Good work, can't wait to see more!

classic space battle.

I'm glad you liked it. We have a couple more fighter flights as this story goes on.

Lisitiza's got it, Lisitiza's GOT IT! *Bwuahahs as she gives the fellow bluefox a bluecookie for the awesomesaucieness of herself*

An awesome scene, to be sure. Excellent descriptions and firm hold of action. It did make me wonder how their coffee cups are set up to keep from spilling under such maneuvers, though. ; )

One typo found:
"Turning on her landing radar she pinged the rock, getting some back some basic information about it."
An extra "some" in there.

I'm sure they have some sort of local gravity field to keep the copy in place.

Yes, 4 chapters in a single sitting. And to think this was all read while at work. I had a bit of free time this evening~

Now, I like how you give the realistic insight to Lis's life. Which is showing more of Fox McCloud before any of the Starfox games happened. She always belonged to the black. Meaning that Fox always wanted to be a pilot in space. As if space was the only place he would ever feel comfortable and complete. Now that's showing a character who has a life plan right there. It's like a mechanic feeling complete at the auto show or a Ford plant. That kind of beginning is good as it shows what their element is and the person they really are.


The only down side is that.. in space it's...rather quiet. One can only expect that after while sitting in the cockpit, you're going to want to do something. Or in this case, drink something. It was good seeing that Liz is starting to enjoy being in space again (If she can't enjoy the coffee) until they fake navigational beacon comes up. That was a good problem to add. It's not in your face and noticeable, but a subtle problem that would have been missed has she took a nap like Falco. Thus showing it indeed DOES pay to be alert, even on the simplest jobs.


Now, what I like follow next is the dogfight between the crew and the raiders. It's amazing to read because it not only shows incredibly detailed action and the maneuvers of the ship and the fight with the raiders, but does it well enough to stay interesting WITHOUT the use of technical jargons, and too much focus on details that are absolutely minor. (Like how many cylinders are in the engines which allow them to have higher performance and so on...) And that makes it able to read through without being bored with it.


Finally, it ends with how a dog fight should end. The raiders surrendering, and Lis giving a smile that she was glad that no one could see. Even as a female, she still had it and was the leader of Starfox, gender be damned.





I'm going to have to say, this is a fun read. It may be one of the very, and I do mean VERY few stories on Furaffinity that I take the time to read through. (And I go through a lot..) Old or not, I'm going to finish this story.

Sure, you can get a nice set of commissions and all, but this is what you put effort into making yourself. It may just be me, but I look at what people do with their own ability before everything else.


....good thing I did, as it's much more enjoyable going through than the pictures.





You flatter me with all your comments. :) And you right, she belongs in space no matter who she is.

As for the dog fight, it's not military fiction so I trimmed a lot of the jargon out of the story. What I really wanted to do was to try and capture the feel of the original game's flying sequences and have a good action set piece to give Liz something to feel like Fox again.

I'm glad your enjoying the story.