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More from Kyell
So I wrote a Zootopia fanfiction. It's posted elsewhere on the net under a different name so that unwary young'uns don't come back here and get their eyes burnt out, so if you HAPPEN to find it elsewhere, please don't comment with this name that you know who I am and so on and so forth. Okay? Thanks.
The story's a bit long, so here's the beginning, and the rest of it is in the PDF if you want. I didn't want you guys to have to read 18K words on FA. It takes place as Nick arrives at the Zootopia Police Academy to find the e-mail address he's been assigned...
"Stars"
From: fox[at]academy.zpd.gov
To: jhopps[at]zpd.gov
Subject: So I got here
Hey, Carrots, check out the e-mail address they gave me. Still think this was a good idea?
-fox, apparently
From: jhopps[at]zpd.gov
To: fox[at]academy.zpd.gov
Subject: Re: So I got here
Dear Nick,
I thought they’d treat you better. :( Let me make some calls.
Love,
Judy
P.S. I’m really proud of you!
From: fox[at]academy.zpd.gov
To: jhopps[at]zpd.gov
Subject: Re: So I got here
Oh, Carrots, I thought I’d rubbed off on you at least a little. Your letters read like they’re out of the public school style textbook. Love? I think you’re jumping a little ahead. You should know I’m not ready to meet your parents, and they sure as heck aren’t ready to meet me unless I throw on an apron and a drawl and roll around in flour.
Don’t make any calls for me. I’ll handle this myself.
But thanks.
From: jhopps[at]zpd.gov
To: nwilde[at]academy.zpd.gov
Subject: Too late
Dear Nick,
I figured by ‘handle it’ you meant you’d leave the address that way and stare at it resenting everyone for reducing you to your species so I went ahead and called Sergeant Bearester and she changed it. Now you can focus on becoming a better officer and not on resenting everyone.
Speaking of Bearester, Chief Bogo assigned me a temporary partner. Don’t be jealous. He’s a brown bear named Paddington and he’s really sweet. Just a really nice guy. Some of the guys really love him.
Yeah, that’s right. Friends can love other friends and it’s not weird.
Love,
Judy
The story's a bit long, so here's the beginning, and the rest of it is in the PDF if you want. I didn't want you guys to have to read 18K words on FA. It takes place as Nick arrives at the Zootopia Police Academy to find the e-mail address he's been assigned...
"Stars"
From: fox[at]academy.zpd.gov
To: jhopps[at]zpd.gov
Subject: So I got here
Hey, Carrots, check out the e-mail address they gave me. Still think this was a good idea?
-fox, apparently
From: jhopps[at]zpd.gov
To: fox[at]academy.zpd.gov
Subject: Re: So I got here
Dear Nick,
I thought they’d treat you better. :( Let me make some calls.
Love,
Judy
P.S. I’m really proud of you!
From: fox[at]academy.zpd.gov
To: jhopps[at]zpd.gov
Subject: Re: So I got here
Oh, Carrots, I thought I’d rubbed off on you at least a little. Your letters read like they’re out of the public school style textbook. Love? I think you’re jumping a little ahead. You should know I’m not ready to meet your parents, and they sure as heck aren’t ready to meet me unless I throw on an apron and a drawl and roll around in flour.
Don’t make any calls for me. I’ll handle this myself.
But thanks.
From: jhopps[at]zpd.gov
To: nwilde[at]academy.zpd.gov
Subject: Too late
Dear Nick,
I figured by ‘handle it’ you meant you’d leave the address that way and stare at it resenting everyone for reducing you to your species so I went ahead and called Sergeant Bearester and she changed it. Now you can focus on becoming a better officer and not on resenting everyone.
Speaking of Bearester, Chief Bogo assigned me a temporary partner. Don’t be jealous. He’s a brown bear named Paddington and he’s really sweet. Just a really nice guy. Some of the guys really love him.
Yeah, that’s right. Friends can love other friends and it’s not weird.
Love,
Judy
Category Story / Fanart
Species Vulpine (Other)
Size 120 x 89px
File Size 476.7 kB
I really enjoyed this. I feel like you did a great job catching the mannerisms and 'feel' of those two characters and how they would interact digitally. Seeing the time Nick spent in the academy expanded upon was at the absolute top of my list for my dream "bonus features". Thank you for putting your heart into this and adding just a little bit more life to the already rich world of Zootopia for the hour or so I got to enjoy reading it.
This is was very well written, but more than that, very well thought out too. I was most impressed at your fidelity when writing these characters that aren't your own. Replicating foreign entities is no small task. As others said above, you nailed Judy and Nick. Bravo there. All your additions to the universe felt perfectly at home and make total sense too. Even if I hadn't read your commentary on the movie where you mentioned having seen it multiple times, I would have known you've seen this thing at lease a dozen just by the quality of the fan-fiction. (You even caught and added MuzzleTime!)
The presentation through e-mails/texts was interesting, and also impressive on a technical level. I thought the plot structure was a bit odd. We started at A, had C explained to us, and then we had to find out what B would be in both of the plots. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I was half expecting something unexpected to pop up when they found the "stolen" fabric, and I was surprised when it played out exactly as it had already been explained to us. My best guess as to why you made that choice for this piece is that it allowed for the story to focus on the characters by lightening up the plot overhead.
My favorite moment was when Nick said his phone clearly hadn't been designed by foxes. I liked the star thematic undercurrent, but I think it was a little bit under explored which led to the ending feeling much weaker than this story deserved. Overall I definitely liked it and I felt securely hooked at the top of the second page when Judy described what she expected Nick's "handling it" to be.
Also, I agree with Nick: "Blueberries" is a silly nickname. =P
The presentation through e-mails/texts was interesting, and also impressive on a technical level. I thought the plot structure was a bit odd. We started at A, had C explained to us, and then we had to find out what B would be in both of the plots. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I was half expecting something unexpected to pop up when they found the "stolen" fabric, and I was surprised when it played out exactly as it had already been explained to us. My best guess as to why you made that choice for this piece is that it allowed for the story to focus on the characters by lightening up the plot overhead.
My favorite moment was when Nick said his phone clearly hadn't been designed by foxes. I liked the star thematic undercurrent, but I think it was a little bit under explored which led to the ending feeling much weaker than this story deserved. Overall I definitely liked it and I felt securely hooked at the top of the second page when Judy described what she expected Nick's "handling it" to be.
Also, I agree with Nick: "Blueberries" is a silly nickname. =P
Certainly a well-done piece overall. I especially love the way you decided to tell the story through messages and chat sessions(reminiscent of, oddly enough, Bram Stoker's Dracula which often told the story through letters and journal entries) and this is probably going to sound very redundant - but you captured Nick and Judy's characters perfectly. I suppose its not surprising as characters seem to be among your strong suites(from what I've read of your novels.)
I won't say much about that since Lathom already summed up what I would have said anyway. I really liked how you handled the academy sections(or rather, Nick's account of them.) and his fellow students. The "stolen fabric" plot was interesting as well, even if it just seems like a thinly-veiled device to get the duo to solve a case again, and in that way it does its job.
I'm trying to keep this comment brief since I don't really have much to say that hasn't already been said, so this all may come off like a glorified 'just wanted to say 'hi'' comment.
I won't say much about that since Lathom already summed up what I would have said anyway. I really liked how you handled the academy sections(or rather, Nick's account of them.) and his fellow students. The "stolen fabric" plot was interesting as well, even if it just seems like a thinly-veiled device to get the duo to solve a case again, and in that way it does its job.
I'm trying to keep this comment brief since I don't really have much to say that hasn't already been said, so this all may come off like a glorified 'just wanted to say 'hi'' comment.
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