Casted cuddling, boredom, attempts at solving said boredom, talking about coming out of the closet and fanboys? Just another installment of this shittu.

Six fucking weeks. I’m fortunate that Jean is who he is. Otherwise I would have been left in infirmary. As it is, Jean made a great caretaker for such a shitty patient as me. I could not get used to how little mobility I had so I initially was reluctant to ask for almost every kind of help that he would offer me. He’d just laugh and do it anyway. He also let me use him as an armrest for my more mobile arm. At least this whole ordeal has the perk of being able to indulge myself in cuddling Jean almost 24/7. A foxling could get used to this.
Hellhowl came and paid us a visit a few days after I had been released. She walked into my line of sight and shot me and Jean the goofiest damn smile I have ever seen in my entire life. “D’aww, Ever, you are so fucking cute when you’re injured. You’ve got this pouty expression like the second they let you out of those casts you will kill everything you can reach.” She says laughing. “Everything except for Jean. Because he let me rest my arm on him.” I say chuckling. “Hellhowl, he can’t move the entire left side of his upper body and he can’t untangle his arm from me. You can sit on his left side and taunt him all day and there’s nothing he could do about it.” Jean says laughing. “I trusted you! I am seriously reconsidering sparing you!” I say with a mock snarl. “Aside from the obvious how are you feeling?” she says pulling a chair over to the side of the bunk. Jean gestures at a pile of coloured markers on my desk. Hellhowl chooses green and goes to write something. I try and shrug my shoulders and feel a sudden spike of pain. “Ow, ow, ow. It’s been an adjustment to say the very least. I’m just waiting for the pain to fully go away.” I say breathing in sharply as she pauses pen poised. Jean and Hellhowl shoot me concerned looks. “Are you okay?” Hellhowl says tilting her head in concern. “I am still very, very, sore.” I say breathing out slowly. She goes for my elbow and writes “Sorry I got angry at you-H” joining Jean’s handiwork(he drew pawprints on the bottoms of my feet and had drawn a heart over where mine was with “property of Jean Maret” written inside it) and my father’s (a simple well wish). I’m not quite sure where or how this tradition started but the attention is good for keeping my spirits up. Jean reads it out to me and I laugh heartily.
“At any rate I heard that you were recovering from the first your trials so I picked you up a few things on Druoji.” “Nice, what did you get me?” I say consciously flitting my tail to get more comfortable and to ward of a growing numbness at the base of my tail that can only mean it is slowly falling asleep. “A carved tusk from a local beast and a box of assorted candies. Figured it might help cheer you up a bit.” “Excellent, thank you. I should have picked up some stuff on Zurok for you guys. I was so distracted by my task though I didn’t think about that.” I say with a chuckle. “That’s perfectly normal for your first mission. I felt obliged to get you something to boost your spirits. You’re gonna need it in the next little bit here. Once the pain wears off you’re left with nothing but the inconveniences, mild discomforts and boredom” She sighs. “I thank you for your consideration.” “You’re just lucky all around.” “Oh?” “One: you didn’t get poisoned. Two: Jean is taking care of you, so you don’t have to stay in infirmary. Three: goddamn I am jealous of you. You get to convalesce in relative comfort with the person you love. I mean look at Jean. He’s just a great big grey teddy bear.” She says laughing. That kind of laugh that tells a listener that they are being serious even though they are laughing. “When you put it that way I guess I can see some bright sides to this...but GODDAMN IT MY FUCKING TAIL HAS FALLEN ASLEEP AGAIN!” I yell out the last bit as every inch of my tail starts tingling. “Get used to it, Ever. You have another six weeks of this...more if your luck finally runs out.”
Well she was right about the boredom. Once again I do not handle my downtime well. One week drove me nuts and faced with six of them I was already bouncing off the walls of my mind by the end of the first week. Nothing to do but eat, sleep, watch my new squadron run simulations, cuddle, more sleep, nuzzle Jean, cuddle intensely and lapse into introspection on the nature of these trials. I figure out pretty quickly that the rule that is responsible for my current state of immobility is to teach the candidate on the consequences of their actions. This initially riles me up beyond belief. I have flown over one hundred combat flights and have carried out contracts on the ground. I have seen all kinds of gruesome things. Who understands consequences better than me? Then I begin to reflect a bit more and I realise that I actually didn’t have as good a grasp on that as I thought. After all I had neglected to research the beast before it was too late. I had forgotten the limits of my armour and I had fired without thinking. I had forgotten everything I had ever learned and charged in as though I were invincible. I suppose I did need a reminder of the consequences my actions can have. Still doesn’t mean I’m suddenly good with being stuck in my bunk in a hot,sweaty, itchy cement pillow. Every Time I think I’m okay I get an itch or my tail falls asleep. Although in spite of it all there was a tiny voice in the back of my head saying “Shit I could get used to this.” not so much having Jean do everything for me(although I certainly could get used to that too) as just not having to worry about doing anything at all. Just being able to spend time to myself and relax with Jean. Just being able to talk to him all day about nothing. Almost idyllic in that regard...and then my tail would fall asleep again or my elbow would start itching again and I’d remember that I was basically stuck in a fucking anthill. Six weeks couldn’t be over soon enough for me but if we both somehow lived to see retirement I could certainly enjoy that.
To kill the monotony in between watching my new squad run through the simulations,mealtimes and sleep me and Jean began to get silly. I was laying in bed one day(about week four, cast status:dirty, covered in jokes and dick drawings, typical) waiting for Jean to return from grabbing us breakfast. He returned with both breakfast and a bag. “What’s in that there bag?” I say as Jean places both on our table and lifts me by the armpits into a sitting position. “Ever, how fast do you think that hoverchair of yours can go?” He says giving me a shit eating grin. “Thirty kilometers an hour. Why do you ask Jean?” “I have like six different coloured streamers in that bag. I want to attach them to the back and push you around the hallways yelling like a jackass.” “Jean, I love you more with every word you say. Let’s eat and then get ready for this shit.” I say returning his shit eating grin. A half hour later the two of us are careening down the hallways, laughing and whooping, wearing our flight helmets. Streamers trailing behind us in a glorious blaze of colour. Jean is perched on a small step for people to stand on while going downhill(an admittedly confusing addition but it helped us a ton). People jump out of our way cursing or laughing. My heart is pounding with excitement as the air blows through the few exposed bits of fur I have left for the first time in weeks. Jean expertly turns each corner bringing us around in a lap through E-company quarters. Hellhowl and a number of people from both of our squads are waiting by my room. “What the hell was that?” she asks laughing. “An attempt at breaking the monotony.” Jean says removing my helmet before his own. “Oh god that was fun...so good to feel wind on my fur. To feel the rush again.” I say bouncing in the seat as best I can and panting heavily from laughing and whooping. Jean ruffles my hair a bit and chuckling says “I had to do something to keep my adorable, pent up, little daredevil from becoming a singularity from the boredom!” the group chuckled and clapped. “What brings you to my cabin?” I ask with a chuckle. “I can’t visit a friend?” Hellhowl says with mock indignation. “there’s usually a reason for your visits.” I say as my breath steadies. “Actually I did want to speak with you inside if you don’t mind” We enter my cabin and Jean and Hellhowl place me back in bed. “I’ve gotten a contract but I need a larger group, I was wondering if you’d let me take your squadron. It will be good experience for them.” She says. “You can take them. Everybody except for Jean.” I say feeling a pit of sadness starting in me. To go off the ship for the first time in weeks would be great but it just can’t happen. “Oh,Ever, I know you want to go and believe me I would take you if I could. We can’t strap you into the lander though, and even if we could you’d just slow us down.” She says with a sad smile as she roughs my hair up. “Tell you what though, I will get you something really special to make up for it. A whole bunch of stuff as well as splitting the bounty with you. What do you say?” She continues. “I can hardly say no...still as much as I see the reason...I really want to go off ship.” I say with a loud sigh. “I know. Jean, you take great care of him while I’m gone. Oh I almost forgot, Jean I need to speak to you.” the two of them leave the room for a bit and I hear their mumbled voices as a choked sob escapes me. Jean comes back in and resumes snuggling me and I start sobbing. He strokes my hair muttering calming things. As I calm down he looks at me and asks “Why do you always act like you don’t deserve kindness?” I sigh deeply “I don’t know. I just don’t feel like anything I’ve done makes me more deserving than anybody else.” “Have you ever thought it might be because of who you are not what you’ve done?” “I’m an awful person though.” “God's wounds, Ever, don’t say that about yourself. You’re one of the most wonderful people I have ever known. You’re funny, smart and cute as hell.” “But why do other people like me. Considering my public pose is so obnoxious.” “People actually usually confide in me that they did hate you by reputation until they actually talk to you in person.” Jean chuckles before continuing “Don’t question why you are worthy of the good things in your life. Hold them closely to your heart and be thankful for them.” I am a bit shocked by Jean’s sudden burst of wisdom. He’s more the type to help you through things as an ally than to offer wisdom. “I intend to let the best thing in my life hold me close to his heart.” I say nuzzling him. “That’s the spirit,Ever. You silly foxling.”
The next day Amoro(an otterling), one of my old classmates, popped by. He’s from the A-company squadron that had helped my father during his “clean up” of B-company. He had, in fact, dropped Moorodek down two flights of stairs for me. He adds his scribble to one of my legs and sits down. “I actually got my promotion yesterday.” He says and I can see the concern in his face. “how does it feel?” He asks trying to sound casual. “Do you want to know how I feel now, or right after I woke up?” I say as Jean pulls me into a sitting position before going to grab me some water. “Both. If you please.” “Right now I am bored beyond belief and frustrated to hell and back. My body feels like it’s trapped in an anthill and it only gets worse if you scratch it. I spend almost all day looking up at the floor of my bunk. If Jean wasn’t here I’d be hitting my head against the wall. Matter of fact, the only good thing is it has kept Jean close by my side. If it’s the one thing I could get used to...it’s all the cuddling...god’s wounds I am a dork like that.” I say, finishing to general laughter. Jean helps me take a sip. “However right after I woke up it was awful. My whole body was on fire from the inside. The next week I was still sore so I couldn’t do much...of course those ex B-company fuckwads chose to insult my father...knew I’d put myself in more pain.” I mutter the last part. “Any advice?” “Don’t forget your training. The beast may have dealt my injuries but I am equally responsible. Had I done my research I would have known what to do. If I hadn’t charged in like a jackass I could have dealt with it without injury. Honestly you’re already a step ahead of me by choosing to ask somebody who's been through the trial. I grew up being raised by a wing commander, Hellhowl is one of my best friends. I could’ve asked either but I didn’t.” I feel frustration creep into my voice by the end of my rant. Amoro smiles and says “I figured I’d kill a few birds with one stone.” “Ever, I don’t think he’s finished interrogating you.” Jean chuckles while standing up to get me a drink. “What birds were you hoping to kill by visiting me?” “Well first off I haven’t had time to visit and hang out with you two in a while and I’ve been meaning to for a while. Second I have just finished dealing with. I needed some advice before going off to fight my combat trial. The third is kind of difficult for me to ask but I figured you two would be the best candidates.” He says with a nervous laugh. “Oh god he’s going to ask us a personal question.” Jean chuckles. “We’ll answer it as best we can. Although I can’t promise to deliver any planet destroying advice or revelations.” I say smiling to try and get Amoro to feel more comfortable. “How did you two first...ahem, ‘realise’ you're feelings for each other?” I look at Jean and note the confused expression on his face. He’s just as stumped as me. “I can hear the gears in your minds.” Amoro laughs. “I don’t know...I think one day it all just clicked for me, Jean?” “Yeah...I think one day I made eye contact with Ever and it all just clicked for me.” “And how did you broach the subject?” “That’s easier to Answer. Jean just outright told me one night. He attached it to a request for me to dismiss him for misconduct. I told him not to worry about and that I felt the same way and next thing I knew the great grey lug had crushed my ribcage.” “You exaggerate.” “You winded me with a damn hug...like how?” “well sometimes it can be hard to know your own strength!” He says shaking his head stifling a laugh. “here, let me wrap my better arm around you.” I say trying to wave him over. “I assume you want to know because you have a confession to make to somebody and you’re not sure how they will react to it. Hiding is probably only going to make your problem worse” Jean says as I nod. “But how do I let him know without angering him?” “Be tactfully direct.” I say looking at Jean for a bit of clarification. He nods and says “Don’t kick in his door and say ‘Ayo I’m gay as fuck and I love you’ be direct but tactful.” “Best to do it when you’re well rested. In other words: definitely do it before your combat trial.” He looks us both over and sighs “God I envy you two. Look at you, Ever, casts aside you’ve got one of the nicest and most handsome people to watch over you. Not to mention he’s head over heels in love with you” “I hear that a lot.” “And you, Jean, you’ve got a sentient plushie as your commander and he is clearly putty in your arms.” me and Jean laugh a bit as Amoro breaks into laughter himself. “I see the way you’ve been looking at each other the whole time!” he continues with a sigh. “I think there's one more question on his mind, Ever.” “Well there is just one last thing. How did you go about letting the rest of you squadron know?” “Our old squadron knew in the first week what was going on. Our new one probably realised it shortly after walking in. As for others, such as family cause I know you’re gonna ask, my father caught us cuddling the day I was promoted. Yes it was awkward but it worked out well enough. As for the ship in general, all honesty I could give a rats ass about what they think. Unfortunately some of them quite frequently decide to let us know anyways.” “Those ex B-company bastards?” “And more. It hardly matters. Rules state they can’t attack us. Hasn’t stopped them before but still. To be honest I’m more scared of them right now though than I ever have been in the past.” “Why’s that?” “Before with those ex B-company bastards they just stuck to insults. Now They are out for revenge and I don’t know what lengths they will stop at. Jean is strong but I don’t know if he can hold that many of them off at once.” “Well,Ever, all I have to say is that there is one potential bright side to their revenge plan.” “Oh?” “If they mess up your existing injuries even worse it’ll void the terms of the trial and you will get the medibots…it will probably hurt like nobody's business though.” “Well that’s something at least. Although I wouldn’t really call that a brightside. I somehow rolled out of bed in my sleep while Jean was showering. This was shortly after I got out of infirmary. That hurt like a son of a bitch.” “He was howling in pain for the next hour and a half. I was actually really worried they’d have to re-set most of his injuries.” “D'awww you poor thing. Again you’re so lucky to have at least one thing with you right now.”
After he leaves Jean loads me into the hover chair and takes me to one of the more sparsely populated decks. One of the bright sides of living on a ship as sparsely populated as the Hugo is the amount of free space. “Since yesterday’s experiment in keeping you happy worked so well I figured I’d do the same thing in a space where nobody can complain.”
We spend the next hour zipping around an abandoned hallway laughing like maniacs. Afterwards I couldn’t stop my tail from flitting. I kept trying but it seemed to have acquired a will of it’s own. Jean ruffled my hair and laughed a bit. “Had fun?” “Like you wouldn’t believe. I don’t really want to go back.” “Me neither. You haven’t been to the mess hall lately, let’s go there.”
The E-company mess hall stops as we enter as all non-command personnel stand at attention. I still have yet to adjust to some of the pomp that comes with a command rank. I give them the order to return to what they were doing. Jean leaves me at the end of one of the tables and goes to grab our food. A couple curious newcomers sit by me. “So you’re wing commander Evergold, right?” “That would be correct, may I ask who you are?” “I’m Lanseth and this is my co-pilot Fredreick.” “Pleasure to make your acquaintance.” “No the pleasure's all ours. We’re fans you see. We were going into flight training at about the same time you started to gain a reputation.” He says smiling. I’m a little bit shocked by the concept that I have fans. I know I have a reputation and am quite well known but I never thought I had fans. “Where is Jean Maret?” “He’s getting my dinner, I can’t exactly carry a tray.” “Why not use the armrests?” “Then where would I rest my arms?” For whatever reason this makes the two of them laugh. Jean walks over with our food and I swear I can see their jaws drop. “Who’ve we got here,Ever?” He says setting the trays down and starting to cut up my food. “A couple of fans I guess.” “How do you fly with such a crazy pilot?” Fredreick blurts out clumsily. “I trust him. It’s as simple as that. He could get us killed and I do worry about that a bit. But we’d die together and that doesn’t bother me as much as the thought of one of us being left without the other.” He says feeding me a bite of some pretty good meat. I can’t help but blush a bit at Jean’s straightforward honesty. “Is it true that the two of you are...you know?” “In an intimate relationship? Yes it is true.” “You aren’t worried about the strain it puts on your professional life?” “Jean knows too much about me for me to let him leave. At any rate he’s the only person in the galaxy who can fly with me.” “That’s true enough. Watching the footage of your maneuver at Garelsly almost made me puke.” “Garelsly almost broke me. Ever says that even he didn’t know if he could pull that off” Jean chuckles. “Why do it then?” “Because in those moments I have no choice but to try. Real combat isn’t like the simulators. Those follow set patterns and routines. The computer can’t think as erratically as another living being. At Garelsly we were up against an ace pilot who I had immense respect for. Had fate been kinder I likely would have talked to him the same way you talk to me. He was hounding us and I saw an opening in a wrecked ship that I thought I could fit my fighter through and knew he couldn’t fit his. I’ve done this before and since but that time I wasn’t sure. We did scrape it much closer than we ever have.” “Is that why you fly the most narrow fighter possible?” “Correct, after that I worked on trimming down all unnecessary space.” “What type of engines have you got in there?” “That is a secret I won’t reveal. I will, however, say that they are not nearly powerful enough for my liking. Can never get the speed or accuracy I want when I need it.” “Plus it stalled that one time.” Jean chimes in. “Don’t talk about that, I’ll have a heart attack just thinking about it.” “Wow I can’t believe we got selected to be in the same company as the two of you. As I’m sure you can see, we are quite awestruck.” “You’re handling it well enough.” Jean says as he helps me finish off my plate and moves on to his own. “I can say the feeling is a bit more mutual than either of these two may expect. We never really bothered to learn if we had a reputation. On missions we have a job to do, and we do it well. Off missions we have no time for anybody else. I expect I have a reputation as a recluse as well?” “Sadly so. That’s part of why we were surprised to see you here.” “I’m usually quite a regular fixture here and in the general mess hall. Least I was before my combat trial. These casts add a ton to my weight and Jean has to lift me into this hoverchair. I don’t want him to hurt himself for my sake so usually he just grabs us a bite and brings it back.” “Ah I see. I guess you aren’t actually that reclusive?” “Those who know me know that as long as they knock I usually receive all visitors.” there’s a bit of silence as the two of them just sit in awe. As jean finishes up he stands behind me to steer me out. “I’d offer to sign an autograph for you, but I can’t for obvious reasons.” I wave my more mobile arm around as best I can as the two of them laugh.