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wip, status update
Doorknobbing problem in chapter 1.1 known - Still dorknobbing in following chapters?
if yes => suggestions on how to avoid it?
Looking for art; visuals will be updated soon.
totally dead , falling to bed now
Doorknobbing problem in chapter 1.1 known - Still dorknobbing in following chapters?
if yes => suggestions on how to avoid it?
Looking for art; visuals will be updated soon.
totally dead , falling to bed now
Category Story / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 1.67 MB
It can be read in one day.
;)
But there is no need to.
Typographical errors are not yet my main concern.
I am still working on the viewpoint of the stories from which to write them, as well as on the usage of words and such.
I had to realize writing something aiming for 400 pages is a vastly different thing than a 5 pages porn flick.
At the moment the viewpoint is a third person imaginary observer.
Any opinions / suggestions?
;)
But there is no need to.
Typographical errors are not yet my main concern.
I am still working on the viewpoint of the stories from which to write them, as well as on the usage of words and such.
I had to realize writing something aiming for 400 pages is a vastly different thing than a 5 pages porn flick.
At the moment the viewpoint is a third person imaginary observer.
Any opinions / suggestions?
I love the story so far! I really like how alien species act in a way that is fitting for their species. The horses are slow, elegant, and powerful, the fennecs are flitting, hyperactive little balls of humour and joy. Mobbing Peter when he tries to go somewhere they don't want him to go and gently getting him back on the right trail/road/whatever is really cute. And it’s something canines actually do!
And I love how the Fennec's version of how Peter defeated the tiger gets more and more epic with every telling! XD
I haven't noticed any gramma or spelling errors this time around.
Some suggestions (in no particular order):
On page 28 the amazons use clay slabs to make notes on when counting the bales of hay. A better idea might be to have them use wax tablets like the Ancient Romans and Greeks did. These were wax tablets set into wooden boards that were used to make notes before anything was written on parchment as the later was extremely expensive and couldn't be wasted. Wax would be better as unlike clay it doesn't dry out. One wax tablet (in theory) can last forever as you just heat the flat end of a stylus to melt and smear the wax flat when you need to make new notes. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wax_tablet for more information.
What kind of material is the castle made of? Is it just a defensive structure made from local materials? Is it a status symbol of the owner, made from expensive imported stone? Or is it a mix of the two, with expensive, imported stone used to dress the important parts like the chapel and the Amazon’s chambers?
What role do the stallions play in the Amazonian society? And where are they?
Page 36 - wild wine? Don't you mean wild grapes?
And I love how the Fennec's version of how Peter defeated the tiger gets more and more epic with every telling! XD
I haven't noticed any gramma or spelling errors this time around.
Some suggestions (in no particular order):
On page 28 the amazons use clay slabs to make notes on when counting the bales of hay. A better idea might be to have them use wax tablets like the Ancient Romans and Greeks did. These were wax tablets set into wooden boards that were used to make notes before anything was written on parchment as the later was extremely expensive and couldn't be wasted. Wax would be better as unlike clay it doesn't dry out. One wax tablet (in theory) can last forever as you just heat the flat end of a stylus to melt and smear the wax flat when you need to make new notes. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wax_tablet for more information.
What kind of material is the castle made of? Is it just a defensive structure made from local materials? Is it a status symbol of the owner, made from expensive imported stone? Or is it a mix of the two, with expensive, imported stone used to dress the important parts like the chapel and the Amazon’s chambers?
What role do the stallions play in the Amazonian society? And where are they?
Page 36 - wild wine? Don't you mean wild grapes?
Will take care of those things.
Clay tablets are used for long term logistic notes due to their durability.
the amazones have an almost perpetual history spanning almost 20000 years.
Their society was creating glass on a daily base when humans just came out of their caves for the better part.
Just, they never felt much of a need to improve, as what they had served them well enough.
The castle is made of either white marble, polished diorite or it is chalked; not sure what. most likely a mix, and most of all only later on whitened.
The inner castle is the original initial fortified outpost, from which later on the city grew.
Stallions are a tiny minority. a city of 1000 amazones has like 5 to 10 males.
"Fathers of the Legion" so to say.
The stallions are both the carriers of their research and sciences as well as their social ... backbone.
And their clocks.
Stallions play music from their towers each morning when the sun rises to awaken the mostly slumbering town, and their tower is their smoke/ light-based communications node.
Clay tablets are used for long term logistic notes due to their durability.
the amazones have an almost perpetual history spanning almost 20000 years.
Their society was creating glass on a daily base when humans just came out of their caves for the better part.
Just, they never felt much of a need to improve, as what they had served them well enough.
The castle is made of either white marble, polished diorite or it is chalked; not sure what. most likely a mix, and most of all only later on whitened.
The inner castle is the original initial fortified outpost, from which later on the city grew.
Stallions are a tiny minority. a city of 1000 amazones has like 5 to 10 males.
"Fathers of the Legion" so to say.
The stallions are both the carriers of their research and sciences as well as their social ... backbone.
And their clocks.
Stallions play music from their towers each morning when the sun rises to awaken the mostly slumbering town, and their tower is their smoke/ light-based communications node.
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