastically reduced to 13,000 years. So, towards the end when Krow said "I'm sick of this darkness." Everything started to reset for another attempt.

Again, not sure if that was clear. Perhaps I should go back and edit that a bit more, but I hope this helps.
Heh, I guess it was pretty obvious that he's the one Thea is searching for, but the big question is: why did he call him something else?

Things have been getting better here, and even got over this mini-writer's block. I'm not trying to overwhelm you with new stories, but the ideas just come out. Read them whenever you feel it it, and when you get time.

Good luck when school starts! All the

~Bartan

I'm not 100% sure how to post a comment about this. Since it was made over seven years ago, I doubt you'd remember much of the details of what exactly happened. I mean I don't remember anything about what I write a week after I write it. >>

But I thoroughly enjoyed the read, and I'm excited to see where it goes! The plot with Krow seems completely different than the plot with Thea, so I'm curious to see how you tied them together. Also, I loved Thea's sarcastic humor throughout the whole act, and I relate a lot to his feelings about what he perceives as "freedom".

Something I noticed while reading, though, is you really never gave any descriptions for anybody. I didn't know what a Tirix was, I don't know what an "Arroch" is, or what the island and it's structures looked like. (though maybe that was intentional because most of Krow's segments are vague teasers and foreshadowing. Which I enjoyed.) And you used the word "humanoid" once or twice with no other descriptors, so I really had no clue.

And even with Zeltra and Roe. I know they're a badger and a white fox respectively, but without any info on their clothes, their stature, the way they talk, the way they walk, every scene I had a wildly different picture in my head that forms from the single word descriptor of, "Badger." Also without any descriptions for Roe's rifle, my mind kept flickering between a colonial musket and an M1 Garand. Neither I think are correct, though it probably doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

It's really not a big deal, and it was fun thinking of all the different possible variations of stuff happening in the picture my mind creates while reading, but I tend to throw myself off a bit.

Like how I kept picturing Roe as death from Puss and Boots with a gun, or how throughout the entire act, Zeltra had the heaviest Scottish accent imaginable. Which, after reading more, probably isn't true x3

But yeah, I really enjoyed reading the first part. Excited to see how it progresses. Oh yeah, also you wrote chapter 3 twice, so there's an extra chapter.

I also listened to Corridors of Time while reading a bit of it. There's just something about atmospheric 90's RPG music that speaks to your soul, doesn't it? There's a couple tracks from Breath of Fire 3 I still listen to because of it. Definitely a mood.

Oooooooooh, you're going through Anthem?

"Like how I kept picturing Roe as death from Puss and Boots with a gun, or how throughout the entire act, Zeltra had the heaviest Scottish accent imaginable. Which, after reading more, probably isn't true x3"

Funny enough, THIS is why I don't always describe things. To hear what people just randomly tend to think of is very amusing and I feel they get a better connection to it in general, because it's kinda "Their own version of the characters." It doesn't work for everyone, but I find when I'm reading something I tend to picture them in my own mind and change any little details if they ever come up. Forcing things like "what clothing they wear" or "what accent they have" only puts a dent into whatever the reader was picturing, to the point where whatever they were thinking of no longer really fits. This is the thing about literature media (along with my inability to properly draw something); describing things take a lot of time and you kinda need to put the plot on pause to try to shoehorn a description into someone's mind. I've seen it so often in modern writing that it often just bothered me, and when it came to attempting to fish out what was actually Important within that description was just tedious.

So, instead, I give them a basic species (or something close, like panther/tiger for a Tirix. You get a good size and shape from that description alone), some colors for their hair/mane and eyes to help keep track of, and a name that (very very often) starts with a different letter. And if there isn't one of these filled out, then it isn't important enough to know or it doesn't really matter (like Arroch, for example. You don't know this one just yet, but it's more of a mindset rather than a specific species).

I know this can get frustrating for some people, I've many state that they find they get this Fear Of Missing Out from it, yet once they learn this it's easier for them to let go of that fear. There are certain little details that can easily be missed, like the bolt handle on Roe's rifle acting very similar to the M1, but it could be any kind of bolt action rifle. (This detail was stated actually at the tail end of the dire bear fight; when the two were prone together and Zeltra reached up to reload the weapon while Roe pulled the trigger) It could also just be something entirely unique to the world too.

There's more I want to say, but I'll let you go through it yourself first. I know Krow's subplot was kind of hard to follow, but it does get less complex from here on out. Thanks for giving this series a shot though, mate