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Yeah, it's a bit of a vent piece so, buckle up for self loathing ♥
Forgive me, I just feel if I get all of this off my chest, I might feel better.
This has been happening for a while now. Like spanning beyond before I joined sites like Furaffinity, twitter, tumblr, what have you. Something I've always really battled with, and it gets pretty bad sometimes, is just my general outlook on, well, everything. Especially myself. I joke about how pessimistic and bitchy I am and well the joke is pretty real a lot of the times. I look at other artists, especially one (not mentioning) and I feel like I'm behind, I'm not where I should be and I'm suffering for that because of my lack to try and better myself or try something new. And when I see them succeed I just feel terrible and I feel like I'm falling behind and I'm setting myself up to fail with my petty jealousy. I try to compete but just seeing them and other the artists makes me feel worthless and makes me want to give up. Other times I begin to work on a piece of art and I bumble around like an idiot, like I've never drawn before and it makes me feel pretty shitty. A lot of times, frustrating myself sets off my anxiety and then I'm dealing with a whole new problem. (my face gets hot, my blood pressure goes up, it's not a fun time pally I don't recommend it) and this frustration just begins to stew inside me and just gets blindly fired onto someone that doesn't deserve it, I took it out on someone recently that didn't deserve it and I feel terrible for doing so (we made amends). I don't want any of this, I don't want this to be who I am and how I think but I can't really fight it sometimes. Lately I've lost a bit of joy in things I like to do and games I like to play. I may have some things going on lately that aren't major, but they keep messing with me and it's getting to me.
I want a lot of things. I want to be better. I want to stop being so petty. I just want all my negativity to go away. I want to stop putting band aids on them and I want them gone. I thank whoever that I have my vices and my escapes. I have people I can run to and I have places I can escape to if need be. And I need a lot of places and people to run to lately. I want to make a promise that I'm going to change for myself and you guys and everyone around me. You guys are worth my time and I want to try and show it. I apologize for the shitposting of memes (they're kind of an outlet but I can get obsessive) and if I offended or hurt anyone through any of this without knowing. I love you guys and I want to do the best I can for all of you. Whether you're a watcher or just some random viewer reading this.
I will be better, I promise ♥
Forgive me, I just feel if I get all of this off my chest, I might feel better.
This has been happening for a while now. Like spanning beyond before I joined sites like Furaffinity, twitter, tumblr, what have you. Something I've always really battled with, and it gets pretty bad sometimes, is just my general outlook on, well, everything. Especially myself. I joke about how pessimistic and bitchy I am and well the joke is pretty real a lot of the times. I look at other artists, especially one (not mentioning) and I feel like I'm behind, I'm not where I should be and I'm suffering for that because of my lack to try and better myself or try something new. And when I see them succeed I just feel terrible and I feel like I'm falling behind and I'm setting myself up to fail with my petty jealousy. I try to compete but just seeing them and other the artists makes me feel worthless and makes me want to give up. Other times I begin to work on a piece of art and I bumble around like an idiot, like I've never drawn before and it makes me feel pretty shitty. A lot of times, frustrating myself sets off my anxiety and then I'm dealing with a whole new problem. (my face gets hot, my blood pressure goes up, it's not a fun time pally I don't recommend it) and this frustration just begins to stew inside me and just gets blindly fired onto someone that doesn't deserve it, I took it out on someone recently that didn't deserve it and I feel terrible for doing so (we made amends). I don't want any of this, I don't want this to be who I am and how I think but I can't really fight it sometimes. Lately I've lost a bit of joy in things I like to do and games I like to play. I may have some things going on lately that aren't major, but they keep messing with me and it's getting to me.
I want a lot of things. I want to be better. I want to stop being so petty. I just want all my negativity to go away. I want to stop putting band aids on them and I want them gone. I thank whoever that I have my vices and my escapes. I have people I can run to and I have places I can escape to if need be. And I need a lot of places and people to run to lately. I want to make a promise that I'm going to change for myself and you guys and everyone around me. You guys are worth my time and I want to try and show it. I apologize for the shitposting of memes (they're kind of an outlet but I can get obsessive) and if I offended or hurt anyone through any of this without knowing. I love you guys and I want to do the best I can for all of you. Whether you're a watcher or just some random viewer reading this.
I will be better, I promise ♥
Category Artwork (Digital) / All
Species Lizard
Size 500 x 500px
File Size 69.3 kB
Hey, chin up, pal. I don't know the full story, but feeling like you're slowly being left behind skill wise is something I'm definitely familiar with.
Every art piece I've done I always feel like it should've been easier to draw or that it could've looked better in the end, especially since my artist friends can make things fast and that look better. But I realize that their pace is what fits them the best, if I try to keep up I'll just end up fumbling around. So I just need to pay attention to building my own skills, even if by one step at a time.
Yeah pretty generic stuff, but It's important to remember that. And who knows - maybe they feel the same way about themselves.
Every art piece I've done I always feel like it should've been easier to draw or that it could've looked better in the end, especially since my artist friends can make things fast and that look better. But I realize that their pace is what fits them the best, if I try to keep up I'll just end up fumbling around. So I just need to pay attention to building my own skills, even if by one step at a time.
Yeah pretty generic stuff, but It's important to remember that. And who knows - maybe they feel the same way about themselves.
If it makes you feel better, I see your work as something to aspire to.
Sometimes I feel the exact same way. There are many pieces that i wish i had the drive to improve upon, and There are even some times that I am literally left out of events and contests because my characer is an insect, which means I'm not encouraged to draw in my strong-suits.
As a matter of fact, I plan on hosting a panel at a new furry convention dedicated to the promotion of arthropod characters. That drive to be involved was inspired by you, Tiberius.
Sometimes I feel the exact same way. There are many pieces that i wish i had the drive to improve upon, and There are even some times that I am literally left out of events and contests because my characer is an insect, which means I'm not encouraged to draw in my strong-suits.
As a matter of fact, I plan on hosting a panel at a new furry convention dedicated to the promotion of arthropod characters. That drive to be involved was inspired by you, Tiberius.
I understand how you feel, I used to go through the same feelings, sometimes letting it overwhelm me.
And as an artist sometimes I feel like everything I draw or do is imperfect and should've done better. However, when I fuss about it gets worse, so you just need to develop yourself at your own pace. You can build up your own skills, it may be hard but not impossible, and it will suit you and you needs best.
You're an inspiring character, and I'd give you a hug to make you feel better if I could.
And as an artist sometimes I feel like everything I draw or do is imperfect and should've done better. However, when I fuss about it gets worse, so you just need to develop yourself at your own pace. You can build up your own skills, it may be hard but not impossible, and it will suit you and you needs best.
You're an inspiring character, and I'd give you a hug to make you feel better if I could.
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