So, I know it's not always something families with more than one child experience but in some settings. There is 'favoritism'.

Usually it's a eldest to youngest situation from what I've been told by others. But... its something I fight with a lot. Lately anyways. I'm mean, yeah. I'm a grown fucking adult but I still feel it. Especially since I don't have a father. And my mother is like... the center of my world, I seek her approval and comforts above all people. Yet, I always fall short.

She always pushes me aside for someone else's kid or my brother. Cause his likes fits hers. Cause they compliment one another. Where as I'm kinda like an eyesore. Because I don't like the same things and I'm not fitting her mold of perfection and beauty.

I don't hold anything against my brother. Nothing of the sort, but sometimes I wish she'd show me the same love she gives him. That she'd see me too. That sometimes I can't take care of myself and just want my 'mommy' to comfort me.

It's dumb. Likely really selfish. But just one of those nights when I'm alone too long with myself and my thoughts.