"I’m going back on the diet on Monday,No more French Fries, chocolate or gin;
Right after midnight on Sunday,It's back on the diet, I've just got to try it,
It's back on the diet again.
Last week 1 went to the doctor - in with a pain in my toe,
He looked at me over his glasses then spoke in a voice grave and low;
Just step up on the scales there, dear me just as 1 feared -
If you don't lose some pounds you won't still be around
By the time next Christmas is here and he said
Going next day to a party, thought I'd try on some new gear;
Selected the usual sizes but the problem was soon very clear;
In spite of straining and stretching, buttons flew off left and right;
I couldn't fit in a thing as the zippers went ping and even the tie was too tight.
Saturday night to the Tavern, in for a half’un or three,
Came back home around midnight, found I'd forgotten my key;
Tried to get in through the window - got myself stuck half-way in:
Hind-quarters out with hailstones about, shoulders and head in the bin
So farewell fry in the morning, so long whiskey and beer,
Bye-bye battered cod and chips - your days are numbered I fear;
Hello bran and cornflakes, cottage cheese and black tay
Fruit by the bagful, nuts by the mouthful, tomatoes and lettuce pray"

lyrics © Ben sands


quick doodle thingy cuz I don't wanna do my speeches for school XD