This might look compromising but there’s nothing even remotely sexual going on

You see, I own a pair of pants with a very impressive fly. The zipper goes down and around all the way back to the butt. For easy access or something, I guess.

I so happened to be wearing these pants at a forest rave that my friend and I were attending last august. It also happened that there were no bathrooms at this forest rave so you had to do your business in the woods. Something that was way more easily said than done when under a certain psychedelic influence, and closing that immense zipper when I was done was even more of a challenge.

And when I stand there, it strikes me what a ridiculous sight we must’ve been; both of us intoxicated with different stuff and struggling really hard to close a goddamn zipper