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Some Literary Agents ask for either the first few chapters, or first 30 pages from those of us writers who are actively seeking representation. Because "Project: Ezil" is broken into a number of chapters, this means to get to the 30 page requirement one would need to go as far as this section goes to accomplish that particular goal.
So, without further adieu, I give you the next five chapters of my latest master-work, Project: Ezil. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did writing them. Furthermore, if you should have any opinions in regard to it, please feel free to share. As it is my ultimate goal to try and get this story picked up by a publishing house, I want to ensure it is something worth sharing with the general public. :)
If you have not read the first half, or may have missed the overall description of the story as a whole, I invite you to go here to get yourself caught up. Happy reading.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2056064
SPECIAL THANKS:
nishi for his support and assistance in helping to make this story the best that it can be. I couldn't do it without you!
JAWS: By Freedom Scientific - Without this lovely screen-reading program, my eye would burn out of its socket from writing anything these days. If you know anyone who needs help using the computer who may have a visual disability, I highly recommend acquiring this program.
So, without further adieu, I give you the next five chapters of my latest master-work, Project: Ezil. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did writing them. Furthermore, if you should have any opinions in regard to it, please feel free to share. As it is my ultimate goal to try and get this story picked up by a publishing house, I want to ensure it is something worth sharing with the general public. :)
If you have not read the first half, or may have missed the overall description of the story as a whole, I invite you to go here to get yourself caught up. Happy reading.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2056064
SPECIAL THANKS:
nishi for his support and assistance in helping to make this story the best that it can be. I couldn't do it without you!JAWS: By Freedom Scientific - Without this lovely screen-reading program, my eye would burn out of its socket from writing anything these days. If you know anyone who needs help using the computer who may have a visual disability, I highly recommend acquiring this program.
Category Story / Fantasy
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 94 x 120px
File Size 75.5 kB
Listed in Folders
I appreciate the encouragement, Ox. It feels good to not do all this work and keep it to myself. My wife just doesn't have time to read it and I know nobody else in my RL circle who really cares enough to look it over.
Stories, art, and music are much like toys. Especially when you bring in the principle from the classic "Rudolph: The Red Nosed Reindeer." How did Charlie in the Box put it, "No toy is truly happy unless it loved by a child."
On the reference, I feel no written body of work, drawn piece of art, or developed selection of music can be more than just empty whims until it actually touches someone outside of the one it initially came from. Yep, yep, yep!
Stories, art, and music are much like toys. Especially when you bring in the principle from the classic "Rudolph: The Red Nosed Reindeer." How did Charlie in the Box put it, "No toy is truly happy unless it loved by a child."
On the reference, I feel no written body of work, drawn piece of art, or developed selection of music can be more than just empty whims until it actually touches someone outside of the one it initially came from. Yep, yep, yep!
Hehe, it's like my Lit class last semester again. (: We need at least some attention as validation of our existence - knowing someone cares makes all the difference! Even just your words, saying that I should pursue my Circle thingy was enough to create a whole series! And just like with my next comic, having one friend randomly bring it up out of nowhere was enough to push me to do all the hard work that I thought would be worthless. Any bit of love can really make the biggest of differences. (:
There's probably more that can be added to that, but I guess I don't always have the words with me. But I think we both understand the concept!
There's probably more that can be added to that, but I guess I don't always have the words with me. But I think we both understand the concept!
At the top of page three - closets/closest
Hehe, well winding up in a bush is almost like winding up beside it. :D Either way, it's a good thing she made the train so it wasn't all a waste or anything. :3 It reminds me of the other day seeing some kid rushing to get on a bus before it closed! It's nice the cat girl was thoughtful enough to help out. :3
Oh, at the top of page 3, at the beginning of the first paragraph, I think you wrote 'closets' instead of 'closest'. Just a little thing. (:
I hope you didn't accidentally sit on anyone or their baby looking for a seat either! But that part made me giggle, even if it's kinda frustrating. :3
Hmm, I hope it's not too rude to ask, but the cat girl could tell Bo was looking for a seat? :x Was it because she could hear someone moving around? Or maybe she has some slight vision? :3 I don't know much, but I'm curious!
Rock climbing sounds like good times! Ehehe. And the name of the train station they arrive at... it sounds a little familiar! ;3 Ehehe, sorry if I remember wrong, but I think you mentioned an institute in the story having the same name - maybe that's where the cat girl is going? (: Either way, it's really an honor to have a name snuck into the story!
Oh, and the titles, like Train of Thought, or Take a Hike, were silly. 8D Ehehe~
Third chapter! Eep, figuring out the bus things sounded sad. ): Getting the courage to ask for help is pretty hard to do... I'm still too stubborn to get help when I need it too. :3 But I'm glad the wolf was nice enough to help her on her way!
Woo! And in the end she made it to her pals. (: It's nice that her friend looks out for her and everything, even though no one likes to be babied. And it's kind of hard to tell someone they don't have to be as watchful as they are, since it's really kind of them to even care in the first place... maybe they can balance things a bit, later on. (:
I wouldn't mind eating a menu at a restaurant though. :D Everything on it looks delicious!
Glasses would be a good recommendation too, I forgot about that! Besides, they can make someone look even cuter! ;P But I understand the pride issue too... some might feel like it's admitting to weakness, and when you're struggling with something, it's a difficult thing to admit. D:
Last chapter! The egg finally hatched? :3 Woop woop! It seems like the scout lady knows something about it too if it didn't faze her... maybe there was some larger planning or something, I dunno! But either way, everything's just starting, so I'm sure there's plenty more adventure waiting.
Hehe, I just kinda breezed right through these, but luckily they're easy to read, and I figured while I was in the mood I may as well just read more. (: Hehe, good times! I hope you have fun as you continue writing and bringing the piece to a finish. :3
Hehe, well winding up in a bush is almost like winding up beside it. :D Either way, it's a good thing she made the train so it wasn't all a waste or anything. :3 It reminds me of the other day seeing some kid rushing to get on a bus before it closed! It's nice the cat girl was thoughtful enough to help out. :3
Oh, at the top of page 3, at the beginning of the first paragraph, I think you wrote 'closets' instead of 'closest'. Just a little thing. (:
I hope you didn't accidentally sit on anyone or their baby looking for a seat either! But that part made me giggle, even if it's kinda frustrating. :3
Hmm, I hope it's not too rude to ask, but the cat girl could tell Bo was looking for a seat? :x Was it because she could hear someone moving around? Or maybe she has some slight vision? :3 I don't know much, but I'm curious!
Rock climbing sounds like good times! Ehehe. And the name of the train station they arrive at... it sounds a little familiar! ;3 Ehehe, sorry if I remember wrong, but I think you mentioned an institute in the story having the same name - maybe that's where the cat girl is going? (: Either way, it's really an honor to have a name snuck into the story!
Oh, and the titles, like Train of Thought, or Take a Hike, were silly. 8D Ehehe~
Third chapter! Eep, figuring out the bus things sounded sad. ): Getting the courage to ask for help is pretty hard to do... I'm still too stubborn to get help when I need it too. :3 But I'm glad the wolf was nice enough to help her on her way!
Woo! And in the end she made it to her pals. (: It's nice that her friend looks out for her and everything, even though no one likes to be babied. And it's kind of hard to tell someone they don't have to be as watchful as they are, since it's really kind of them to even care in the first place... maybe they can balance things a bit, later on. (:
I wouldn't mind eating a menu at a restaurant though. :D Everything on it looks delicious!
Glasses would be a good recommendation too, I forgot about that! Besides, they can make someone look even cuter! ;P But I understand the pride issue too... some might feel like it's admitting to weakness, and when you're struggling with something, it's a difficult thing to admit. D:
Last chapter! The egg finally hatched? :3 Woop woop! It seems like the scout lady knows something about it too if it didn't faze her... maybe there was some larger planning or something, I dunno! But either way, everything's just starting, so I'm sure there's plenty more adventure waiting.
Hehe, I just kinda breezed right through these, but luckily they're easy to read, and I figured while I was in the mood I may as well just read more. (: Hehe, good times! I hope you have fun as you continue writing and bringing the piece to a finish. :3
As crap. 8D I wrote a lot... and the very first thing I forgot to delete - I was going to make a list of things to talk about and bring up, but then I just started writing instead... I didn't mean to bring up the spelling error twice, or in such a blunt way. 8D Ahaha, woopsie.
Ah, Ox, you can be as blunt as you want. It's your honesty that has been the greatest of help to me thus far throughout this writing process. Plus, having it straight out there makes me know I have to fix it ASAP.
As for the cat girl, she kind of figured Bo was looking for a seat, because she was sitting right by the door Bo had come in at. Since she didn't hear Bo go by, she kind of used her "Blind Sense" to sumise the shuffling, fox girl was still looking for a spot to sit. It's kind of like "Using the Force." Even if you close your eyes, you can often "Feel" like someone is around. In an enclosed space, like a light rail train, the sensation can come easily when you get the bonus of hearing the footfalls nearby not going in a direction away from you. :)
Now, unlike Bo, I ALWAYS wore glasses except when I was a dingus and took them off during High School to "show how non-blind I was." If a dumb-ass award could be given to anybody for that year, I'd be in high contention for that smooth move.
Oxnard Station will be the "Staging Area" for much of the book. The "Oxnard Center for the Blind" is in that town and, for that reason, Bo will be going there every day throughout the entire summer. I was going to write Chapter 25 today, but life just didn't allow it. Or, more precisely, my wife told me I had to fold socks for my son. Baby socks are terribly small and pesky. Yep, yep, yep!
As I mentioned, to, I name the center, and city, in homage of two very important things. One is after the stop that came after the one I got off on when I attended the REAL "Colorado Center for the Blind." It was for "Oxford," but I always called it "Oxnard." :) The other reason is that, as you are my closest OL friend, I just enjoy writing and thinking of it. It's like a wonderful past memory has managed to sandwich itself with a positive part of my current life. How can I go wrong with that? :)
So, in that, thanks Ox! :)
As for the cat girl, she kind of figured Bo was looking for a seat, because she was sitting right by the door Bo had come in at. Since she didn't hear Bo go by, she kind of used her "Blind Sense" to sumise the shuffling, fox girl was still looking for a spot to sit. It's kind of like "Using the Force." Even if you close your eyes, you can often "Feel" like someone is around. In an enclosed space, like a light rail train, the sensation can come easily when you get the bonus of hearing the footfalls nearby not going in a direction away from you. :)
Now, unlike Bo, I ALWAYS wore glasses except when I was a dingus and took them off during High School to "show how non-blind I was." If a dumb-ass award could be given to anybody for that year, I'd be in high contention for that smooth move.
Oxnard Station will be the "Staging Area" for much of the book. The "Oxnard Center for the Blind" is in that town and, for that reason, Bo will be going there every day throughout the entire summer. I was going to write Chapter 25 today, but life just didn't allow it. Or, more precisely, my wife told me I had to fold socks for my son. Baby socks are terribly small and pesky. Yep, yep, yep!
As I mentioned, to, I name the center, and city, in homage of two very important things. One is after the stop that came after the one I got off on when I attended the REAL "Colorado Center for the Blind." It was for "Oxford," but I always called it "Oxnard." :) The other reason is that, as you are my closest OL friend, I just enjoy writing and thinking of it. It's like a wonderful past memory has managed to sandwich itself with a positive part of my current life. How can I go wrong with that? :)
So, in that, thanks Ox! :)
Hehe, I'm glad it didn't seem rude! Especially since it was accidental. Hurray! :D
Oh yeah! Like when someone is hovering over your shoulder, or just outside the room you're in. :3 Even if you can't see them, we can still sense their presence, and get hints from the sounds they make as they move. I misread and thought she was sitting a bit away from where Bo was, but I understand. :3
It's alright, we all do things like that sometimes! (: Especially when we want to fit in... at least it's a good way to learn, so that you're not as likely to do it again. ;P
You're far along! (: And it's good that you're still doing your part around the house! I thought baby socks were too small to even be folded. :B I don't even fold my own socks... I guess as a parent you can find yourself getting into some good habits! (:
Ooh, Oxford! How neat. :D So it's not too far fetched, just switched around a bit. ;3 Either way, I think it's nice to be able to celebrate what you have at the moment, compared to thinking back too much on what's in the past like I tend to. 8D But that's what's so fun about this place - we get to make all sorts of fun new memories and live in them while they're here! Just like we can enjoy our friendship. :D Hehehe.
Oh yeah! Like when someone is hovering over your shoulder, or just outside the room you're in. :3 Even if you can't see them, we can still sense their presence, and get hints from the sounds they make as they move. I misread and thought she was sitting a bit away from where Bo was, but I understand. :3
It's alright, we all do things like that sometimes! (: Especially when we want to fit in... at least it's a good way to learn, so that you're not as likely to do it again. ;P
You're far along! (: And it's good that you're still doing your part around the house! I thought baby socks were too small to even be folded. :B I don't even fold my own socks... I guess as a parent you can find yourself getting into some good habits! (:
Ooh, Oxford! How neat. :D So it's not too far fetched, just switched around a bit. ;3 Either way, I think it's nice to be able to celebrate what you have at the moment, compared to thinking back too much on what's in the past like I tend to. 8D But that's what's so fun about this place - we get to make all sorts of fun new memories and live in them while they're here! Just like we can enjoy our friendship. :D Hehehe.
*Smiles* You have no idea. Currently, I have up to Sketch 24 written. Though, I'm a bit nervous about putting more sections up. As a strategist yourself, do you feel I would be leaving my work too wide open for thievery if I were to publically share another section?
I like to share and I REALLY like discovering what I do right and wrong. However, in the end, I do hope to try and get this noticed by a publishing house. I was thinking of offering additional sections via e-mail to those who would be interested in reading more. What are your thoughts to that?
I like to share and I REALLY like discovering what I do right and wrong. However, in the end, I do hope to try and get this noticed by a publishing house. I was thinking of offering additional sections via e-mail to those who would be interested in reading more. What are your thoughts to that?
Well, I haven't heard of any of the writers here having that problem, but I'm not sure how many of them are actually interested in getting their books published. If you're intending to sell this to the furry community as a whole, then you should most definitely not put any more of the story up. If you intend this work to be aimed at a more "mainstream" audience then it couldn't hurt to keep posting it up here so your story has more of a chance of being read by others. This, of course, would give you a wider range of opinions on it.
Although the safest option would indeed be releasing the parts via email to some trusted people you know. However, the only people you'd probably have to fear about ripping off your story would be your watchers and I think most ( if not all) of them are trustworthy. I don't think either path is going to have a very large impact on your story unless, again, you intend this to be sold exclusively to the furry community.
Second question: I, for one, wouldn't mind reading the rest of your story via email. I can even proof-read it for RARE spelling and grammatical errors. =3
Although the safest option would indeed be releasing the parts via email to some trusted people you know. However, the only people you'd probably have to fear about ripping off your story would be your watchers and I think most ( if not all) of them are trustworthy. I don't think either path is going to have a very large impact on your story unless, again, you intend this to be sold exclusively to the furry community.
Second question: I, for one, wouldn't mind reading the rest of your story via email. I can even proof-read it for RARE spelling and grammatical errors. =3
Thanks lots for your input on this matter. It really REALLY means a lot.
As for where I'd direct it, I'd let it go where it is best suited. As the story is "partly" based on my life growing up partially blind, I'd hope I could use it to inspire others with disabilities to realize, before I did in real-life, that there are options out there that can help and make them succeed. The "Fantasy" element is to keep the story as interesting as possible while getting that point across. :)
You are right about the Watcher problem. Though, as most of my watchers are folks I talk to regularly, I don't see much reason not to trust them. Perhaps I will fire off one more section and see where the "Views" go. If they stay consistantly in the under 20 range, I may just finish positing this way. Otherwise, if you'd still be interested, I'd be very honored to share the rest and get your thoughts. :)
Once more, my many, many thanks to you, Tacki. If there's anything I may be able to do in return, please let me know. *Hugs*
As for where I'd direct it, I'd let it go where it is best suited. As the story is "partly" based on my life growing up partially blind, I'd hope I could use it to inspire others with disabilities to realize, before I did in real-life, that there are options out there that can help and make them succeed. The "Fantasy" element is to keep the story as interesting as possible while getting that point across. :)
You are right about the Watcher problem. Though, as most of my watchers are folks I talk to regularly, I don't see much reason not to trust them. Perhaps I will fire off one more section and see where the "Views" go. If they stay consistantly in the under 20 range, I may just finish positing this way. Otherwise, if you'd still be interested, I'd be very honored to share the rest and get your thoughts. :)
Once more, my many, many thanks to you, Tacki. If there's anything I may be able to do in return, please let me know. *Hugs*
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