amen, been there done that, now have a daughter having issues with brain chemistry, finally talked her into going to a Dr about it.

Good for you! And also good for her! When I was a kid one of the things that I think would have helped me the most was to have a supportive parent. I'm glad your daughter has someone there to back her up when she needs it :)

I've been struggling a lot lately. Thought I could do it on my own for so long, and it finally got bad enough I had to admit to myself I need help.

I have an appointment to see the doctor on Monday.

People should never feel like they have to go through things alone, it's always ok to ask for help.

I never really understood mental illness until I suffered from it myself. About four years ago I experienced such overwhelming anxiety and depression I dropped everything creative for at least a year. It took another six months before I could sit at my work desk without having an anxiety attack, and six more before I wanted to write again. I thought I never would. Most folks think mental illness is like a mood you can just wish away or normal blahs and it isn't. You can't control it and a lot of folks dismiss it and expect you to just get better. I took Zoloft for a year myself and it helped. It got me back to where I could function again.

Hugs tight

Thanks for sharing.

I've been on generic Welbutrin for a couple years. It's helped immensely. Though I should go back for therapy, it's made a big difference.

You seem like a very strong person to literally bring yourself out of all those horrible situations.I had many of the same problems but back in the 60's we only had illegal drugs to self medicate for" depression,mental issues". people called me "damaged" back then.He who must not be seen !I dragged myself out of that life and now my wife and I have happily attended the wedding of our oldest son. Stay strong and positive it's all worth it.

I can somewhat relate, in that I was bullied badly as a kid (mostly due to a birth defect that got surgically corrected). And in one instance got beaten up badly and removed from school for a time to heal .., which is one reason really crowded rooms & I don't function well; that beating had me gun-shy of people for a while.

Thankfully my folks got me through it; drugs never became an issue.

Thank goodness you've gotten through your experience to become the awesome person you are!❤️

Yep, yep. Depression is no joke. My father refused all help - or even to admit there was any problem in the first place. My brother went to the doctors, and once he found a competent one, did well. The difference is night and day.

I was on my way to being suicidal from depression until a family member made me go see a doctor (because I didn't care enough to go on my own)

My story is virtually the same as yours, but diverges a little halfway through. I purposefully stopped taking anti-depressants. They made me feel like a zombie and when I asked my psychiatrist about lowering my dosage to reduce the side effects, instead, she prescribed more medication to counter them. I ended up having to take 6 pills per day plus a sleep medication.

I know that most psychiatrists care about their patients, however mine didn't. When they make a drug that can treat it without any side effects, I'll get back on medication. Until then, I've got to wrestle it with what I've got now.

One of the unfortunate things about brain chemistry is that although there's a lot of similarities, no two brains are alike and what works for one person might not work for another. Some drugs seem to work miracles for some, and others they do nothing or make things worse. I hope you find something, be it therapy or medication or a change of scenery or such, that help you.

The scenery change helped a lot as well as having people close that care. I still get very bad depression spells that last a day or two, but I know they'll pass and I'm in a much better place than I was growing up.

Man. I went through, like, a number of different antidepressants to find something that worked alright. There almost has to be something that has tolerable side effects for ya. And that doesn't require an entire pharmacy.

But it also took me 2.5 years to get to the good one. So... I suggest trying again, and enduring the long experiment to find what works on your brain. Granted, I hit the wrong end of the bell curve for lucking onto something that works. But, yanno, if you can endure, it can be worth it.

I tried, but the best suggestion the psychiatrist had was what I was on. The trial and error involved gave me Parkinson's-like symptoms or gave me narcolepsy. I had a narcoleptic spell on the middle of a road trip while driving. Thankfully, the passenger managed to grab the wheel and wake me up quick enough to keep us from crashing. The best that I got was stoic. Not happy, but not sad.

How long ago was that? Could try seeing if there's anything new. ^^;

10 years ago, but now my insurance doesn't cover psychiatrist visits. =/

:( I'm on obamacare. That does cover it. Maybe hit the exchanges and check your eligibility for subsidies to get something that does cover it... or talk to your regular doctor about it, because they're just as capable with antidepressants. There's more than one way to skin a cat. Not that we want to skin the cat, but... well...

Flaxseed. Wooo boy, I got a lot of similar advice.

Awww Gen. Thanks for sharing this with us. Every time I've met you at cons and other "Furry" type gatherings you seemed so relaxed and at ease. I figured that a lot of it had to do with your being amongst friends, and I believe there was one con where you had your dgs along, which I figured that they gave you some sort of "Security." If anything it was a lot of fun chatting about your pets, and discussing their personalities.

I'm getting the impression that a lot of the folks I know who are artistic in nature and involved in the Fandom share a troubled past, but have found a way to express themselves in a way that not only relieves their inner turmoil, but also makes the world a little bit more "Interesting."

That gets me to wondering... I know there's "Art Therapy," but has there ever been something like "Comic book Therapy?" I mean, in any case, it still involves telling a story.

Good on you, Gen.

I had my own problems with anxiety and depression over the years, but what I didn't understand or even know was how interconnected with my chronic pain it was. I was a huge mental mess when I left all behind in 2002, managed some of the knots but in 2009 I had to get help. That was painful, I'd been working on myself by myself, I wouldn't let Dean or anyone else in. I'm on Venlafexine, generic Effexor, and that helps with the clinical anxiety and depression, but also the neuropathy due to the severe nerve damage I have.

Looking back over the past years and seeing how I was, and with what I know now, I wish I had gotten help back then. Hindsight and all. Friends at the time and detractors all had the conclusion I was bi-polar, and some would keep telling me that over and over. When I was finally diagnosed in 2009, I was very surprised at how the chronic pain, clinical anxiety, clinical depression, all were in a horrid cycle which gave the symptoms of bi-polar. I've managed to cut down that cycle muchly, but it's still there and will always be. I just know what particular newspaper or depleted uranium baseball bat I need to apply but some days, even that doesn't work.

I'm very glad you're as okay as you can be now. Grats on Kitties, and may your current hand problem recover quickly.


-- Lia, going back to lurking....

Thank you for sharing your story.

I always knew I was a little 'different' when I was younger. The school I went to recognized something was up and I got into a lot of special classes where I thrived and graduated on time. Still I didn't have a full diagnoses until late 2007 (when I was 29) of Asperger's, Depressive Anxiety and a little bit of ADHD sprinkled in for good measure. I haven't had to take medication but I do go to a therapist regularly and I have a great support system of family and friends (especially the furry & Little Tales community). I wholeheartedly agree with the message of this comic.

Thank you so much Gen for sharing this with us. *Hugs* Loves ya lots! :)

My husband's been on Zoloft for over ten years now, and it's made a huge impact in his health and well being. Changing jobs also helped a lot, because he loves what he does and he's got management who listen rather than blowing him off. It made a huge difference. It took close to a year of coaxing to get him to talk to a doctor about it in the first place, and having a receptionist get in his face the first time he tried to set up an appointment was a HUGE setback (I'd love to smack that lady if I ever knew who she was).

He didn't want or expect a pill to magically make everything better. Getting on Zoloft didn't fix things instantly, but it helped level off the panic attacks, made life more bearable, etc.

Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm glad you were able to find the help you needed in the end <3

I've been living with untreated depression for years because I felt like I wasn't depressed 'enough' to ask for help. I started on antidepressants and counselling a couple of months ago and it really is like night and day. Looking back now I can see how disconnected I was from my friends and family for the past couple of years and I only wish I'd gotten help sooner, but what's done is done and here I am now.

I too am a survivor of merciless bullying. Nobody came to my aid save my mother...many adults were not just merely unhelpful they punished ME instead of the bullies, quite directly counted themselves among the enemy. My few friends abandoned me the moment things got tough.

It has left scars that have never fully healed, including brittleness and depression. In high school I was regularly encouraged to kill myself. I nearly did. To this day suicidal thoughts are never far from the surface. To this day I find it incredibly hard to believe even my loyal friends when they say they have my back.

Cymbalta is what keeps me functional, that and my antiinflammatories. The recent election results may mean I will lose all access to thesee meds that keep me alive. I know what I will do if all else fails.

But what did I learn from you, Gen? I learned not to let one bad day freeze an image of a person on my mind forever. I learned forgiveness. And to this day I fight for the little guy (or gal) because in these dark times, nobody else may bother.

Be careful with Cymbalta. It gave me liver problems, symptoms of diabetes. I've never been diabetic and it's not in my family. When I stopped using it, my blood sugar went back to its normal levels. I found out through research that this side effect happens much of the time. If it hasn't harmed you, great, just keep an eye on your blood sugar.

-- Lia

Thank you for that heads-up. I need to watch my blood sugar carefully anyway. This just gives me a further excuse to do it.

Very welcome!

-- Lia

...Tygger Graf? My God. It's been ages! I'm so glad to hear from you!!

Heyas. :)

I've started to come back to the edges of the fandoms I left in 2002. It's been a year now since October. Just lurking these days. I commented on Gen's comic because it touched home for me.

-- Lia

I'm glad you found something that helped you. People tend to look at mental health as something controllable just because you can technically "control your thoughts." The brain is a physical thing that needs attention like other organs. You have to do what you need to do to make yourself better and happier.

Because flaxseed cures everything.

I'm glad you got your neurochemistry -- and your life -- straightened out. I got plenty of support from my family growing up (which is probably why I'm not writing this from prison), but I was the smart little fat kid with the glasses in school. Talk about having a target on your back.

Nine years ago, I quit a job that was killing me and started a new job. I didn't realize I was clinically depressed until about a month later, when I started to recover. A few months back, the cycle started over, but now I have a lady friend who is working on her certification as a therapist. She helps so much, it almost hurts to think what it would be like without her.

Cant say I can relate but I understand. I had some bully issues in jr high and high school but I was able to stand up to them with some support from my friends and the bullies backed down. Grew up with mild to moderate ADHD too but I wouldn't call it bad or anything. I can never fully understand what its like to go through all that but all I can say is you are a strong person and I'll always have a hug ready for anyone that needs one *hugs everyone*

Thank you for sharing this. You are strong for asking for help.

Thanks for sharing your story! It is good to hear that you're life has improved. I was on the same path. Finally got to see a therapist near the start of the year (after suffering through this since high school til I turned 28) and they prescribe me some Xanax and Lexipro with some Ambien to actually let me sleep for more than an hour at a time. Doing so much better and am trying to be social and vocal and active. I think this comment is testament to that.

Again, thanks for sharing your story. And I'm very glad you have improved so much. Anxiety and depression suck. But they are beatable. And even if someone has to fight that battle each day, it is winnable. And it is a battle worth fighting for.

51 here, ive gotten used to it and found ways of seeing things differently :)

just something to be awaer if with Welbutein, Great stuff works wonders but it has the nasty habit of suddenly Stop working. it happened to me, Twice! nose dived each time. but hopefully the zoloft will keep things regulated.
thanks for sharing your story hon may each sunrise be bright for you.
--Rick

Thanks for sharing

ABSOLUTELY.

There is no shame in taking meds for any condition, mental or physical. Welbutrin and Zoloft? Made me into a functional human being again. I wasn't *happy* but I'm *content* and can find moments of joy, and most importantly *function*.

Thank you for sharing. It takes courage to admit this sort of thing.

I'm in roughly the same boat. Depression runs strongly in my family, to the point that one of my earliest memories of my mother is the day she told me she was going to commit suicide, so we needed to know how to cook in order to care for ourselves.

I wasn't even ten years old yet. (Semi-thankfully, she later decided that our father was too incompetent to care for us, so she didn't commit suicide after all.)

As for me, I did have a pill that worked wonders for me -- Tofranil. I didn't know it at the time, but it's a combination antidepressant and anxiolytic, so it actually let me slow down and focus for the first time in my life. Without it, I had to constantly keep talking or I developed a splitting headache -- with it, I could finally stop repeating the same stories over and over just to keep the pain away. (The racing thoughts involved were apparently indicative of an anxiety disorder, not that they explained that to me at the time.)

Unfortunately, I haven't been on it in years. Not only was I sensitive to it -- we're talking 2.5 mg (half a 5 mg tablet) twice a day -- but I was required to take Lithium as well due to possible side effects. (Lithium treats me funny. On the third day after beginning the course, I have a panic attack. If you don't think that got me some funny looks from psychiatrists...)

In any event, I have no insurance and don't qualify for Medicaid, so I'm not going back on it anytime soon. But I do miss it terribly.

I've been there, got very, very low myself.

Luckily for me a few months with a counselor to help retrain the way I had been thinking, few techniques to help me manage stress and depression, and I am doing much better today. I'm glad that you found what works for you and that they have moved away from using just a handful of methods to deal with everything.

Love you, my old friend!

was bullied in school (and family) as well as abused....once i got diagnosed (bipolar 2 rapid cycling) and got on the right meds it helped alot ..my therapy is gaming and hanging out with my friend online and RL..
and yes there is no shame in asking for help

This. Thank you for speaking out. Taking care of our mental wellness, as a nation and culture, is dreadfully lacking for how medically advanced we are. The more peeps speak up, perhaps the more people can seek and find help.

I've been diagnosed with mild depression but I just need to be out and about with friends for it to not be affected by it. I was bullied as well when I was younger in school but it stopped when I hit HS. The depression didn't start happening for I don't know how long ago I never actually noticed after being diagnosed till like I was 23 ( 28 now. ) Never got on medication for it because all I needed to do was be out and about with friends ( which was a bit difficult to do but manageable. ) Something else that helped was being with people who I've known and can play games with not just rando's.

I only started getting help with my issues thanks to the ACA. So while I finally, after 2.5 years, have gotten on something that really makes a difference (also wellbutrin)... given who runs the senate now, I'm more than a bit afraid of having my coverage nuked and... uh... I don't know that I'd survive that. Just dreading what's coming is making it very difficult.

If anybody reads down this far, I had to try practically all the various antidepressants on the market to hit something that was better than the side effects. I would spend 3-4 months on each, the first 2 to change over, and then a month or more to find out what my brain was like on it. I've had some increase anxiety and depression, or sleep, or just make depression worse, or be fine except for when, once or twice in a week, anxiety attack for HOURS!

Not fun. But necessary. See... I had a really nice upbringing... and still wound up with suicidal depression. I spent a good 15 years of my life not expecting to live more than a few months to a year. I was clinging to shreds of hope for the future... and it was mostly video game releases. Promises to the self of "Just hang on another month. That GTA game will be worth it." Not sustainable.

Even then, with games being the one thing I was looking forward to enough to endure... I was only playing them one day in three. This wasn't to stretch them out. I was too depressed to fire them up and get lost in their worlds.

For the last few months, I've been able to reliably do things I want to do... most days. It's been quite nice. What I'm going through right now, fearing greatly for the future... both in general and my own safety... I am showing all my signs of depression again. And I know there's really nothing I can do about it. I just get to endure, and eventually maybe claw my way back to feeling normal again. Like I did throughout October. I thought I'd be able to get back to holding a job and not having to ever feel like *this* again. To not catch myself pondering the worst.

And of course, at a time that there's a real risk I might need a bit of time in a mental hospital... the governor wants to shut 'em all down. Probably wants the residents in the prisons, since that's what always happens, historically.

Well, if I survive the next few years... I should be good. If not... well, it's been fun. (note, not expecting jack to happen in near future. Just... from my perspective, it's a bit like finding out your insurance is thinking of denying you dialysis and letting you die... knowing you won't survive long enough for a court to save you. I'm not dead yet, but it could turn bad soon.)

I hope the stigma around medicine for mental health is diminishing.

I'm glad to have you as a friend Gen. <3.

Like you I was bullied a lot as a kid. I felt like everyone was out to get me. I didn't have many friends either, it was like I was always alone. Any friends I THOUGHT I had turned on me. They were always older than me so they never liked hanging out with the kid and in the end they ended up bullying me just to get rid of me. Even the friends I thought I had during my teens were more interested in keeping me around as a verbal punch bag to make themselves feel superior and flaunt it at me every chance.
Even church wasn't enough too help me find close friends. Everyone was more into their needs and trying to please god and shrug me off.

It was only when I went to college I was able too find people who really mattered and helped me break through that haze of abuse and see them for what they really were.

More so when I started opening up more in the furry community I made more friends and allies than I ever did as a kid. So I'm gload too have you a friend and those here in the furry community.
I admit that I am not very active or talkative like most are. It's mostly b/c I developed the psychological fear that I would embarrass them, annoy them with pest messages or say something stupid that they would push me out again. So I rarely ever make contact online with anyone and always keep to myself as the one kid in the corner.

Yup as a GAD sufferer from a young age I know all too well, thankfully I had supportive family but it still had a crippling effect none the less.

if I didn't admire you already, i would from your being resilient and truthful enough to tell your story. ^.^

*lifts his mug of iced tea*

Preach that truth, sister.

I need to do the same.

Listen to doctors, not to those who are,
as Joan Jet and the Blackhearts call them,
fake friends.

You're the real deal.

Thanks again, Gen, for this strip and all of the comments from those that have 'been there'. I'm considering looking into therapy, it's been rather rough this last few years, and I've got a busted motivator with all the stress and such. Your (and every ones!) comments are encouraging me. Thanks!

And to all, have a better New Year!

definitely late to the party, but amen to that.

Recently came out of the most painful and difficult year in my life, and actually have an appointment with a psychologist later today. Mental health is no joke, and I'm glad of the awareness nowadays!