Long long time ago, some school buddy of mine, asked me to draw him a fursona. He wanted to be a Panda bear.
I forgot.
He wanted me to teach him to draw, I told him I wasn't that good :p
A few months ago, he found out I'm gay for some of my faves at DA, but instead of getting distant, he got closer to me. We started to hang out a little, he even opened a FA account thou he never used it. A few times he came by my house to eat and play videogames. Once I tried to give him some advice on how to draw, too. We had so much fun.
He was straight, so I used to molest him a little, just kidding. Gotta say I wanted to turn him gay, lol.
Last week, as many of you know from mark's journal, I went on a trip to mexico city with marco. I enjoyed it so much, really good time. Except for one thing...
On saturday the 14th around the afternoon, Mark and I were preparing to go out, we were talking about something, I don't remember what, I was online on my msn, chatting with kibs and some other friends... one of them told me... that my friend had been killed a few days ago, he was suffocated with a belt and his body was found two days after... I was shocked... I couldn't even reply anymore, I mean, I didn't even knew what to say... so many things crossed my mind... so many... appearently they entered his house to rob and found him there, he fought but they were more.
I just couldn't believe it was true, I wanted to pick up my cellphone and call him, I was afraid, confused, it was the first time a friend of mine died... after a while, marco took me out to take some fresh air.I gotta say I'm thankful to have received that new when I was with marco...
I remained thinking about it the rest of the week, and until now...
Last night or so I started thinking "what should I do?" I thought on writting a journal about it since last week but words just didn't came out and then finally yesterday I thought, "let's draw him something" and after a while I remembered, he asked me for a panda...
I wish he was still there to see it.
I'm still not as good, and I haven't even finished it...
I wish we had spent more time togheter...I wish I didn't procastinate so many things...
I wish I would have said yes everytime you said you wanted to go to the movies...
I wish you had come to dinner more often....
I wish we had taken more classestogheter...
I wish we had done "that thing" hehe... thou maybe I would be feeling worse now...
I wish I had tell you, even once, that I loved you as a friend and that you were really important to me... that's the only thing I regret, not having told you even once that you were dear to me.
Even if it's too late... even if you can't read this... I love you, man, you really were a good friend, and will always live on in my heart. And I'm sorry for not finish teaching you to draw and not drawing you this panda earler. I'll colour it later, as soon as I get some free time, but you know as well as I how is hard an architect's career, but either way, I'll finish it, I promise.