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More from Babs Wolf
My parents are dead. My mother died about 8 years ago, and Dad's been gone for nearly two. You'd think with as much time that's passed I'd be Over It. I'd certainly like to think so. I'm able to function in normal society without breaking down every few minutes. I acknowledge what has happened, and acknowledge that they are no longer, and move forward to make them proud of me regardless, instead of dwelling on the past and the fact that they are gone. I am not alone in life. I do not have any blood relatives, but I have many friends and their families, and they all love me very much. The feeling is mutual.
My subconscious apparently is another story. Because all freaking week long I've been suckerpunched with horrible nightmares about them that have me jolting awake and leaving me haunted with this pain and untethered feeling left over.
So yes. "Dear Subconscious Bunnymind. I Get It. I'm Over It. You can go back into hiding now, I'm fine. Because at nearly 4 am, I should be asleep, not sitting here slaving over artwork because I'm uneasy about letting slumber take over. kthxbai. Sincerely, Babs."
My subconscious apparently is another story. Because all freaking week long I've been suckerpunched with horrible nightmares about them that have me jolting awake and leaving me haunted with this pain and untethered feeling left over.
So yes. "Dear Subconscious Bunnymind. I Get It. I'm Over It. You can go back into hiding now, I'm fine. Because at nearly 4 am, I should be asleep, not sitting here slaving over artwork because I'm uneasy about letting slumber take over. kthxbai. Sincerely, Babs."
Category All / General Furry Art
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 662 x 594px
File Size 139.6 kB
Oy, the feeling is all too similar. I'm still not quite over my father's passing (probably since the event was so . . traumatizing) and since it was in November, '05. It was like three fourths of my soul just up and departed when dead went and gone, but life just moved on without me for a couple months.
AAAAnyway. . . . compelling artwork. Very expression filled. I like her color pattern. n_n
AAAAnyway. . . . compelling artwork. Very expression filled. I like her color pattern. n_n
I know how that is. My mom died after my childbirth and father died three laters in the Gulf War, 1991. I still have nightmares stemming from it, and I don't believe they're ever going to end. All I have left is two friends, and two brothers. I still keep going on, though.
Keep fighting, girl. It's all that can be done, because giving up and quitting is never an option.
Keep fighting, girl. It's all that can be done, because giving up and quitting is never an option.
You are right, near or far, you have many who love you and cherish you for the spunky wonderful person you are. ^_^ I bet you your parents are proud of who you are and who you've become. Never stop striving to do good, and to be that which encapsulates goodness. *warm nuzzles*
Oh Babsy.. I'm sorry you're having such horrid dreams and hurting and stuff.. *HUGS* :/
You know, I honestly don't think you ever quite get over it, and I think that it's ok. I have my days where everything's perfectly fine, and then there's days where I'll think about it and just be sorta numb, and then there's this total suckerpunch of "oh God, Dad.." and I lose it. That's where catharsis comes in, at least for me.
I know we've had different experiences, and we prolly deal in different ways, but no matter what, I'm right behind you every step of the way. <:)
You know, I honestly don't think you ever quite get over it, and I think that it's ok. I have my days where everything's perfectly fine, and then there's days where I'll think about it and just be sorta numb, and then there's this total suckerpunch of "oh God, Dad.." and I lose it. That's where catharsis comes in, at least for me.
I know we've had different experiences, and we prolly deal in different ways, but no matter what, I'm right behind you every step of the way. <:)
Aww, how sad. =( I just lost my aunt who was very, very close to me and I can't stop thinking about her...
Everyone keeps saying its okay and that she's in a better place and all, but it doesn't seem to help much. I've woken up myself with the recurring terrible thought of her passing.
I just take it day by day and remember all the time I had with her. After all that's what matters.
Keep your chin up! ^_^
Everyone keeps saying its okay and that she's in a better place and all, but it doesn't seem to help much. I've woken up myself with the recurring terrible thought of her passing.
I just take it day by day and remember all the time I had with her. After all that's what matters.
Keep your chin up! ^_^
*big hugs* I know exactly how you feel, Babsy. I also lost both of my parents: my father to a massive stroke/heart attack in October of 2003, and my mother to cancer in January of 2005. I was never that close with my dad, but I still miss him very much. My mom and I were as close as two people could be. We often even knew what the other was thinking, and sometimes finished each other's sentences.
The pain never really goes away, because they were such a big part of the person you are. But because of that, and all the feelings and memories you have, they'll never truly ever be gone. They live on in you, and you are their greatest legacy.
Whatever your beliefs are about death and the hereafter, I'm sure that they are somehow with you still, watching over you, and I'm sure they're very proud. Love outlives those that loved.
The pain never really goes away, because they were such a big part of the person you are. But because of that, and all the feelings and memories you have, they'll never truly ever be gone. They live on in you, and you are their greatest legacy.
Whatever your beliefs are about death and the hereafter, I'm sure that they are somehow with you still, watching over you, and I'm sure they're very proud. Love outlives those that loved.
That's just so sad. <:' I for one will definetly keep you in my prayers, my lovely bunny fwiend. <:3 *huggles* ;3 I for one have gone through the same way, going through my past. But always remember, when the devil reminds you of your past, remind HIM of his future! XD
No wonder you were saying how frazzled you were. I still have nightmares about my paternal grandmother's final months, and I de=read what will happen when my parents eventually pass on.
For now, I offer you sympathy and hugs. And any time you want to call and talk about it, feel free.
For now, I offer you sympathy and hugs. And any time you want to call and talk about it, feel free.
There seems to have been a rash of old sleep lately. I have a friend that's been having nightmares/bad dreams for a week straight. Myself I haven't been having bad dreams(except once finally had that falling dream people talk about) or nightmares, but I have been having really really weird dreams. The subconcious mind loves messin around with us... shame we can't just really tell it to STFU
In March of this year, I showed up for work and hadn't even made it to my desk when a co-worker told me that she'd seen an obit and wondered if it was my father. By the time I got to my desk, I'd been asked two more times by other people as the obit had mentioned the name of a surviving son and it happened to be mine. I hadn't seen my father in some time, so I decided to do a cyber search of the local newspapers to find this obit.
As I hit SEARCH, my supervisor came over - she had cut the obit out of the paper and wanted to know if this guy was a relation. Much to my shock and horror, there was my father's picture - no mistaking - my father was gone.
My parents had divorsed when I was young and I hadn't seen my father in some time. His second wife, never fond of me, did us both the ultimate diservice by not informing me that he was on his death bed, nor informing anyone but her own family that he had died - he had been burried by the time I read the obit.
I never got to make my peace with him while he was alive.
I never even got to see him one last time and tell him goodbye.
I thought I could be strong, but by the time I'd called my younger brother, I had broken down in tears - I was barely able to choke out to him "Jim, Dad is dead."
Later that day, I arrived at the cemetary and had to say my goodbyes to a wreath and a patch of fresh dirt - the last image in my mind of my Dad is the picture in the obit.
I've checked my Dad's grave every weekend for a headstone since then. A friend tipped me off to this entry and so, tonight, on my way home from a local friend's home, I decided to check to see if Dad had a headstone yet.
As fate would have it, he did.
It's 4am my time right now - it was around 3:30am when I hit the cemetary and checked. All the emotions, the sadness, the loss and everything else I felt when I nelt in the raw dirt over his grave came flooding back to me - I cried like I haven't cried in years as I hugged his headstone in the dark, by myself - I still missed him and it still hurt just as badly as it hurt not even six months ago when I was handed his obit by my supervisor.
The point that I'm trying to make, is that it's ok to remember your parents, it's ok to dream about them, it's ok to still morn thier passing.
There's nothing wrong with getting on with your life and not breaking down in tears every five minutes because they're gone.
However, they're your parents - you don't have to forget them completely. Yes, they do want you to continue to enjoy your life and friends, however, they don't want you to forget and abandon them.
That's what they're trying to tell you in your dreams.
Don't fight the dreams, don't rebel against them and don't resent them.
Be happy that you can spend some time with your parents again, if only in your dreams. Don't feel bad about giving them some thoughts and tears at 4am and don't be ashamed to say to yourself or the darkness "I miss you too Mom and Dad."
Shed the tears and remember the good times you spent with them - they're your Mom and Dad and there's nothing wrong with that.
Then, instead of fearing the dreams and staying awake to avoid them, wipe your eyes, blow your nose and close your eyes with the best of memories of them going through your mind.
Yeah, maybe you'll wet your pillow a bit, but it's ok, because they're your parents and you love them deeply and there's no shame in that and you should never view that as a bad thing.
My eyes are still puffy from tears and my hands are still stained with the grass of my father's grave as I type this, but if a macho, over testosterone type guy like me can accept and embrace his grief, then so can you.
So the next time you wake up from a dream about your parents, don't look at it as a bad thing. Instead, embrace the fact that you can still remember them so clearly and that they've taken the time to come back from the other side to visit you in your dreams and remind you how much you all loved each other.
Then wipe away the tears that they've earned from you over the years and go back to sleep with the thought that your parents still love you and are still watching over you, even after all this time.
Sweet dreams. :`)
As I hit SEARCH, my supervisor came over - she had cut the obit out of the paper and wanted to know if this guy was a relation. Much to my shock and horror, there was my father's picture - no mistaking - my father was gone.
My parents had divorsed when I was young and I hadn't seen my father in some time. His second wife, never fond of me, did us both the ultimate diservice by not informing me that he was on his death bed, nor informing anyone but her own family that he had died - he had been burried by the time I read the obit.
I never got to make my peace with him while he was alive.
I never even got to see him one last time and tell him goodbye.
I thought I could be strong, but by the time I'd called my younger brother, I had broken down in tears - I was barely able to choke out to him "Jim, Dad is dead."
Later that day, I arrived at the cemetary and had to say my goodbyes to a wreath and a patch of fresh dirt - the last image in my mind of my Dad is the picture in the obit.
I've checked my Dad's grave every weekend for a headstone since then. A friend tipped me off to this entry and so, tonight, on my way home from a local friend's home, I decided to check to see if Dad had a headstone yet.
As fate would have it, he did.
It's 4am my time right now - it was around 3:30am when I hit the cemetary and checked. All the emotions, the sadness, the loss and everything else I felt when I nelt in the raw dirt over his grave came flooding back to me - I cried like I haven't cried in years as I hugged his headstone in the dark, by myself - I still missed him and it still hurt just as badly as it hurt not even six months ago when I was handed his obit by my supervisor.
The point that I'm trying to make, is that it's ok to remember your parents, it's ok to dream about them, it's ok to still morn thier passing.
There's nothing wrong with getting on with your life and not breaking down in tears every five minutes because they're gone.
However, they're your parents - you don't have to forget them completely. Yes, they do want you to continue to enjoy your life and friends, however, they don't want you to forget and abandon them.
That's what they're trying to tell you in your dreams.
Don't fight the dreams, don't rebel against them and don't resent them.
Be happy that you can spend some time with your parents again, if only in your dreams. Don't feel bad about giving them some thoughts and tears at 4am and don't be ashamed to say to yourself or the darkness "I miss you too Mom and Dad."
Shed the tears and remember the good times you spent with them - they're your Mom and Dad and there's nothing wrong with that.
Then, instead of fearing the dreams and staying awake to avoid them, wipe your eyes, blow your nose and close your eyes with the best of memories of them going through your mind.
Yeah, maybe you'll wet your pillow a bit, but it's ok, because they're your parents and you love them deeply and there's no shame in that and you should never view that as a bad thing.
My eyes are still puffy from tears and my hands are still stained with the grass of my father's grave as I type this, but if a macho, over testosterone type guy like me can accept and embrace his grief, then so can you.
So the next time you wake up from a dream about your parents, don't look at it as a bad thing. Instead, embrace the fact that you can still remember them so clearly and that they've taken the time to come back from the other side to visit you in your dreams and remind you how much you all loved each other.
Then wipe away the tears that they've earned from you over the years and go back to sleep with the thought that your parents still love you and are still watching over you, even after all this time.
Sweet dreams. :`)
W'lcome. I must say this: Not everyone is affected the same way as others by deaths in the family. When my grandmother died a little while ago, my brother, mother, and father were pretty brocken up about it. I, on the other hand, was slightly depressed a bit. When I had initially learned of her death, I didn't even blink. I almost said,"And what of it?" I didn't of course, and it turned out later on that Adderall burns out your emotions. I really don't feel extremes in any emotion anymore even though I'm off it now. I can still comprehend other's pain though.
In a way, that sounds like me. I just don't seem to get as broken up about death as others. Adderall? What do they prescribe that for?
If you don't feel secure enough to tell me, let me say that I'm easily schizophrenic, bipolar, obsessive compulsive, and/or have GAD. I just haven't been diagnosed yet.
You gotta keep moving.
If you don't feel secure enough to tell me, let me say that I'm easily schizophrenic, bipolar, obsessive compulsive, and/or have GAD. I just haven't been diagnosed yet.
You gotta keep moving.
I'm no expert on that sort of thing, but I don't think that's the sort of thing one gets over. Believe me though, I understand well what it's like to have terrible dreams that you want to go away. I'm not haunted by anyone's death, but my childhood has left me a lot of fuel for terrible dreams. A lot of what I dream doesn't bear repeating. I do hope your dreams sweeten in time.
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