The overall presentation and progression of the poem feels a bit disjointed, it doesn't seem to follow the proper, more traditional syntax of how poems usually are. It could also help if you could put the events in separate paragraphs.

That being said, I like the imagery and the setting that the poem is conveying, you can feel that it is genuine raw emotion that went into this.

Thats very nice! ^^ I didn't know you writing that so good. Well the story is very sad but i understand it. Good job!

H-hun... Th-this is such a sad story. How or where did you get this idea?

This is like the Romeo and Juliet by written but an idiot.