You have great storytelling skills. and you create scenes, something i struggle with. im more of a in-depth character interaction type of person. as a result, i tend to leave descriptions of characters and their environments out. it also has that touch of insanity we all have. all in all, the only thing i'd say is work on your spelling, as mentioned before. you'll get it right eventually.

I do appreciate the comment, and feel honored to know someone is actually reading it.. brings my spirits up. I'm aiming to make it more social than full blown description, but as I mentioned beforehand, this was originally me verbally speaking this, so I tend to go a little overboard from time to time when writing. As with most Verbal to written translations, the story changes a bit, so I had to add in some detail, be it very little.

Got to love insanity, eh? Keeping it as personal as possible, letting the characters do to talking in places of the mounds of text, that's how story telling usually goes anyways =p

And aye.. my spelling and grammar as rather lacking, and I tend to only write on the verge of falling asleep. I tend to get too anxious... and tired at the same time to notice mistakes, even with spell checking staring me down.. And Dear God I'm rambling, I do this too much.. But anyways, thanks agin :3

i'm normally up untill 3 A.M. around here when i write things or use my computer. most of it is spent in thought on what i should say and how to say it best. its a wonder i almost aced the ACT. almost. my handwriting is chicken scratch...and that brought me down. but then again, who actually looks at a written essay anymore? now i'm rambling. XD

It happens, eh?

Got to love early morning brain storming, where the mind is unfit and slightly preoccupied with buzzing ideas about the skull. It's the perfect equivalent to doing drugs, in my opinion. Take one of my stoned friends, then take my sleep deprived mind. Ask us a question, and see who gives the bigger off the wall answer... Okay that's a tad bit unfair, I tend to think things far out of proportion, may explain why pot heads like me XD

I remember back in High School, or State Exam bit. The Essay was over "Inward Struggle". I tend to bash all questions from the 'powers that be', and that wasn't about to change, even if failing this made me fail the state test. So, the entire story I wrote about two people, having their own personal issues, and being unable to express it to one another, except through violence. I went on about how their lives and such were, full detail ect. Then.. At the end, I changed focus to me. And ask the read a question. "How do YOU think I should feel about this?"

Ironically enough I scored a 4. They absolutely loved my story, despite it being in complete disregard for their rules. I got a comment later stating that I had caused an inward struggle with the people that reviewed my essay. Interesting, and here I was just writing loads of junk for them to fail me on XD

wow. i started writing random junk because they asked us: "should male and females be able to play on the same sports team?" now this one i've heard before, and they are going through all this legal junk about this is their question and if i reveal it my test scores are forfeit...who hasn't thought about that question? it relates directly to: "should women and men be treated equally?". the answer: i have no idea. i feel personally all people are equal, no matter who, what or why they are who they are. it all boils down to the one flaw of humanity: being the best. some think they are perfect. some think everybody else should change to fit them. i think the brats need to be smacked around a little. knock some sense into their stupid heads. im not talking about just girls. i know some freaking jerks who think they are the best thing ever. "oh, were so pro-leet. we pwn teh noobs" XD

i scored low because though i rambled a bit, got my point across and got the required essay length and reasons, MY WRITING LOOKS LIKE I WAS ATTACKED BY A RABID SQUIRREL. they told me i needed more reasons, so obviously they couldn't read it. there i go. rambling again. but yeah my ending opinion was pretty much this: "who am i to choose for them? i am not a god. i think they should choose for themselves if they want it so badly." and i wrote all that junk up there, plus some of the general traits of men vs women. go figure. its what happens when you live in michigan. everything sucks except your hockey team. i dont even know where im going anymore.

Read my story beginning. it really just sets it up so that people know what I'm getting at in the actual story. the real action hits somewhere in chapter 4. that is where the bloody junk unfolds. this idea actually started as an idea for a video game i wanted to make, but decided to make a story to go along with the game. after all, its been in my head for 4 years. what else am i going to do?