*The worn and tired husky would fall to his knees, his body quivering as he stared towards the ground with a somber look in his eyes. They begin tearing up as his hands clench into fists... a feeling of anxiousness and a heavy weight pressing down on his shoulders, unable to stand himself up. He spoke in a soft, whimpering breath to himself as he tried to regain his composure, but unable to do so, feeling that same empty feeling he has felt his whole life*

"The memories of a lost loved one... the moments that pop in your head where you remember you were happy... remembering what you did to fuck it all up... how you wish you could change the past, stop yourself from making those mistakes... yet... here we are living with the things we've done. Living with the choices we have made. There are many times I wish, oh... how I wish... I could go back and fix the things I did wrong... Always feeling alone, even with my friends and loved ones around me. Always feeling like I do not matter! ... Yet... every day I find myself waking up to yet another morning of feeling alone... feeling the sadness that always creeps over me... not knowing how to even fight it off, but I am still here... still alive. Maybe things are just ment to be this way for me... Perhaps this is just how I have to live. I have grown tired of the fight, but I do know there are a few who still wish me here... and for them, I am. Still, every day I have that same pain as before... I know they love me, yet I still always feel so empty. God, save me from myself... save me from whatever this feeling is inside of me because I do not know how much longer I can keep fighting this..."

*The husky shook more as his eyes closed tight, tears streaming down his cheek as he suddenly lifted one arm before punching straight down against the concrete his body rested on, hitting it hard enough to cause his hand to bleed, though unable to feel anything but the painful loneliness inside of him, feeling lost and afraid of what might happen tomorrow. He sat there, whimpering as he continued to cry, staining the concrete underneath him with his tears. He knew he had to keep fighting, but he was losing the war within himself, that dark feeling inside slowly beginning to take over his body, pulling him back into the depression, anger and sadness he has fought with time and time again.*

---

so yeah, a bit of a departure from my normal stuff. I just get these ideas that pop into my head when i start listening to music, and I need to do something with them immediately before i lose them. A picture always helps for me. Anyways... I know I am not much of a writer, but I know that some of you who are watching me, and even myself have felt like this. I do fight it off here and there, but I have managed. I want my watchers who are dealing with depression, as well as the rest of you... Know that you are loved. I might not know you on a personal level, but you all mean the world to me. You've taken an interest in what I post and my sona in general, and those of you who have talked with me, its even better. I have made some wonderful friends because of it. If you guys are feeling depressed, even a small bit... please. Reach out to someone, anyone. Even I will be willing to lend a ear if you need someone to talk to. No one should have to go down that road alone, and remember. You mean the world to me, and I know there are others out there that feel the same, even if you do not feel like others do care... we do.


pic theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjO5oBCpo0o (X-Divide - Sympathy (Frozen Plasma Remix)